Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Hello, my name is Katherine


Katherine1745

Recommended Posts

Hello, my name is Katherine.

 

I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria several months ago at the ripe old age of 67.

 

Heaven knows, if I had known that I was transgender, I would have saved thousands of dollars and would have transitioned from male to female at least 35 years ago.  I did not know what was causing my depression, but I hated my body and did not recognize myself in the mirror and hated my genitals.

 

When I finally came out to my wife of 43 years, she abandoned me and hired a lawyer and filed for a divorce.

 

I got the divorce notice, when I was fighting for my life in the hospital with Stage IV Congestive Heart Failure and Stage III Kidney Failure.

 

What great timing on her part...NOT!!

 

I have not spoken to her since the Covid lockdown and my two sons put me in to an assisted-living facility here in Portland, Oregon.

 

I feel like I have been put into solidrltary confinement for being honest with myself and others.

 

I have started to come out socially with some family and close friends, but no one else.

 

I am pre-everything right now and will slowly at my own pace become more of me as a female and living a life as my true self.

 

I am letting my hair and nails grow out while awaiting for the divorce being final in March 2021.

 

I have yet to buy any clothes, shoes or jewelry as I do not drive any more due to my limited vision and have to rely on others or public transportation to get me around town.

 

I have done alot of soul-searching since I was diagnosed and feel like I am very alone in my journey.

 

I have been looking for support groups for the older gal like me, but find very little on the web.

 

Any help is needed, even Zoom groups would help.

 

I feel scared, mixed up and have very little confidence in myself.

 

Yes, I will have to have all of the surgeries as my dysphoria is out of control right now.  My voice is now in the second sub-basement in pitch and must be changed.

 

Please keep me in your thoughts.

 

Katherine1745

Link to comment
  • Root Admin

Hello Katherine,

 

Welcome to TransPulse.  Feel free to ask any questions you may have. We're here to help.  :)

 

MaryEllen

Link to comment
22 minutes ago, MaryEllen said:

Hello Katherine,

 

Welcome to TransPulse.  Feel free to ask any questions you may have. We're here to help.  :)

 

MaryEllen

Thank you. Mary Ellen.  My brain is so screwed up right now.  

Link to comment

As someone who came out at 69, 2 1/2 years ago, it's certainly possible at an older age to move forward with your journey to a happier place. It takes lots of small steps but they add up.

 

With best wishes, 

 

Astrid 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Astrid said:

As someone who came out at 69, 2 1/2 years ago, it's certainly possible at an older age to move forward with your journey to a happier place. It takes lots of small steps but they add up.

Yes.  I came out at 68 myself and have been on HRT for a couple of years.  The changes are slower, but they are real.

Link to comment

Hi Katherine,

 

Welcome to TransPulse. You are not alone and you will find some friendly people here that can help answer some of your questions. I found out I was transgender early this year at 64 years old. I am non binary and didn't feel comfortable with my extra parts most of my life either.

 

I had to fight cancer a second time at about the same time this year myself.

 

Mike

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Katherine1745 welcome. I got you bet by a year. I'm 68 and started HRT a couple months ago. It is so sad about your wife and I am just starting with my wife of 28 years and I don't know how it will go.

You have found a wonderful place and there are many ladies in our age range who have embraced me and comforted me and helped me because they know what you and I are going through. Try to write often and explore the various topics.

You have found sanctuary and friends who will give you unconditional love.

Heather Shay

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Katherine,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

You're not alone anymore. I've found this place to be a lifesaver. You'll find a lot of understanding and caring here.

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf ?

Link to comment

Hi @Katherine1745!  nice to meet you, and Welcome! 
You probably already realize you've found a source of great experience and support here.  I hope this gives you some comfort.

I am so sorry your marriage had to end the way it did, but it does give you an opportunity to move forward now.  I hope you can connect with a gender therapist or support group in your area.  There are resources to find those.
If you are a veteran(?) the VA also has great resources, and we have Members here who have used their services.  Here is the link for the Resources page on this Forum - https://www.transgenderpulse.com/resource-locator/

Its never too late to move your Life in the direction its intended to be.  Deep breaths ... one step at a time❣️

Link to comment

Hi Katherine

I'm so glad you're here. Your message has brought hope to me:

On 9/7/2020 at 3:05 PM, Katherine1745 said:

I am pre-everything right now and will slowly at my own pace become more of me as a female and living a life as my true self.

Me too, but the thing I appreciate most is that your message generated replies from some other old fogies like me. I'm 76, and just starting HRT, I hope. Not prescribed yet, but the "Gender team" in my local VA seems encouraging.

 

Being served with a divorce filing while lying in ICU sucks, big time. It's usually not a happy occasion, but she sure could have made her particular timing a hell of a lot better. Pretty cold shot -- bummer. 

 

On 9/7/2020 at 3:05 PM, Katherine1745 said:

my two sons put me in to an assisted-living facility here in Portland, Oregon.

