Ok Then!

[HollyElizabeth]

Not sure where this goes so if it's in the wrong place, please move it as I would be grateful that it ends up where it belongs.. lol

 

OK then, I think my mom is starting to come around to my transitioning. Yesterday we went to Walmart and I said I really needed to look for stuff to wear. I didn't think I would find anything as I'm obese and I'm guessing that I'm still in the7-8x range. Walmart has been slowly getting rid of their big peoples clothing over the last several years and I have been losing weight but not quite fast enough that I can find anything to wear there. Anyway, mom actually helped me look for clothing that might fit. We couldn't find anything like I knew we wouldn't be able to, but she still picked out stuff for me. she even gave me words of encouragement that soon I would have lost enough weight that Walmart would be a viable option for me to cloths shop. And tonight she helped me pick out a wig that actually looked good on me. She even wants me to get protection in case I need it so I'm supposed to buy pepper spray. I'm not sure I would be comfortable with pepper spray but knowing that it can be dangerous for us right now, it might be an idea that I'm going to have to become comfortable with.

 

Anyway, I am floored that my mother is starting to see my transition as something I need to do ans is becoming more comfortable with the idea of me being a woman.Even my brother doesn't make the comments around me that he used to. My house is starting to settle down. One of the neighbors next to me saw me leaving and she did a double take. lol. I have to admit I do love when people get startled (not freaked out when they see me and realize that I used to be Michael and I am now Holy. The only bad thing is that she has two of the cutest daughters around the age of 4-5 and I don't want them to see me and have questions that their mother might not be able to answer. I don't have a problem trying to explain it to the girls but it's not my place and I don't think the mom is ready to have this discussion and I don't want to force it before the mom is ready. lol

 

Anyway, I wanted to say my mom is coming around. Maybe she will even start calling me Holly instead of Michael in a crowded store like Walmart. Yes I asked her to, said I will answer to Michael no matter how it makes me look like a crazy person. lol.  Well a girl can hope and I at least have goals. lol

[Heather Nicole]

I'm so happy for you! I dream of the day I can be comfortably "out" to my mother and see her comfortably accepting me as a female. As her female child. (I don't know about you, but for me, it's not even the personal acceptance, really, its just that any time I see my own mother struggling with anything related to me, it just breaks my heart. I feel that she has an even harder time with adversity than I do.)

[AmberM]

@HollyNoel It does sound like slow acceptance, which is the most we can ask for when someone we love is coming from an angle of not accepting us fro who we are. My mom and I had a long talk yesterday as it was the first time we have seen each other since coming out. It is going to be a journey. I am looking forward to the time when I will be able to go shopping as Amber with my mom, that sounds like it would be fun. I have hope that with time she will even flip from deadnaming you to calling you Holly.

[HollyElizabeth]

@Heathick No its the same with me, I hate seeing my mom hurting or being bothered by something I'm doing. But me not transitioning was causing a lot of my health issues like depression and not being able to lose the weight. The weight issue is a very serious health concern, I don't want to have a heart attack and or stroke, and I want my diabetes to finally go away. Being happy is way more important in my book. So I had to make the decision of my life or my mom being bothered with me becoming who I am.

[HollyElizabeth]

@QuestioningAmber Can I say that you are so pretty.

 

I hope the day when you and your mom has the kind of relationship of mother daughter. And yes, I'm looking forward to the day when mom stops "deadnaming" me but I've been Michael for 52 years and shes 72, Probably not going to ever happen and I really don't want to because a big blow up by trying to force the issue. If shes the only one that calls me Michael at this point, I'm going to put that in the win column. lol

 

Sometimes it's best to pick your battles and if I have to let her win the name thing then maybe I can win on the next thing I need. And having her help shopping for me is the better prize if you ask me. lol