Am I a girl or do I just want to be a girl, and is that even a relevant question?

[Grum]

Hello! I am a 18 y/o assigned male at birth and I think I may be transgender. I frequently wear women's clothes, makeup, nail polish, feminine jewelry, etc.. For practically all quarantine locked up with myself I've been wishing I were a woman and continually making efforts to look more feminine and wish I had secondary and maybe even primary sex characteristics of a female. Recently this is practically all I can think about. Now I don't feel uncomfortable being referred to as he/him and feel varying levels of dysphoria on different parts of my body and at different times. But what I really need an answer to is: does my constant desire to be female make me transgender? or if i were trans wouldn't i just be female in my brain already not want to be female? 

 

P.S. 

Should I talk to a friends, therapist or both about this? because this has just been stewing in my head for months and I'm not getting very far on my own. 

 

Thank You 

<3

[Astrid]

2 hours ago, Grum said:

does my constant desire to be female make me transgender? or if i were trans wouldn't i just be female in my brain already not want to be female? 

Hi, Grum!

 

Your constant desire to be female is part of what makes you you.  It might be trans-related.  Don't worry about labels at this early stage.  Finding an experienced gender therapist is indeed very helpful in working through things.  

 

The media is full of many stories of trans people who knew from their earliest childhood that they were "in the wrong body".  But you don't have to have experienced that to be trans.  Many folks become aware of their gender dysphoria later in life, as you'll see as you look around this wonderful website.

 

Welcome to TransPulse, and feel free to ask questions.  There's lots of folks who are here to support each other and share their experiences.

 

With best wishes,

 

Astrid

[Heather Nicole]

Hi! I'm afraid I'm in no position to offer any answers since I'm pretty new to all this too. But I'm glad to see you here because it sounds like we definitely have a lot of similarities, and similar questions (Although I envy your age I have an additional 20 years on me at this point!!)

 

What I find striking is that I just happened to post a very similar question to yours only a few days ago. There don't seem to be any easy answers, from what I can tell, but I found the responses helpful. Hopefully it might be of help to you, too:

 

And welcome!

 

[Jackie C.]

Hey sweetie!

 

You should absolutely talk to a gender therapist. You're going to need to if you want to progress anyway, and it will give you peace of mind. Peace of mind is a good thing. Try it! You'll like it!

 

Hugs!

[A. Dillon]

One rule of thumb that I go by; cis people typically will not spend months questioning their gender. In any case, it is worth seeing a therapist, in my experience it gives you a lot of answers. For now just listen to your feelings (you know them to be true!) If you want to be addressed as female, ask people to address you as such. If you want to dress feminine, do it. Being trans isn't all about gender dysphoria, there is also gender euphoria, where just looking in the mirror while you pass as your preferred gender can plaster a giant grin on your face. Do what makes you happy, and then look at what makes you happier; living as male or female? If you want to be female, there is nothing stopping you from living your life. I relate a lot to the question of "am I trans, or do I just think being a guy would be cool", so if you would like to hear more about my perspective you can always message me. Happy travels...