Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Coming out on stage


Maddee

Recommended Posts

In 2015 I came out to a chosen dozen people. This drummer, who always billed us as brothers, didn't believe me but said he supported me. We landed this weird backup band gig with a community theater doing American Idiot. I figured if theatre people can't take a joke, who can? The band (all tall guys) decided on a uniform look, and I told them I was exempt from the dress code!

So against my wishes, they put my birth name in the news, media, and playbills. I sashayed on anyway. These shows outed me more than I planned at that point. My brother has not spoken to me much since, and some day I'm gonna show up at one of his gigs and blow his mind.

This was June 2016
I'm wearing 6" heels that a girl from a trans group gave me.

IMG_0935.thumb.jpg.a5d085db0559eac58c7bfbfc90cff952.jpg

IMG_0946.thumb.jpg.55eeffb5739196b6d2c7c3aac176290a.jpg

Link to comment
  • Admin

That's definitely a unique way to come out, Maddie.  That took courage, so my bonnet is off to you.  It also took courage (more than I ever had) to wear those shoes!  Thanks for sharing.

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I am proud of how brave you were to do it AND you look so good ...

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Maddie what a cool story!  You are so good!  Thanks for sharing.  

Link to comment

Thank you my lovely forum lady friends :)

 

Heels aren't usually  my thing.  But these were such a nice glitzy gift from my old friend the shoe collector...had to wear them for something special!!  I since passed the pair along.

Several female cast members complimented how well I got around on them  for two weeks in the dark, crowded halls, stairs and stage. 

 

For this production I played bass guitar, and also synth cello parts using an electroharmonix microsynth

 

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Forum Moderator

She is quite the spitfire isn't she.

Link to comment

Things have moved on.  Since 2016 I would present femme for certain side gigs.   It's tricky.   When I need a little extra I have a tendency to sing like I have giant balls.  Curbing that now.  Might cause leaks...

 

I usually perform places that are opportunity, but might not be considered accepting.   But that's exactly what I need if I'm going to play out this hand as a girl.  If I can make it out there, there'll be plenty of time to play for audiences who are indifferent or conditioned to embrace the rainbow.   I need to be honed in a different fire than theatre gigs and hip collegy protest venues.    I started out teens/20s with little bows in my long curly hair playing rough bars, and for mc clubs .  I wore super tight pants and silk shirts and hung around outlaw girlfriends.  A sissy joke.  Once I was surrounded alone and they dropped a festival tent on me after a long day.   Didn't do much about it  that day.  Guys in bars would play with me or even try to intimidate me, this brought out very masculine traits in me, and in the end subdued my expression for a long time. 

 

I stopped doing my main gig last year.  I was doing a solo Johnny Cash trip on gtr and voc.  Busy.  Since performing that was my business, I didn't fully transition in the workplace.  Yet.   Just acting like someone believeable in that Johnny role had an effect on other people.   This made me miserable because it wasn't who I needed people to see me as.   Disconnection, like I think most of us here feel about our life acting out our gender assigned at birth.   I was not embraced and encouraged to be myself by family, friends, or colleagues.  And I haven't always been the most embracing and encouraging person either!

 

I like Johnny Cash fine but never fanatic.  It was just bookable.  Over 2000 shows of just that act.  And now I can't remember those songs. Changes!

 

I played some songs at a park memorial 2 wks ago, and again yesterday I did a set on a patio at a lake bar for a graduation.  Mix of cover material, both male and female artists.  People are seeing me different and the doors will be open.   Physical changes from lifestyle and HRT are helping.  So are flat shoes.  Sweat is not helping. 

 

People out there who aren't trans supporters do and will come around to me.  If me and my friends stop outing myself, alot of folks won't even notice in the first place.

  

I see rough and wonderful times ahead.  Lord light my way I will go.  Angel sentinels ride with me.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Angel sentinels are riding with you. I love your determination and acceptance of the work you have to go through to educate people and win them over and I am envious of your ability to perform frequently and that certainly molds you as a performer and should bring internal joy. I wish I had your drive girl. You are doing well and you should be emencely proud of yourself and if you aren't you should be.

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
12 hours ago, Ms Maddie said:

I see rough and wonderful times ahead.  Lord light my way I will go.  Angel sentinels ride with me.

There are always rough times but its how we respond to them that makes or breaks us.  You're doing well and will continue to do so.  Your Angels are with you always.

 

Hugs, Jani 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 225 Guests (See full list)

    • Ashley0616
    • missyjo
    • Evelyn J
    • MaybeRob
    • RaineOnYourParade
    • MaeBe
    • Betty K
    • Abigail Genevieve
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,033
    • Most Online
      8,356

    ArtavikenGenderflui
    Newest Member
    ArtavikenGenderflui
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. afraid of self
      afraid of self
    2. Chaidoesart
      Chaidoesart
      (14 years old)
    3. Faith57
      Faith57
    4. Joyce Ann
      Joyce Ann
      (70 years old)
    5. Kelly21121
      Kelly21121
      (56 years old)
  • Posts

