Fear of being seen by people in the neighborhood.

[Moira Arista]

I have this irrational fear of being seen as my female self by people in my neighborhood. I live in a association where you see your neighbors daily. I've had a few times when I was caught off guard by a neighbor walking past my sidewalk. I had my bra and fake breasts in and I  saw them coming toward me and spun around so fast it damn near gave me vertigo. I dash in my house instantly when this happens. I'm so fearful as to what they say about me. I'm in a state where housing for Trans people is not guaranteed. I don't want the neighborhood to rally together against me. 

[Heather Shay]

Do whatever is SAFE for you - I live in an ultra "45" (I won't use his name - the guy hiding in the Whitehouse) city and the best I'm willing to do is jeans and lady t-shirts on the outside but all woman underneath.... it's the only way to be safe here.

[Moira Arista]

I will sometimes whip around and discreetly remove the girls and then walk out to my car with them under my arm. Or I will put them in a back pack and then put them in when I leave in my car. 

[AmberM]

@Mahaney I have the same fear still living in a city where there is anti discrimination laws in place, so I get it. My therapist has been challenging me to push myself and go out and do stuff like the dog out dressed. I have survived a couple of times in a more feminine top and capris, and that is about it so far. It is going to take time to build up your confidence to be able to face your neighbors.

[Heather Shay]

Wise Words @QuestioningAmber -c I totally agree with QuestionAmber - @Mahaney build your confidence - I know when I get depressed and over whelmed - I stop and take 1 small step and then another small step. Try something little and build on it.

[ValerieRun]

Being through similar fears before, I can attest that starting small and continuing to expand is a very good option to eventually come to terms with the feeling. Fear might not disappear but it becomes just another “noise in the wind”. It is truly remarkable what human beings can get used to if it’s repeated enough times ?

Specifically to the topic of clothes, androgynous look is something that seems to be accepted everywhere nowadays, and I noticed absolutely no reaction from strangers even when I thought I was dressed so different from my usual style. Slowly incorporating new elements one a time will give opportunity for you (primarily) and others to adjust and take that for granted. For example, I am to a point of always carrying a purse or clutch  no matter the presentation. 
 

Good luck.

[Emily michelle]

For quite a while I was really concerned how people would see me around my home. Now I’m pretty much at the point I don’t care. It does help I’m starting to get some more allies in my corner that have said they will stick up for me. It’s also in my head I can’t dress male outside of work because it really bothers me. I know I still have short hair and don’t pass but I just can’t continue to be two people.

[Jani]

6 hours ago, Emily michelle said:

For quite a while I was really concerned how people would see me around my home. Now I’m pretty much at the point I don’t care.

I believe this is common, as we become more comfortable in our own skin.  Good for you.