Todays The Day

[Guest 1charlotte1]

For those of u who have read some of my previous posts. I have been working on coming out to my family. Today is the day. I am going to write to sepperate letters one for each parent. I felt this was best because I have different relationship with each. I'm scared as hell!

I'm putting this up for a few reasons. One is to force myself to Carry out my plan! Another is for any last words before my life flips (which I'm sure it will because I know my parents)

So goodbye! I'm about to jump off the cliff of exposure to the world. I sure as hell hope the world is ready!

*great big hug* Charlotte

[Carolyn Marie]

Charlotte, I wish you the best of luck, dear. Hope for the best, but be prepared for negative reactions too. Remember that it will take time for it to sink in. It will be a shocking thing to your parents, but be calm, talk them through it, and don't let your emotions get the better of you.

Show them how much it means to you to be who you were meant to be, how happy it will make you.

Give them time to adjust to the idea, don't ask them to instantly approve. Don't rush them into acceptance. It will take time.

All the best.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Neuro]

Good luck Charlotte!! o^o I hope everything goes great!

[Guest skyy]

good luck to you, i admire your courage

[Guest Donna Jean]

Honey......

Thats a very brave and scary thing that you do....Good for you......It will take a load off of your shoulders....

We're all here for you.....Please tell us how it goes...

Were're pretty good at sending positive energy........just ask Joe!

****BIGG HUGG****

Donna Jean

[Guest Elizabeth K]

GO - Go with our best wishes - GO

And let us know what happens... keep your cool, be strong!

Lizzy

[Guest Ashlee]

Oh Charlotte,

I do hope that everything goes well for you!

I would have some things handy for them, as they will have lots of questions.

Print out as much of the information you can from trusted web sites so you can hand it to them when they start asking questions. Tell them to read it over and then ask the questions.

Give them the link to us here at Lauras. Tell them about the forum for Parents of TG kids.

Give them a big hug and tell them you still love them.

All the best to you,

{HUGS}

Ashlee

[Guest Irielle]

Wow, congratulations Charlotte! Good for you!

I hope everything goes perfectly for you. If there are any snags just remember to stay true to yourself and to your heart. This is your life and you deserve to be happy and to be who you really are. Good luck.

Iri

[Guest 1charlotte1]

good luck to you, i admire your courage

Don't flatter me! If I was courageous this would probably be my last year in this body!

No one here is any less brave then I. Thanx for all the positive posts! While I do not want to think of a positive reaction, I should be prepared

[Guest julia_d]

So Charlotte .. world war 3 or "whatever - we already guessed" .. going to go one way or the other eh?

If I can speak as a parent for a moment.. I would hope my child could always feel they can discuss anything and tell me anything without fearing my reaction. If they wrote me a letter I would feel my love and my trust had somehow been betrayed.. I wouldn't want to, but I would be on the back foot and a little annoyed that I was trusted and valued so little that instead of whatever subject it was face to face I was handed or left a letter. That's just me.. My parents didn't understand and I grew up as an outcast.. I left as soon as I was legally able. I saw my father 3 times from then until his funeral.. and my mother only 4 times before hers.

You know your parents and I'm sure you are doing what you think is the right thing, but if this could all blow up.. try to put yourself in their boots and think how your relationship is with each of them and think if they could somehow be offended or upset you don't think enough of them to talk to them one to one instead. As a parent I would be very hurt if I felt my child saw me in such a way they couldn't talk to me about anything they wanted... especially offspring who are entering adulthood. I hope that's when parents really have the most to give.. with the young adults.. not that the kids will ever listen *giggles*

Have I used the word think enough times in that sentence XD .. can't come up with another word..

You know them .. do whatever you consider will be the best... and good luck.. the best result sometimes is a "yeah.. whatever" and normality resumes apart from a different name for one of the household

I have said this before too .. once you get to my age you realise parents are just some people.. whether they matter or are special to you is up to them. They can be supportive and help like all parents should be with offspring.. or they can make things hard.. that's up to them. Theres one thing I guarantee they can't do and that is stop you taking whatever paths you choose in life. I guess you know the saying "Today is the first day of the rest of your life" ?? theres another one.. "Today you are the youngest you will ever be.. so act it"

when I was 20 I worried what friends and family might think

when I was 30 I worried what the rest of the world might think

by the time I reached 40 I realised that mostly they aren't thinking at all...

PPW .. the girl without enough middle fingers some days *laughs*

[Guest 1charlotte1]

Can anyone get me a link or two to helpful and informative sites?

Thnx a bunch!

Charlotte

[Guest julia_d]

Try this one. http://www.tsroadmap.com/index.html . and of course all the wonderful info on the main site here

[Guest Eth]

Good luck Charlotte!

[Guest 1charlotte1]

So Charlotte .. world war 3 or "whatever - we already guessed" .. going to go one way or the other eh?

If I can speak as a parent for a moment.. I would hope my child could always feel they can discuss anything and tell me anything without fearing my reaction. If they wrote me a letter I would feel my love and my trust had somehow been betrayed.. I wouldn't want to, but I would be on the back foot and a little annoyed that I was trusted and valued so little that instead of whatever subject it was face to face I was handed or left a letter. That's just me.. My parents didn't understand and I grew up as an outcast.. I left as soon as I was legally able. I saw my father 3 times from then until his funeral.. and my mother only 4 times before hers.