 

My circumstances are a little bit similar. I live alone in an old trailer in a small northern Nevada town, Fallon. 60 miles east of Reno, my home town. It's what I could afford.

 

On 9/7/2020 at 3:05 PM, Katherine1745 said:

 

I have done alot of soul-searching since I was diagnosed and feel like I am very alone in my journey.

 

I have been looking for support groups for the older gal like me, but find very little on the web.

 

In large measure, I counteract my feelings of isolation by being active on this Forum, and in Zoom recovery groups, including one with members from this Forum: tgAA. For me, this computer screen is like a window out into the world. For sure, the path we're on is wide and well-traveled. Everyone sees different scenery along the way, and many talk about their own journey on this Forum. Check it out, and please, don't just lurk. Us wanna-be/gonna-be old ladies need each other, and we really do have a lot in common to talk about. 

Hope to become your friend --

~~Lee~~

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Katherine,

From another Katherine. I hope you find what you need to move forward and be the best you, you can be.

Link to comment

Hi Katherine,

 

You mentioned your voice.  Changing your voice is more of a physical skill than something that can be fixed by hormones or surgery.

 

I really like this channel (TransVoiceLessons), in which the trans person gives lessons about changing your voice.

 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBYlEnfAUbrYSwF0VujcmHA

 

And yes, this site (transgenderpulse) is populated by mature people, so I hope you feel comfortable here.

 

--Grace

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@sleepinflamewise words and I agree with voice - I use the VOICE CONSULTANT YouTube Channel she has 6 part series on transgender voice feminizing and she is wonderful - coupled with Voice Pitch Analzer app and VOICE TOOLS app and PITCH app and use my old vocal lessons to help stretch and warm up my high end of my voice. IT WORKS.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 113 Guests (See full list)

    • RaineOnYourParade
    • JessicaMW
    • Betty K
    • Susie
    • kristinabee
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      769.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,057
    • Most Online
      8,356

