I'm An It, But What Are You?

[Guest maplepower]

Hi Everyone. I'm 46 and this is the first time I have registered anywhere like this. I've always known I was "different". One example... when I was 4, my neighbour got breast cancer and had both breasts removed. I responded "If I ever get breasts, I'm going to cut them off too." Now, as I said, I'm 46 and I have the money. I am looking for a surgeon who will perform the operation. I live in a relatively simple, prairie city. Maybe I'd have better luck in Toronto or Vancouver? (I'm a Canuck!) Has anybody had top surgery? What was it like? Where did you get it done? These two things feel like Albatrosses around my neck. Does anyone understand that?

I look forward to reading all your stories. I'll share more of mine along the way.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hello, Maplepower!

How are you this morning?

Well, Welcome to the Playground, Honey...it's so nice to have you here!

It's early so, I'll offer you some nice hot coco and a fresh plate of Sally's cookies.....OK?

Now, get comfortable and we can wait for some of the other wonderful folks to show and say "Hi".

We all are here with a common bond MTF, FTM, Androgyne, CD's....and you'll fine everyone loving, caring and compassionate.

And please be yourself....it's very safe here

There is lots to read, sweet people to talk to and after 5 posts you may use the Private messenger to talk privately with anyone on the site......pretty cool, Eh?

(I just HAD to say Eh? one time...sorry....lol!)

Relax, Hon.....

XXOO

Donna Jean

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Welcome Welcome Welcome

I am MTF so I can't address your question, but there are plenty of androgyne and FTM here.

Look around and ask questions. Glad you are here...

Lizzy

[Guest Zabrak]

I'm from Canada...but I haven't had chest surgery, sorry!

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

[Guest bronx]

Welcome.

[Sally]

Well, I just wanted to say hello and welcome to the forums.

I am the opposite of you, looking forward to the very things that you are wanting to be rid off.

We all are different and yet so very much alike.

There are a few of the guys here who have alreday had their top surgery and they should be along in a little while.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest 1charlotte1]

Yay Canada! Most of us in america look up to u guys! Except those darn alaskans always pushin u off to the side!

Well, that was a dumb joke.

Hi! I'm Charlotte. I'll take ur chest if u want! Lol *sigh*

I'm sure the guys will show up eventually! Dont lose hope! If u have rotten luck with this post, try asking about top surgery specifically in the FTM forum.

Welcome to lauras! Sorry this took me a bit cause I just woke up! Lol

Hugz, Charlotte

[Guest Irielle]

Hi Maplepower -

I'm androgyne also, but coming from the other direction. I actually wish I had those albatrosses .

My albatross is a bit lower down

Someone will show up with info for you Good luck with your surgery!

Iri

[Guest maplepower]

Thanks all for the warm welcome. This is a place where I can spend a lot of time! Just figuring my way around, but hope to connect with some of you warm and interesting people soon. You know, it's funny... I've always considered myself an "it" but maybe androgyne is a better word. Anyway, I'm off work for many of the same reasons I see around here. So my LTD provider sent me to an "Independent Medical Examination". I told the doctor I was an "it". LMFAO... she put me on PERMANENT disability quoting the "it" thing as a sign of "poor reality testing". Can you all write her a letter telling her I am not the only one in the world with thoughts and feelings like this? Actually don't. I'll take the early pension and travel. Sometimes life throws good curveballs, eh? (Had to add that... from your northern neighbour of sober second thought... yes, with a "u" in neighbour)

[Guest Impossible Princess]

Hi Maplepower.

Well, what can I say, this is certainly a place you can get lost in for hours at a time, chat, forums, information, letters etc you can find them all here.

As for being an "It" (Frowns) I dont really know anyone who is an "it" just keep your chin up, have faith in your self, have faith in who you are and who you should be, but most of all dont be afraid of believing in yourself and who you are. You seem like a very likable character which will do you the world of good.

Stay strong, be safe

Impossible Princess

[Guest Ryles_D]

I'm neutrois (neither male nor female), and intend to have top surgery, too. Hopefully soon. There are a lot of non-binaries out there, you're not alone in being an it. Welcome!

Neutrois might fit for you if you feel you're an it, most of the people I know who use the pronoun 'it' are neutrois. Here's a basic definition:

Neutrois means non-gendered class. A Neutrois is someone who identifies as being non-gendered and seeks to lose the major physical signifiers that indicate gender to others (breasts, facial and body hair, crotch bulges, etc). Neutrois are not androgynes, but do pursue an androgynous appearance. They are uniquely bound by their gender dysphoria in that they find both male and female orientations wrong. Because of this, transitioning from an assigned gender, to either male, or female identities is not an acceptable solution.

[...]

Unless a hysterectomy, or orchidectomy has been performed, hormone therapy for Neutrois is wrong. It places undue stress on the body, has potentially alarming psychological influences. It also adds to the list of gender signifiers which the patient was trying to get rid of in the first place. Neutrois are trying to lose gender traits, not gain new ones.

