What are you wearing today?

[Teri Anne]

Thanks Liz I'll go take a look at what they have.

 

[Mmindy]

19 hours ago, Teri Anne said:

Like I said I accept everyone and they are free to present anyway they wish.

Teri, I agree with your post, and accept everyone for who they want to be. I have started to wear and point out to my Suzie, others who are presenting variations of #LGBTQ jewelry, pins, or head bands. I also think that when we're in transition, we're more aware of those who are also expressing/signalling their involvement in the #LGBTQ community. I don't think of it as Clocking, and would never verbally call them out. Just a smile and nod. Although it was pointed out to me that the Head Nod was a male thing. I'm scratching my head on that one.???‍♀️

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy??️‍??

[Teri Anne]

The head nod is a male thing so just a smile works well.

Best to keep in mind not all trans people MtF want you to acknowledge you know they are trans.

Its a really precarious thing  do I acknowledge them as trans and say hi  or should I just not say anything?

I said hello to a trans girl at Target and complimented her on her shoes. Pretty tame compliment I thought.

Her friend went off on me and started making a scene.

Something about not respecting trans women as real women.

I never  thought complimenting a girl on her shoes was a bad thing.

I let it go and figured this friend was nuts or one of those hyper activist types.

It was pretty obvious then that I was trans and was trying to find my own way just like her friend.

Here is a pic I took that day prior to that incident and you can tell I was a newbie myself.

[Karma39]

I find myself going back and forth on a compliment often. It is a difficult judgement in the moment. I tend not to say anything if it is just another person in the same place, but if it is someone I have another reason to talk to then I am more willing to make the complement.

 

In the other direction I find this more common as well. I have been given compliments in this situation, but not as a person passing by. I ordered takeout the other day & the person who took my order pulled my name from my phone number which was not at all what I was wanting or expecting. When I went in to pickup I approached a lady there and not the man who took my order. He kept announcing the name he took repeatedly. The lady was very nice and gave me a big smile simply ignoring him the whole time. As she handed me my order she complimented me on my hair. I thanked her and smiled. I just left without any look or talk of the man.

 

This is just what I have encountered and you know you best.

[Karma39]

I know this thread is for today and I hope I am not showing bad form by posting what I will wear tomorrow.

 

I have laser tomorrow and I want to be comfortable so a T and Jeans it will be. I like Redbubble for graphic T's, not that I have many, but those I do are not designs found commonly. They are super friendly and open there and I have not worries about the T  design or me.

[Teri Anne]

Yeah sometimes its best to not say anything.

Yes it seems like a missed chance to make somebody's day or to make a new friend.

People are far too sensitive these days and take things the wrong way but you know thats on them IMO not me I can talk to anyone.

 

[Mmindy]

1 hour ago, Teri Anne said:

let it go and figured this friend was nuts or one of those hyper activist types

Teri, my daughter is a hyper activist, and loud about her cause of the day. On several occasions I’ve looked at her, and said don’t be so quick to escalate. You’re only drawing attention to yourself, and not the cause. I’ve always believed a civil tone, wins more debates, than a phone jerking look at me loud and proud action. 
 

Hugs and a smile ? 

[Teri Anne]

Mmindy thats a wise way to look at it.

Your daughter may find one day that the person she is barking at doesn't care about her cause and wouldn't think twice to hit her in the jaw. There are crazy people like that.

Best to be civil and understand not everyone has to agree with you and your beliefs.

If you try to talk out your differences both parties win. Its called understanding.

[April-Showers]

1 hour ago, Teri Anne said:

Yeah sometimes its best to not say anything.

Yes it seems like a missed chance to make somebody's day or to make a new friend.

People are far too sensitive these days and take things the wrong way but you know thats on them IMO not me I can talk to anyone.

many times non-verbal gestures are all it takes. the simplest is a smile. when you smile at someone chances are you will get one back. especially when it looks like someone really needs one. that truly can brighten a person's day! thank you....and keep smiling!  

[Vanessa Michelle]

Home alone today, so I decided to give myself a little euphoria by wearing some gender affirming clothing for once, and it feels good. ❤️

[Teri Anne]

I have found the loud super activist type that make a huge scene by yelling, screaming and demanding things makes it harder on the rest of us.

Its been 14 years and I have given a lot up to make my life the way I always wanted to be and did it all by being a good person to everyone I have met earning their respect not by being a loud bratty person demanding others bend to my will.

This generation seems to think they are the first and being trans is a new thing.

I grant you trans people have been on this planet a very long time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Teri Anne]

4 hours ago, Vanessa Michelle said:

Home alone today, so I decided to give myself a little euphoria by wearing some gender affirming clothing for once, and it feels good. ❤️

Ooo I like that outfit. Enjoy !

 

[Bri2020]

3 hours ago, Karma39 said:

 

 

I have laser tomorrow and I want to be comfortable so a T and Jeans it will be. 

I feel ya, Today was day 1 of electrolysis and tomorrow I go back for another hour. Trying to make up some lost time. I'm doing just a Miami Dolphins T-shirt and plain skort and tennis shoes cause I just can't bother trying to look pretty with all this beard. lol.  I love that Trans-dragon! Do you have a graphic file of that or any way I can get that put on something?