    kristinabee
    Newest Member
    kristinabee
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Conner_Sent_By_Cyberlife
      Conner_Sent_By_Cyberlife
      (22 years old)
    2. CtN1p
      CtN1p
    3. heyim_finn
      heyim_finn
      (21 years old)
    4. Jayn
      Jayn
    5. joni_girl_1988
      joni_girl_1988
      (51 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ladypcnj
      Thanks Sally Stone
    • KymmieL
      Thanks, Mindy. It has been so far. Tomorrow, work some more on the wife's grand monkey. Got the right side of the hood primed, just need to do a little more work on the left then I can prime it. Then a 600grit wet sand.   I promised the wife we would take out the bike this weekend.   Kymmie
    • JessicaMW
      During my last visit with my psychologist (who has agreed to provide required letters of recommendation along with a colleague to provide the second) we discussed the shift towards my wife's acceptance. It was a long discussion but one point I mentioned was how much the two of us sitting down and watching this documentary helped:  The Kings | A transgender love story (2017)
    • Betty K
      Oops, I did not mean to post that comment yet! I was going to also say, having read a mountain of commentary on the Review, I think Julia Serano’s response (linked by Vicky above) is the most accurate and thorough. You can also read a non-paywalled version at Substack: https://juliaserano.substack.com/p/the-cass-review-wpath-files-and-the   To me the three key areas in which the review is deficient are:   1. As has already been said here, its views on social transition;   2. Its attempts to give credence to the “ROGD” theory (without ever actually mentioning ROGD because presumably a canny editor knows that would be too transparently transphobic);   3. To me, most crucially, its claims about trans youth and suicide, which are dealt with summarily in about five pages and do not stand up to any deeper scrutiny.    I will be writing about each of these issues in isolation over the next few weeks and appearing on a radio show and podcast to discuss them late in the month. I will post links to these on TP later if anyone is interested.   All that said, I actually think it’s dangerous for us to respond with outright vitriol and condemnation to the review since, like any effective piece of disinformation, it does actually contain some factually based and even helpful recommendations. The Tavistock Gender Identity Service really was underfunded and understaffed and certain staff were not adequately trained. Trans kids really were funnelled away from mental-health support once they started gender-affirming care too. So yes, more investment in youth psychology services would help, as would a less centralised model of care, more training in treatment of trans kids, and more research.   One last thing for now: beware the claim that Cass ignored 98% of studies. That’s not strictly true. She seems to have taken other studies into account but leaned heavily on the 2% that met her standards. Nor does she ever claim that only randomised controlled trials are good enough evidence to justify the use of blockers for kids; just as with ROGD, she strongly suggests this, but is too canny to say it, because she knows such trials would be impossible. For now, I think the best response to this comes from the Trans Safety Network: “[…] we believe there to be systemic biases in the ways that the review prioritises speculative and hearsay evidence to advance its own recommendations while using highly stringent evidence standards to exclude empirical and observational data on actual patients. “ (https://transsafety.network/posts/tsn-statement-on-cass-final-report/)   To me, the scariest aspect of all this is that, if it follows Cass’s recommendations, the NHS will very likely follow Finland’s recent model of trans care, which seems to amount to a prolonged form of conversion therapy. I can’t find the link right now, which is probably lucky for anyone reading this, but I bawled my guts out reading the testimonies of kids who had been mistreated by that system. Truly horrific. To me, at least from my Australian perspective, the Cass Review is the most frightening development in trans rights in recent years. To me, the safe care of trans kids is THE number one issue in politics atm.   Ruth Pierce has a good summary of responses from trans folk and their allies sk far: https://ruthpearce.net/2024/04/16/whats-wrong-with-the-cass-review-a-round-up-of-commentary-and-evidence/    
    • Sally Stone
      Welcome to the wide, wild world of transgender, M.A.  It can definitively be overwhelming, but everyone here is amazing, so no doubt you'll get bunches of wonderful support. I think you'll be happy you found us.   
    • Sally Stone
      @Ladypcnj  This is so true.  I think all of us here have had a post or two that didn't get a response.  Sometimes, it's as simple as adding to your original to post for a clearer explanation, or re-reading what you wrote originally, and rephrasing it.  But don't despair, we aren't ignoring you.   Hugs,   Sally 
    • Willow
      So, we left for lunch in our Taos, talked and went to the dealer and came home with the Cadillac.  
    • Betty K
      I have just finished reading the Cass Review, all 380-odd pages of it, and am totally open to questions including via DM if anyone wants more information on it
    • Abigail Genevieve
      What season are you?  If you don't know, look around on the internet. Or ask a girl friend..  Maybe someone here is even a color consultant?   And there are guides on figure-flattering clothes for all shapes that you should look into.    Abby
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Just know that your kids will probably turn out OK, in spite of the chaos.  One of my partners was widowed in her very early 30s, left with 3 kids.  They're teens now, and one graduated a year ago and is working, but still living at home.  A few bumps in the road, but the three are turning into responsible young adults.  It is amazing how resilient kids can be.  They should be able to handle your changes as well.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Had my time with my 2 long friends I was in the Army with.We went through the photo books and talked memories.They also found about the guy that bullied and sexually assaulted me.He is in prison,sexually assaulted and raped 2 women off base.Doing a 40 year sentence for this and was dishonorable discharged
    • Cindy Lee
      I've been transitioning now for eight months but have been wearing women's clothing for 2+ years. I am over weight and approaching my 72nd birthday. I have purchase my solid color clothing online and recently graduated to 'V' neck tops. I have been hesitant to get anything more girly due to family issues, though with my hair style I am able to totally pass when dressed in a skirt and blouse.   About two  months ago I finally went and got my nails done (which I truly which I had done long ago) though not red nor pink (again family issues). To date I don't think I am having problems with being trans unlike others seem to have. The biggest problem I am having is with my clothing. Any suggestions my girl friends might have would be greatly appreciated.   Cindy
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Umm.... if a post is ignored, live with it?   My stuff gets ignored sometimes, and its OK.  My life is different, and may seem kind of wacky to others.  Some folks just can't relate, or if I'm needing advice they just don't have it.  Diversity is like that sometimes.  If your post gets missed, don't take it personally.  Also, stuff that is new on weekends seems to get ignored more, since most folks are busy with family or other stuff during that time.  Overall, I think people here are pretty helpful. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I'd really love a professional stove.  There's actually one I want at Lowes, but its like $6k.  I've got plenty of money, the issue is that I'm not the queen (king?) of my den.  Or even of the kitchen.  My partner (husband's wife #1) owns that territory, and she's very attached to what she's got.  One of our stoves has 6 burners and a large oven, the other has 4 burners and a regular household sized oven.  And of course, there's always the wood-burning equipment.    Today was interesting.  We had the first campaign fundraiser for our sheriff and my sister.  My sister is running to be constable of our township.  Pretty sure she'll win, as her opponent is an old dude who is mostly running on "Don't elect a woman for a man's job"    What's weird is our sheriff is running as a Democrat, but he's conservative.  And his Republican opponent sounds like a leftist.  Welcome to Upside-down-ville   And of course all the kids got the chance to sit in a sheriff's car, and play with the lights.   We had a barbecue lunch and a dessert auction.  I baked three apple pies for it, and I was shocked that they sold for $20 each, since my cooking isn't that great.  My partner made her famous "Chocotorta."  It's like a chocolate layer cake with cream cheese, sweetened condensed milk, and it tastes amazing.  Usually we have it for Christmas and other really special occasions.  Two guys got into a bid war, and it sold for $175!!!    Yep, this is politics in the South.  Barbecue, pies, and police cars.  A great way to spend a Saturday
    • Davie
      Yes. That report is part of a conspiracy to torture and murder trans people. It is a lie. It is evil.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...