Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

A bit annoying


TTheta

Recommended Posts

This is having to do with mental health so I believe it is best to put this here. 

 

So a while ago I was in therapy and I told my therapist about my symptoms, hearing voices, amnesia, having other people in my mind and then my psychiatrist gave me meds for Schizophrenia, which is clearly not what I have, well mainly because I took multiple different medicines to try and "Clear" me of my voices, which is one I have had since I was 6 years old. His name is Harley. But there are more and they all have their own personalities, but of course I get diagnosed with schizophrenia, and my stepmom heard about it and told everyone. My therapist was trying to fix the diagnosis that my psychiatrist gave me meds for but of course I get pulled out of therapy and I still have Schizophrenia on my record and that is not what I have. I just wish I was in therapy long enough so I could have been officially diagnosed so I could feel valid, my therapist and I were working on it, but I got pulled too soon :((  There is me Aidan, Harley, Lyra, Caden, Aj, Akos, Keiji, Screw, and Fletcher. That's everyone. I can hear them and I talk to them regularly, usually out loud. But I really don't feel valid without a diagnosis and it's kinda stressing me out too. 

 

I also really like having them around because it makes me feel less alone when I don't have access to internet since I have no irl friends because of virus

 

also if anyone has questions I will be glad to answer them :))

 

And if there is a better place to put this lemme know :0

Link to comment

Something I somehow forgot to include- the reason I was writing this post-

 

I have terrible amnesia and I get bashed for it or my parents say I am faking or lying. It really doesn't make sense and sometimes I feel like they are messing with me. I could be sitting on the couch one minute and find myself in the kitchen or some random room with no recollection of how I got there. It's bizarre and I really wish I still had my therapist to work this out

Link to comment

?Sorry for I'm far incapable of helping at all bout the situation. But you need a different psychiatrist and therapist, even for second opinion just in case of the med situation and diagnosis... but so far you're at your parents mercy. Just hang in there a bit longer if you can.

Do you feel those voices, are a part of you or completely separate? I hope you get the chance to sue your stepmom for inflicting mental trauma and abuse. 

But if you're moving around not knowing how you got there, that's not good. I suggest keeping notes and make a habit of writing the time and place, when you move to a different place. Make a note on your phone, or carry a small notebook. On phone it's easy if you have word excel and just make an excel color coded chart, so it's hard for others to read and easy enough to fill out. Use Google doc on your phone, they let you use excel. 1st column is time, 2nd column is location 1, 3rd column is location 2, 4th column is method of moving from location 1 and 2, 5th column is why moving. Color code places in your house or areas you go, to fill in the columns for locations easily. Example green-kitchen, blue-bathroom, red-your bedroom...etc. Say it's for a school health project, studying how much time we spend in places and how much we move? Best I can think for the situation. Don't go to crazy about it, but try to keep track of your movements and be safe.

Link to comment

Dear @Aidan5,

 

I think your desire to feel validated is so important. A correct diagnosis is incredibly validating because it gives a sense that what we're going through is real and shared by others. I can only imagine how much hardship this is causing for you, especially because schizophrenia can be a very stigmatizing diagnosis and cause others to view you and your experience in the wrong light. They may see what's happening as a "problem" to be "solved" or "cured," rather than something to be accepted and understood. I wonder if others are assuming that the voices you hear and talk with are distressing, when in fact they're not distressing but reassuring for you. The healthcare system in the U.S. often leaps to prescribe treatment without taking the time to fully understand what's going on first. I'm so sorry to hear that your relationship with your therapist was so abruptly ended, especially at a time when you needed that support the most. I really hope you'll be able to connect and work with a new therapist soon, and that you can have a genuine conversation with your family about it too without feeling judged or hurt. We'll be cheering for you! ?

 

Love,

~Audrey.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Wow, stuff I was just talking to my therapist about. Not for me exactly, but I was trying to learn more about DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) for another member. So yeah, definitely therapy and a real diagnosis is in your future. I'm not sure about suing anybody. Your wardens (they sure as heck don't ACT like parents OR guardians) should face some sort of punishment but I don't think it needs to be delivered by your hand. I just want you to be well. On the plus side, my therapist recommended Internal Family System therapy (though she might be biased, IFS is kind of her jam) for treatment and that's always fun for artists. Getting to know your various facets and what purpose they serve in your psyche is very enlightening.

 

Be well sweetie. Thanks for sharing!

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

I'm sorry that happened..  a close friend of mine had DID and your symptoms kind of sound similar but I'm NOT a doctor.... I hope you get everything sorted out and stuff...

Link to comment
8 hours ago, Mx.Drago said:

Do you feel those voices, are a part of you or completely separate?