1 hour ago, Vanessa Michelle said:

Home alone today, so I decided to give myself a little euphoria by wearing some gender affirming clothing for once, and it feels good. ❤️

And....looks so cute!!  Great outfit!  I know @Elizabeth Starwould want that

 

As for all the talk of compliments- I'm a total extravert and I compliment almost every woman I meet nowadays. I will find something to compliment them on, whether it's comfy sandals, hair, jewelry, outfit etc. Even if I'm just standing in line at 7/11 if a woman has an amazing handbag- I'm gonna tell her. lol.  I've never had anyone freak out over it or look at me weird.   I think women sometimes thinks it's even more special coming from a transwoman, kinda like when a gay man compliments them on their hair. hahaha

[Bri2020]

@Karma39 never mind, I found the file on the internet and I'm making some coffee mugs from VistaPrint with it!

[April-Showers]

2 hours ago, Teri Anne said:

I have found the loud super activist type that make a huge scene by yelling, screaming and demanding things makes it harder on the rest of us.

you are so right. you have a good outlook and are very level-headed. we need more of this. thank you.

[Karma39]

1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

@Karma39 never mind, I found the file on the internet and I'm making some coffee mugs from VistaPrint with it!

 

Amazing! Happy you found it!

[Mmindy]

3 hours ago, Vanessa Michelle said:

Home alone today, so I decided to give myself a little euphoria by wearing some gender affirming clothing for once, and it feels good. ❤️

I love this combination Vanessa. I’m looking for Fall Weather Clothing, this would be perfect. 
 

Best wishes,

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

[Ivy]

19 hours ago, Teri Anne said:

I have found the loud super activist type that make a huge scene by yelling, screaming and demanding things makes it harder on the rest of us.

Oh, I would agree.

Although I seldom "pass" I still try to keep a low profile.

[Teri Anne]

Being loud, pushy,obnoxious and verbally abusive isn't going to win you any friends or acceptance from the regular folks.

[April-Showers]

1 hour ago, Jandi said:

Although I seldom "pass" I still try to keep a low profile.

good idea. just be yourself and don't worry. there are many many people who don't 'pass' even when they are genetic. and passing isn't the main goal. it's just being able to live your life as you choose. thank you.

[Niamh]

19 hours ago, April-Showers said:

many times non-verbal gestures are all it takes. the simplest is a smile. when you smile at someone chances are you will get one back. especially when it looks like someone really needs one. that truly can brighten a person's day! thank you....and keep smiling!  

This is very much my philosophy. I was talking about it this morning with my wife. One of the main reasons she doesn't really support me being trans is fear of what others might say or do to me (or to her by association). I said that one thing I have learned is that while avoiding eye contact with others while I am presenting as Niamh may avoid some potential conflicts - if I want people to be friendly towards me then smiling is a far better option. I generally have a much better day as Niamh when I smile at those who approach me. It's a natural reaction to smile back, even if you didn't intend to!

[April-Showers]

1 hour ago, Teri Anne said:

Being loud, pushy,obnoxious and verbally abusive isn't going to win you any friends or acceptance from the regular folks.

i really like your posts Teri Anne. you have a great outlook on life. thank you.

[April-Showers]

1 hour ago, Niamh said:

is fear of what others might say or do to me (or to her by association)

fear of what others may think stops many from doing what they themselves know is right. we do at times need to be 'cautious' and respectful of others. but don't let fear inter'fere'. hmmmm that was pretty clever even for me. fear-fere. lol sorry. i like to find humor even when i write stuff that i don't know is funny until after i write it. lol oh well. thank you.  

[Teri Anne]

4 hours ago, Niamh said:

This is very much my philosophy. I was talking about it this morning with my wife. One of the main reasons she doesn't really support me being trans is fear of what others might say or do to me (or to her by association). I said that one thing I have learned is that while avoiding eye contact with others while I am presenting as Niamh may avoid some potential conflicts - if I want people to be friendly towards me then smiling is a far better option. I generally have a much better day as Niamh when I smile at those who approach me. It's a natural reaction to smile back, even if you didn't intend to!

Most people are too involved in themselves to worry much about a trans or CD they may see in public.

I used to worry about that too but came to understand most people could care less and I was the one that was being trans phobic. Talk about a wake up call LOLOL.

Thanks for the nice comments April.

[Niamh]

A bit of a follow up and an indication of how I was dressed today....

 

I walked from my home to the local shopping area today (it's a small town) and after picking up some makeup I popped in to a local store that sells dried fruits and nuts.

 

The woman at the till said my hair was lovely and I replied that it was a wig. She said it didn't matter it still looked really nice. 

 

One of the best things about "coming out" to all my family and friends is the ability to be honest - it is such a liberating thing. 

 

While the woman at the store couldn't see me smile (because of my covid facemask) I really had to smile at that exchange. 

 

The photo is from today and the wig I was wearing - it was from Amazon and only cost £23