    • RaineOnYourParade
      When I first started figuring things out, I got a lot more euphoria. Every time a friend would use he/they pronouns for me, I'd get this bubbly feeling, and seeing myself look masculine made me really happy. Dysphoric state felt more normal, so I guess I noticed the pain it caused me less.   Now, it's more just that my pronouns and such things feel natural, and dysphoria is a lot stronger -- I know what's natural, so experiencing the opposite is more jarring than everything. The problem is, most of my natural experiences are from friends, and I rarely get properly gendered by strangers, much less by my family. I've found myself unable to bind in months due to aches, colds,, and not wanting to risk damage.    It partially makes me want to go back to the beginning of my journey, because at least then I got full euphoria. I'm pretty sure it'll be like this until I medically transition, or at the very least get top surgery (you know all those trans dudes online with tiny chests? Not me, unfortunately). It's a bit depressing, but at least I know that, eventually, there's a way out of this.
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Major mood, right here ^^^    I've listened to Lumineers to a long time (a major portion of it by osmosis via my mom), so that is almost painfully relatable
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As for getting a button-up/formal pants suit, you can try to talk to her more -- Cis women in tuxes have worn tuxes in recent years, after all, (for example, Zendaya) so it can still be a relatively safe topic. For jumpsuits, I'd recommend going with a simple one with a blazer, if you can -- this'll make it look overall more masculine. There's a lot of good brands, but going for one without a lot of extra glitz on it will make it look less feminine under a blazer. I don't know many specific brands though since I usually just get my stuff from chain stores, sorry :<   When it comes to your hair, if you can't cut it, you can look up tutorials on fluffing it up instead. If you can pull it off, it can look a lot shorter and more androgynous instead!
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As far as I'm aware, he wasn't -- he just sometimes wore skirts, which was why it was a question in the first place.   In my opinion, part of that is because of the way press spares attention on issues like that. As a bit of a true crime nut and what I see: Child predator cases' (and cases of a sexual nature in general) press focus on those with an AMAB perpetrator generally, and very rarely are AFAB perpetrators given much press time or even getting tried due to a whole bunch of issues I'm not gonna get into. Because of this, when you see these types of cases and a boy is the victim, it's almost always a queer person who is the one who committed a crime that gets press. Therefore, with the amount of cases seen with this type of perpetrator (and due to the fact "99% of queer people are not sexual criminals" doesn't attract eyes), the human brain can kind of naturally makes an association with it. It's not right, but it's also a fault I think falls partially on the media.   That's all my opinion, though!   This is extra confusing to me, as a feminine man is usually viewed as gay. If someone is refusing the acknowledge the existence of trans people, then gay would be the societal connection that comes after, I think. So, that sorta implies that trans women wouldn't be interested in women in the first place by those assumptions? Of course, trans lesbians exist (most trans women I know like women, actually), but it's a little ridiculous to me that people will deny trans people's existence, call all feminine AMAB people gay, and say that trans people are looking to peep all in the same breath.   Wow, this was a lot longer of a response than I was planning to write--
    • Abigail Genevieve
      For one thing, the practice of putting into office wholly unqualified people simply because of racial, sexual or national characteristics.  It is no accident that Karine is a Haitian immigrant, Black and lesbian.  Kamala Harris is a Black female. Pete Buttigieg is gay.  Often you find that Biden explicitly stated that this is why he hired them, not because of competence, but because they checked so many boxes on his little list.  It makes a mockery of people and is a disservice to the US. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I am not sure why people are in favor of unaccountable agencies with bloated budgets and wasteful spending. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      What about it?
    • SydneyAngel
      Hey girl  I had a problem like you happen to me also. In my first year of estrogen I had a period where my level were good then they got really bad where my testosterone spike high.  I felt like you with all that disforia coming hard. Our bodies need time to adjust. The process is a real pain in the beginning. It levels out eventually and you don't even think about it. Hang in there hugs 
    • Ivy
      Biden's woke agenda?
    • KatieSC
      I wonder if there will be law enforcement procedural shows coming this fall. I can imagine Law and Order: Genital Crimes Unit, or perhaps, FBI: Domestic Genitalia. Then again, maybe they will dedicate a CSI program about the dedicated members of the Oklahoma State Police Genital Screening Unit. Good to know that those Oklahomans have their priorities squared away.
    • KatieSC
      Protections? Well, when they mandate that some who is transgender can get facial and genital electrolysis paid as it is essential to affirming care, or when they mandate and pay for facial feminization surgery, speech therapy/voice affirmation surgery, I will believe that the order is effective. One of biggest hurdles for many transgender individuals is the cost of care. I remember when my one insurance company tried to say that my speech therapy and voice surgery were "cosmetic". I remember when they blocked paying for my facial surgery. I remember the fight I had to get electrolysis. These procedures could save someone's life if the procedures help the individual successfully transition, and are no longer misgendered. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I don't think it should be.  Nor do I see Project 2025 as pushing Christian nationalism.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The agencies are supposed to work for him.  The problem, as conservatives found out in Trump 1, was they will ignore the president and do their own thing.  The agencies are supposed to be under his control.   Congress delegated some of its law making authority to the agencies, which is another problem.   The bloated federal government needs to be trimmed.  Dept Education is worthless - test scores have dropped since it was instituted in the Carter administration consistently, and it is currently implementing Biden's woke agenda more than doing anything else.
    • FinnyFinsterHH
      I hope to eventually wear a suit for dance but don't know what exactly to look for. I feel like jumpsuit is safe option but I have been interested in wearing button up and formal pants. Is there a certain brand i should look for or sites I should look at for tips? My mom is not exactly keen on me wearing too masc clothing like suits just yet but is okay with jumpsuits. Also is there hair styling tips availible, my hair looks like image below. I might be able to get shorter haircut like pixie but am not sure yet.  
    • MaeBe
      It’s never been about him, but he is the Presidential nominee for the Presidency that starts in…2025. I don’t see a lot of conflation that this is a “Trump doctrine”, it a doctrine that benefits him surely, but it is a plan to instill crony governance and enact very Christian conservative (if not purely Christian nationalist) “order” on the country. If you don’t see this as the Right doubling down on Big G government, I don’t know what to tell them. Getting rid of agencies and giving the authority directly to the Executive isn’t shrinking government. It’s consolidation power. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...