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By Heather Shay · Posted
@Mealainithank you for joining and let me applaud you on surviving and growing into the true YOU. Based on your recommendation I just ordered thebook you mention. I came to stop lying to myself and started embracing myself at the ripe young age of y68 and again applaud you. Well done.I'm so glad you are here and healing. -
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By Lydia_R · Posted
I played that Herbie Hancock Sextant recording I posted yesterday for my roommate and his first response to it was that it sounded like music from a porn flick. I've heard that before, but I don't make that association at all. I get a very mystic feeling from it. I've been digging this now: The lazy feel of it. I enjoy improvising melodies and chords over it on the piano. I get this vision of a lazy dystopian future of rustic decaying cities. I'll sit on my mexican yoga blanket on the floor with my 5 gallon water bottle, simple pine board, coffee cup and nice pair of 747 drum sticks with a wood tip that I've had for 20-30 years. I've been wearing my flowy long Indian patterned skirts again instead of the pencil skirts so that I can easily sit down on the blanket. "Now there's 3 of them laughing 'round the radio." -
By Lydia_R · Posted
Most jobs in and out of the military have a physical aspect to them. As a musician in the Navy, I have moved gear all over the world. I almost got killed from an anvil amp rack case falling off the side of a Navy destroyer at night, in the rain, falling on the small boat we were on in rough water. It fell right on the plexiglass windshield of the boat. I got a lot of crap from members of the band for being such a lightweight. I weighed 120 pounds until I was 35 and I still only weigh 132 pounds. They interpreted that as being weak, but with my strong will, strong cardiovascular system, and strong legs from being a bicycle commuter, I was able to do almost anything the bigger people could. And I'm probably in much better shape than they are now. I've been going on 5 hour bicycle rides lately. One point is though that the military is a job, much like any other job. -
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By April Marie · Posted
Good morning, everyone! Back to a semi-normal routine after the short vacay. We picked up our dog at the "spa" yesterday so she was very attentive last night. And, awake early but I managed to get her back to sleep for a few more hours. I have an appointment at 8 to have the damage to my truck appraised after yesterday's accident. Hopefully, it's just cosmetic and there was no damage to the frame. And, I've got a session with my therapist later this morning, too. This afternoon will just be some small projects I need to catch up on. Have a wonderful day, everyone!! -
By Willow · Posted
Good morning it’s Wednesday morning 3AM. Which reminds me of a Simon and Garfunkel song. But I won’t go there. I have a lot on my plate this morning. Waffles - check, OJ - check, morning meds - check, coffee - double check, lunch made -check. But the real work is yet to come that starts at 4:15. I’ve got a lot going on today over and above the usual 4:15 shift. And somehow, I have to get the Asst Mgr to do some of the work for me. That’s never fun, she and I don’t always see eye to eye. She’d rather tell me what I did wrong or didn’t do verses help or show me the correct way. Her status could be a topic for the May 23 meeting since I know the manager was pretty upset with her yesterday and she had a talk with the District manager about it. well I had a Snoopy picture I tried to copy here but it got lost in the bits and bytes somewhere. Time to shower and get dressed. Long day ahead likely greater than 8 hours but I’ve got time available in my hours per week. -
By KayC · Posted
Braised short-ribs with all the fixin's (potatoes, onions, garlic, and celery) and homemade brown gravy - Leftovers from 2-nights ago, but even better 2nd time around (I wonder why that is?) -
By KayC · Posted
I saw this on Erin's blog post too. I definitely think this a BIG positive, but you're right @Carolyn Marie. Now-a-days you never know how the World will get turned upside-down. -
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By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted
I have never been in the military, but my husband was in the National Guard. Sometimes I wonder, based on the few things he tells me, how some of the "demands of military service" might be somewhat artificial. For example, the military won't allow a man who is missing a testicle (like from an accident) to serve. Even though a man with only one testicle still has all functions and plenty of testosterone. So, why that requirement? Seems like banning trans folks is similar, in that there's no particular physical reason. Also, some requirements are detrimental to the physical health of many people in the services. Soldiers end up with back issues from carrying too much. My husband has a bad disc in his back, primarily from service. Even military medical personnel and researchers have talked about this sort of preventable injury for a long time. Not everybody is in the special forces, or even in the infantry. Even if trans folks have some sort of physical weakness compared to others, surely there are still plenty of duties they can perform? I would be interested to know the experiences of some of our military members on this forum - how much physical exertion and risk was actually necessary for fulfilling your duties? How much difference is there in exertion/risk between one MOS and another? -
