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My Experience With Coming Out


squish

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And why I can't do it anymore....

 

So lets start of about 8 years ago. I was watching TV and I was like "wow that girl is pretty" (I'm pretty sure it was like Zendaya or some Disney channel star.) Over the next year I would watch TV or go to school and develop these mini 7-yr old crushes on girls.

 

So I told my mom. I said something like "mom I dont think i like boys anymore, i mean they are cute but girls are cuter"

And she was so confused so I told her how I was watching TV and all that stuff happened and she was like just like "oh"

My mom's a lesbian and I came out to her as bi before she came out to me. 

 

Time-skip to 5th grade I told her I was only into girls and she was supportive and about it (why wouldn't she be right?

But that didn't last long... 

When I got into the 6th grade, I realized I was non-binary.

My sister who was in 7th grade at the time came out as genderfluid and pan. My mom tried to be accepting but she kept calling them by her birthname after being told their preferred name many times. 

 

The bad part starts this past winter when I came out as ace and she said to me "you know you're going to get cheated on right?" 

And then started making fun of me for being ace
When I've been in situations with my gf that could have turned sexual and I felt uncomfortable and she knows

Who tells their daughter who's in middle school that your going to be cheated on because you don't want sex?????


 

Right now I'm in 9th grade and I planned on coming out to my mom as NB but that's not happening 

Her and my stepmom say the worst things about people who identify as they

Literally yesterday they were talking about Elliot Page and Sam Smith and the part of their convo I heard went a little like this

"So now every confused person is trans?"

"Her career was flopping that's why she said that, she just needs more money"

"Calling people they is wrong! It's grammatically incorrect!"

"No babe it's about the personality"

"So they are crazy? Like BPD or MPD?"

"..."

"So I'll call someone they if I see an doctors diagnosis"

 

Over the summer my sibling called my mom transphobic and she got all defensive saying that she wasn't but they have conversations like this all the time. 

If they can't be comfortable/understand people who want to transition or pronouns are they/them

I don't feel comfortable coming out to them as someone who identifies as she/he/them 

 

Any thoughts?

-squish

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  • Forum Moderator

Egad, by the dripping fangs of the Spider Goddess I'm sorry you have to deal with that. So yeah, your folks are transphobic. That's pretty classic transphobic behavior right there. Sometimes people can get past it when a family member comes out as trans but their behavior is telling. They won't use the correct pronouns or preferred name for your sib. They talk about NB people like they're just "confused" instead of a legitimate group.

 

Unfortunately, there's not much you can do for another three years (at least). You could come out to them, but there's no guarantee they'd behave any better with you than they do with your sib. The unfortunate truth is that sometimes, your parents won't understand and nothing can make them understand. Then your choice becomes trying to love them anyway or cutting them out of your life.

 

Hugs!

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