You know your parents and I'm sure you are doing what you think is the right thing, but if this could all blow up.. try to put yourself in their boots and think how your relationship is with each of them and think if they could somehow be offended or upset you don't think enough of them to talk to them one to one instead. As a parent I would be very hurt if I felt my child saw me in such a way they couldn't talk to me about anything they wanted... especially offspring who are entering adulthood. I hope that's when parents really have the most to give.. with the young adults.. not that the kids will ever listen *giggles*

Have I used the word think enough times in that sentence XD .. can't come up with another word..

You know them .. do whatever you consider will be the best... and good luck.. the best result sometimes is a "yeah.. whatever" and normality resumes apart from a different name for one of the household

I have said this before too .. once you get to my age you realise parents are just some people.. whether they matter or are special to you is up to them. They can be supportive and help like all parents should be with offspring.. or they can make things hard.. that's up to them. Theres one thing I guarantee they can't do and that is stop you taking whatever paths you choose in life. I guess you know the saying "Today is the first day of the rest of your life" ?? theres another one.. "Today you are the youngest you will ever be.. so act it"

when I was 20 I worried what friends and family might think

when I was 30 I worried what the rest of the world might think

by the time I reached 40 I realised that mostly they aren't thinking at all...

PPW .. the girl without enough middle fingers some days *laughs*

Well, u have an excellent point! And u give me an excellent reason to say that these letters are meant to break the ice. I was going to type that I would really like to talk to them about it, but I didn't know how to start. It is hard to explain, but I know them well. I have it all worked out

( I would like to admit I had not planned on having any resources for them. Which is another reason I have this thread! U guys are my life editor!)

[Sally]

Good luck, Charlotte!

I can give you one more resource - us, the members here at Laura's.

If they are having trouble understanding or want to talk to someone, we are always here to help - you can log in and open a PM to one of us and let them ask questions and we can answer them.

Anyway you know we are here for you.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest julia_d]

I guess really the best way would be to get the one you feel will be most understanding and supportive and ask if you can have a quiet word about something private which is very important.

Over a coffee in the middle of the day or some other time when they have nothing hassling them and you won't be disturbed by anything or anybody.

As they sound like they will react differently it's good to have an ally who respects that you have taken the time and the courage to be honest and open with them.. and you can even bring up your worries about the other parents reaction in your chat.

I think what I'm trying to say is this. It might be better to break the ice with the one you have the best relationship with first instead of giving them something to read and discuss without you around. They are a partnership.. a team.. and sometimes it's better and easier dealing with an I (theres no I in team) than a pair of parents who come to the table having made whatever decision the dominant partner has imposed.

If you think there might be a real big fight it's better to at least try to get one of them to stand in a neutral corner, even if you can't get them on your side taking on just one is better than both.

Other people will no doubt reply before I get this finished and posted. If you are financially dependent on them completely for everything please be careful. I know you feel this step has to be taken but if it could lead to homelessness or violence tread very softly and be prepared to possibly make a few compromises until you are in a position to stand independent in the world for yourself.

[Guest 1charlotte1]

I guess really the best way would be to get the one you feel will be most understanding and supportive and ask if you can have a quiet word about something private which is very important.

Over a coffee in the middle of the day or some other time when they have nothing hassling them and you won't be disturbed by anything or anybody.

As they sound like they will react differently it's good to have an ally who respects that you have taken the time and the courage to be honest and open with them.. and you can even bring up your worries about the other parents reaction in your chat.

I think what I'm trying to say is this. It might be better to break the ice with the one you have the best relationship with first instead of giving them something to read and discuss without you around. They are a partnership.. a team.. and sometimes it's better and easier dealing with an I (theres no I in team) than a pair of parents who come to the table having made whatever decision the dominant partner has imposed.

If you think there might be a real big fight it's better to at least try to get one of them to stand in a neutral corner, even if you can't get them on your side taking on just one is better than both.

Other people will no doubt reply before I get this finished and posted. If you are financially dependent on them completely for everything please be careful. I know you feel this step has to be taken but if it could lead to homelessness or violence tread very softly and be prepared to possibly make a few compromises until you are in a position to stand independent in the world for yourself.

I will be very careful. I am going to sit em down in the same room (which is easy because they both watch tv at the same time) give each their letter. Then let the questions and explaining take place. I am financialy dependent on them (I havnt graduated yet) but I have a place to stay if things turn for the worst (I doubt this will happen. And if it does, well, I needed some kind of change anyway!) lol. Thanx for all the advice!

[Guest NeverSayNever]

Good luck Charlotte! I hope everything goes well!!

I wish I had your courage, I really admire you for it.

*hugs*

[Guest nymphblossom]

Sweetheart, you and your family are in my thoughts & prayers.

Love,

Blossom

[Guest julia_d]

Please let us know how it all goes.. we are all here for you *hugs*

[Guest caramelchef]

((( BIG HUG))) Good luck today

[Guest Victoriaf]

Good luck i hope everything works out.

Victoria

[Guest 1charlotte1]

ok, I have a delima, my parents are gonna be gone for most of the night. Do I still tell them later? I'm worried that they might have been drinking, and I'm also worried if I put it off I will lose my courage! Help!!

[Sally]

ok, I have a delima, my parents are gonna be gone for most of the night. Do I still tell them later? I'm worried that they might have been drinking, and I'm also worried if I put it off I will lose my courage! Help!!

That is a determination that will be best made by you when they arrive home.

Don't greet them at the door with your letters, let them come in and get a good feel as to what sort of mood they are in and then either do it tonight or wait if you need to - there are times that it just doesn't work in your favor.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Like Sally said, wait and see. It will be your call - and it's natural you don't want to cancel out after working up the courage BUT it is important the mood is right.

Don't rush it if it looks like bad timing.

Just an opinion...

Lizzy