Hello, my name is Katherine

[Katherine1745]

Hello, my name is Katherine.

 

I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria several months ago at the ripe old age of 67.

 

Heaven knows, if I had known that I was transgender, I would have saved thousands of dollars and would have transitioned from male to female at least 35 years ago.  I did not know what was causing my depression, but I hated my body and did not recognize myself in the mirror and hated my genitals.

 

When I finally came out to my wife of 43 years, she abandoned me and hired a lawyer and filed for a divorce.

 

I got the divorce notice, when I was fighting for my life in the hospital with Stage IV Congestive Heart Failure and Stage III Kidney Failure.

 

What great timing on her part...NOT!!

 

I have not spoken to her since the Covid lockdown and my two sons put me in to an assisted-living facility here in Portland, Oregon.

 

I feel like I have been put into solidrltary confinement for being honest with myself and others.

 

I have started to come out socially with some family and close friends, but no one else.

 

I am pre-everything right now and will slowly at my own pace become more of me as a female and living a life as my true self.

 

I am letting my hair and nails grow out while awaiting for the divorce being final in March 2021.

 

I have yet to buy any clothes, shoes or jewelry as I do not drive any more due to my limited vision and have to rely on others or public transportation to get me around town.

 

I have done alot of soul-searching since I was diagnosed and feel like I am very alone in my journey.

 

I have been looking for support groups for the older gal like me, but find very little on the web.

 

Any help is needed, even Zoom groups would help.

 

I feel scared, mixed up and have very little confidence in myself.

 

Yes, I will have to have all of the surgeries as my dysphoria is out of control right now.  My voice is now in the second sub-basement in pitch and must be changed.

 

Please keep me in your thoughts.

 

Katherine1745

[MaryEllen]

Hello Katherine,

 

Welcome to TransPulse.  Feel free to ask any questions you may have. We're here to help. 

 

MaryEllen

[Katherine1745]

22 minutes ago, MaryEllen said:

Hello Katherine,

 

Welcome to TransPulse.  Feel free to ask any questions you may have. We're here to help. 

 

MaryEllen

Thank you. Mary Ellen.  My brain is so screwed up right now.  

[Elizabeth Star]

Hi Katherine, nice to meet you.

[Ivy]

Hi Katherine, welcome.

[Astrid]

As someone who came out at 69, 2 1/2 years ago, it's certainly possible at an older age to move forward with your journey to a happier place. It takes lots of small steps but they add up.

 

With best wishes, 

 

Astrid 

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, Astrid said:

As someone who came out at 69, 2 1/2 years ago, it's certainly possible at an older age to move forward with your journey to a happier place. It takes lots of small steps but they add up.

Yes.  I came out at 68 myself and have been on HRT for a couple of years.  The changes are slower, but they are real.

[Confused1]

Hi Katherine,

 

Welcome to TransPulse. You are not alone and you will find some friendly people here that can help answer some of your questions. I found out I was transgender early this year at 64 years old. I am non binary and didn't feel comfortable with my extra parts most of my life either.

 

I had to fight cancer a second time at about the same time this year myself.

 

Mike

[Heather Shay]

@Katherine1745 welcome. I got you bet by a year. I'm 68 and started HRT a couple months ago. It is so sad about your wife and I am just starting with my wife of 28 years and I don't know how it will go.

You have found a wonderful place and there are many ladies in our age range who have embraced me and comforted me and helped me because they know what you and I are going through. Try to write often and explore the various topics.

You have found sanctuary and friends who will give you unconditional love.

Heather Shay

[Berni]

Hi @Katherine1745, Goodness me, you've had a tough time of it haven't you. You've found a wonderful community with lots of people willing to listen. Welcome!

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Katherine,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

You're not alone anymore. I've found this place to be a lifesaver. You'll find a lot of understanding and caring here.

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf ?

[Cyndee]

Welcome Katherine , I hope you enjoy your time with us

 

Hugs

 

Cyndee

[KayC]

Hi @Katherine1745!  nice to meet you, and Welcome! 
You probably already realize you've found a source of great experience and support here.  I hope this gives you some comfort.

I am so sorry your marriage had to end the way it did, but it does give you an opportunity to move forward now.  I hope you can connect with a gender therapist or support group in your area.  There are resources to find those.
If you are a veteran(?) the VA also has great resources, and we have Members here who have used their services.  Here is the link for the Resources page on this Forum - https://www.transgenderpulse.com/resource-locator/

Its never too late to move your Life in the direction its intended to be.  Deep breaths ... one step at a time❣️

[Lee H]

Hi Katherine

I'm so glad you're here. Your message has brought hope to me:

On 9/7/2020 at 3:05 PM, Katherine1745 said:

I am pre-everything right now and will slowly at my own pace become more of me as a female and living a life as my true self.

Me too, but the thing I appreciate most is that your message generated replies from some other old fogies like me. I'm 76, and just starting HRT, I hope. Not prescribed yet, but the "Gender team" in my local VA seems encouraging.

 

Being served with a divorce filing while lying in ICU sucks, big time. It's usually not a happy occasion, but she sure could have made her particular timing a hell of a lot better. Pretty cold shot -- bummer. 

 

On 9/7/2020 at 3:05 PM, Katherine1745 said:

my two sons put me in to an assisted-living facility here in Portland, Oregon.

 

My circumstances are a little bit similar. I live alone in an old trailer in a small northern Nevada town, Fallon. 60 miles east of Reno, my home town. It's what I could afford.

 

On 9/7/2020 at 3:05 PM, Katherine1745 said:

 

I have done alot of soul-searching since I was diagnosed and feel like I am very alone in my journey.

 

I have been looking for support groups for the older gal like me, but find very little on the web.

 

In large measure, I counteract my feelings of isolation by being active on this Forum, and in Zoom recovery groups, including one with members from this Forum: tgAA. For me, this computer screen is like a window out into the world. For sure, the path we're on is wide and well-traveled. Everyone sees different scenery along the way, and many talk about their own journey on this Forum. Check it out, and please, don't just lurk. Us wanna-be/gonna-be old ladies need each other, and we really do have a lot in common to talk about. 

Hope to become your friend --

~~Lee~~

 

 

 

[Guest]

Welcome, Katherine! 

Hugs! 

[Reverie_Star]

Hi Katherine,

From another Katherine. I hope you find what you need to move forward and be the best you, you can be.

[GraceH]

Hi Katherine,

 

You mentioned your voice.  Changing your voice is more of a physical skill than something that can be fixed by hormones or surgery.

 

I really like this channel (TransVoiceLessons), in which the trans person gives lessons about changing your voice.

 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBYlEnfAUbrYSwF0VujcmHA

 

And yes, this site (transgenderpulse) is populated by mature people, so I hope you feel comfortable here.

 

--Grace

 

[Heather Shay]

@sleepinflamewise words and I agree with voice - I use the VOICE CONSULTANT YouTube Channel she has 6 part series on transgender voice feminizing and she is wonderful - coupled with Voice Pitch Analzer app and VOICE TOOLS app and PITCH app and use my old vocal lessons to help stretch and warm up my high end of my voice. IT WORKS.