By Sally Stone · Posted
Post 9 “The Jersey Years” If it wasn’t for the property taxes, I’d still be living in New Jersey. The state gets such a bad rap but it is actually a beautiful place, with lots to do, and it is extremely trans friendly. Moving to New Jersey was quite uplifting from a trans perspective. Because of my new and very flexible work schedule, I was suddenly getting a lot more time to express my feminine side, and I took every opportunity to do so. Additionally, I became a member of a trans dinner group. It was the perfect way to meet other trans women, and I made quite a few friends. The dinner group was actually a throwback from a time when going out dressed as a woman was still something of a novelty, and it was created as a safe haven for girls that still weren’t comfortable being out in the world by themselves. When the group was formed, it was a necessary resource, but that need waned over the years, and it morphed into more of a social group. It still occasionally served its designed purpose as we often had newcomers just emerging from the closet, but for most of us it was an opportunity to get together and catch up. The move to New Jersey also coincided with an important trans milestone for me. I made the decision to keep my legs shaved. This wasn’t a decision I came to easily. It meant I was going against my wife’s wishes. While she had always been supportive of me, shaving my legs was just a “bridge to far” for her. I honestly believe, that in her mind, dressing like a woman was always a temporary thing, but shaving my legs, well, that was more of a permanent condition, and I think it scared her. To me, shaving was a rite of passage. I had made the decision to be a woman part time, but I wanted something exclusively feminine to signify my inner woman, even when I wasn’t presenting as a woman. Finally, I decided not to wait any longer, and in deference to my wife’s concerns, I started shaving my legs regularly. For the longest time, she remained unhappy about my decision, and while there were times, I thought about giving in just to keep the peace, I stayed the course I had plotted. Over time, my smooth legs became less and less of an issue, and now it’s been ten-years since I last had hair on my legs. Thankfully, my smooth legs are no longer much of a concern for my wife, and now, I can’t imagine ever going back. So, how does a part-time woman who isn’t stealthy by most measures, get along so well in the world? In two words it’s attitude and mannerisms. At one of the Keystone Conferences, I kept noticing another trans woman always staring at me. At the time, I didn’t know her but the attention she was paying me was becoming borderline creepy. Later, while I was sitting at the hotel bar enjoying a cocktail, this same woman took the empty seat next to me. Before I could decide whether to stay or leave, she turned to me, introduced herself, and then apologized for her stares. She went on to tell me she was staring at me because I intrigued her. She told me that of all the people she had met or observed during the conference, I was the most “girly” (her words, not mine). She said if it wasn’t for my height, she’d never have guessed that I was trans, because I had the poise, attitude and mannerisms of a very feminine woman. I met another girl through the dinner group, who was living fulltime and preparing for GRS. She and I became the best of friends, a bond I believe was formed over us both serving in the military. Often, she would comment on how authentic I was. She would always tell me I was so feminine and womanly; I could easily go fulltime. There have been other acquaintances who made similar comments, and the truth is I could probably live my life as a woman without too much trouble. The thing is, I don’t want to. Yes, I thoroughly enjoy being a woman, and when I am, I am quite convincing, but that doesn’t mean I’d be truly happy. If I had never met my wife, and didn’t have two super great kids, and I didn’t enjoy being a guy, perhaps I would have given serious consideration to transitioning. Maybe I’m just selfish, but I want to walk in both worlds, male and female, and I see nothing that should prevent me from doing so. Does my part-time life make me any less a woman. If how much of a woman I am was measured by how much time I spend expressing that part of my personality, then yes, I probably could be considered less of a woman. But it wouldn’t change at all how much of a woman my feminine half is. Her time for self-expression is limited yes, but when she’s out, she’s every bit the woman anyone else is. Hugs, Sally -
By Adrianna Danielle · Posted
Meeting up with a therapist I seen back in 2001.Seen I am better,saw her after being honorable discharged from the Army.I was beaten up and sexually assaulted by a fellow soldier.Nothing was done about it and did report it.It put a toll on me.Was 22 at the time and we did not get along at times,bullied me too. -
By Adrianna Danielle · Posted
Army doing 4 years,I ended up be discharged after my 4 years were up.Another guy in the same unit I was in beat the crap out of me including sexual assaulting me.Nothing was done about it,reported it and it put a toll on me.Had anxiety issues which I did get help and did recover from it
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