As for being an "It" (Frowns) I dont really know anyone who is an "it"

I do. Okay, to be fair, I know a few people who use that as their pronoun, which to me is similar. The first one that comes to mind is a neutrois. It transitioned to neutrois, and even got its 'title' or whatever to be Mx.

If you feel like 'It' is right for you, maplepower- that's fine.

[Guest maplepower]

I'm neutrois (neither male nor female), and intend to have top surgery, too. Hopefully soon. There are a lot of non-binaries out there, you're not alone in being an it. Welcome!

Neutrois might fit for you if you feel you're an it, most of the people I know who use the pronoun 'it' are neutrois. Here's a basic definition:

I do. Okay, to be fair, I know a few people who use that as their pronoun, which to me is similar. The first one that comes to mind is a neutrois. It transitioned to neutrois, and even got its 'title' or whatever to be Mx.

If you feel like 'It' is right for you, maplepower- that's fine.

Look, I'm already learning. I have used "it" for lack of a better word. Neutrois feels like it hits somewhere. I have never had a desire for a male "appendage", but have always felt almost betrayed by my body that it grew breasts. I've been on the gay scene for over 20 years as an athletic/outdoorsy/soft butch type, but felt very confused about myself. I am physically and sexually attracted to men, but romantically and emotionally attracted to women. When I heard about the word "androgyne" a light bulb went on in my head. Now maybe neutrios? So much information and so much confusion... hasn't someone drawn up a map for this stuff yet? LOL Thank you again for your information and support. (Well except for one painful frown.)

[Guest Ryles_D]

I have used "it" for lack of a better word.

As I said- that's fine. You don't have to take a label if you don't want, you could just stick with "it" if you prefer it. Every label started because someone came up with it, right?

Neutrois feels like it hits somewhere. I have never had a desire for a male "appendage", but have always felt almost betrayed by my body that it grew breasts.

That's exactly how I feel/felt. I thought about transitioning FtM. However, the clitoris grows on Testosterone, and I'd only consider it if I was guaranteed I could get the grown stuff cut off. I can't even pack comfortably, I don't want something between my legs, but I certainly felt betrayed by puberty and want my breasts gone.

I am physically and sexually attracted to men, but romantically and emotionally attracted to women.

That does sound confusing. I'm asexual, so I would want a non-sexual relationship and wouldn't want sex- but it sounds like youd' want a romantic relationship with a woman and a sexual relationship with a man.

[Guest maplepower]

That does sound confusing. I'm asexual, so I would want a non-sexual relationship and wouldn't want sex- but it sounds like youd' want a romantic relationship with a woman and a sexual relationship with a man.

It is simpler than that for me. I didn't explain fully. With a man I could do just the act... and only the parts I am interested in, but from the romantic and emotional attraction to women grows a much deeper all encompassing hunger. I just ignore the itch men give me because it is shallow and not important to me. My heart and soul belongs to women. When I can figure where I am on the gender spectrum, I'll be better able to figure out my sexual orientation. LOL

[Guest maplepower]

As for being an "It" (Frowns) I dont really know anyone who is an "it" just keep your chin up, have faith in your self, have faith in who you are and who you should be, but most of all dont be afraid of believing in yourself and who you are.

This was my first weekend on any kind of gender dysphoria website. Alone I've grappled with it for years and to have someone "frown" upon me because they don't like the terminology I have struggled to create was... well... mean. I try to always be kind to everyone because I know kind of pain people can walk around in.

[Guest Ryles_D]

This was my first weekend on any kind of gender dysphoria website. Alone I've grappled with it for years and to have someone "frown" upon me because they don't like the terminology I have struggled to create was... well... mean. I try to always be kind to everyone because I know kind of pain people can walk around in.

I suspect Impossible Princess's frown was because, in the realm of binaries (male/female), "It" is a grave insult. I got on the subject of gender neutral pronouns (expect to see a lot about those in the non-binary world, I still can't keep track ) with a transguy, mentioned the people I know who use 'it' and his response was "I've beat people up for calling me that". Unfortunately, a lot of people use things like "What is it" or "There goes it" for binary transpeople to dehumanize them. If anything- that seems like a stronger reason to accept people who choose to use it- if it's an acceptable, non-offensive pronoun to use on humans, then the only problem is that you asked to be called this and they're not.

However, Impossible Princess, if a person asks for a pronoun/label to be used, there's no reason to frown at them. Unless they had said something to indicate they'd come to use this term due to abuse and harassment- there's no reason to frown at a person's way of explaining who they are unless it's offensive. I believe maplepower's made it clear that they're very early into their journey, they don't know all the terms and lingo- and 'it' is a perfectly acceptable way of explaining what they are. If they are neutrois, they might even find themselves continuing to use it to explain, because 'neutrois' is such an unheard of term.

[Guest maplepower]

Thanks, friend. You probably enlightened us both a bit.

[Guest Marissa Anastasia]

Dear Malepower,

Welcome to our group...I know you will find unqualified support and acceptance here...we have a very diverse group that will serve you well and support you.

Again, welcome!!

Love,

Marissa