It's like somebody else, I have no idea what they are going to say, it kinda feels like having someone on the phone, but in my head- 

 

8 hours ago, Mx.Drago said:

But if you're moving around not knowing how you got there, that's not good. I suggest keeping notes and make a habit of writing the time and place, when you move to a different place. Make a note on your phone, or carry a small notebook. On phone it's easy if you have word excel and just make an excel color coded chart, so it's hard for others to read and easy enough to fill out. Use Google doc on your phone, they let you use excel. 1st column is time, 2nd column is location 1, 3rd column is location 2, 4th column is method of moving from location 1 and 2, 5th column is why moving. Color code places in your house or areas you go, to fill in the columns for locations easily. Example green-kitchen, blue-bathroom, red-your bedroom...etc. Say it's for a school health project, studying how much time we spend in places and how much we move? Best I can think for the situation. Don't go to crazy about it, but try to keep track of your movements and be safe.

This is a good idea though I have been terrible with keeping notebooks of any kind because they get taken away, and phone was taken years ago haha. Though I like the idea and when I move I will use this. 

 

@Jackie C.Since I got a sketchbook, I was planning on doing a system chart, or draw them all out. 

2 hours ago, Ainsley said:

I'm sorry that happened..  a close friend of mine had DID and your symptoms kind of sound similar but I'm a doctor.... I hope you get everything sorted out and stuff...

Thanks bud. I will be going to a doctor/therapist when I move. Hope you are well too! :))

 

5 hours ago, Audrey said:

I wonder if others are assuming that the voices you hear and talk with are distressing, when in fact they're not distressing but reassuring for you.

This is 100% the case, none of them have ever harmed me in a malicious way. Honestly I find them to be better than my family. There are 4 other adults in my house and none of them listen to me, or they talk over me like I am not even there. They only talk to me when making fun of me or they want something. 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Aidan5 said:

@Jackie C.Since I got a sketchbook, I was planning on doing a system chart, or draw them all out. 

 

Oh that is SO on my to-do list. I'm working on improving my art skills right now. I've let them lay too long and I'm getting back in the groove, but I desperately want to draw them out. I just don't feel like I have the skills to do them justice.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
15 hours ago, Ainsley said:

I'm only just realizing now that I said "I'm a doctor" instead of "I'm not a doctor" I'm -censored- dumb...

It's fine...not like we can edit the post ourselves. I'm dyslexic and no matter how many times I read my words over before posting, always forget to fix one thing. Just get one of the forum moderators to change it if you need to make a change.

Link to comment
  • Root Admin

If you are really struggling, download Grammerly, it helps me no end as it checks my grammar, spelling and even if I've missed a space between words. It words with most browsers, you do have to create an account for it to work fully, but I've had no privacy issues since I started using it in February this year, which is when I found it.

Link to comment
17 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Oh that is SO on my to-do list. I'm working on improving my art skills right now. I've let them lay too long and I'm getting back in the groove, but I desperately want to draw them out. I just don't feel like I have the skills to do them justice.

 

Hugs!

So far my favorite one of my alters to draw is Keiji :)) But Harley is always asking for me to draw him and I have not gotten to it yet haha, yeh lately I just have not had any time to do anything, but the future holds promise!!

 

15 hours ago, Ainsley said:

I'm only just realizing now that I said "I'm a doctor" instead of "I'm not a doctor" I'm -censored- dumb...

I'm dyslexic too and I read it as "I'm not a doctor" lol so you are fine haha.

 

1 hour ago, Petra Jane said:

If you are really struggling, download Grammerly, it helps me no end as it checks my grammar, spelling and even if I've missed a space between words. It words with most browsers, you do have to create an account for it to work fully, but I've had no privacy issues since I started using it in February this year, which is when I found it.

Why didn't I think of this? haha

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Petra Jane said:

If you are really struggling, download Grammerly, it helps me no end as it checks my grammar, spelling and even if I've missed a space between words. It words with most browsers, you do have to create an account for it to work fully, but I've had no privacy issues since I started using it in February this year, which is when I found it.

Many thanks for the info, will look into it.

Link to comment
20 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Oh that is SO on my to-do list. I'm working on improving my art skills right now. I've let them lay too long and I'm getting back in the groove, but I desperately want to draw them out. I just don't feel like I have the skills to do them justice.

 

Hugs!

I always go back to my shadow into light drawings to get my focusing back. Slowly going through the darker colors into the lighter colors, bringing the subject into light. Looks like a blob painting at first but it helps me losen my hands and it's like sculpting with molding clay except 2d. Or another favorite, scribble art. Don't let all that fancy stuff online deter your artist spirit. It's a skill that takes time, love and patience.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 134 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • Carolyn Marie
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Ashley0616
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,029
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Selkimur
    Newest Member
    Selkimur
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      Just some exerts regarding subjects of interest to me.
    • Ivy
      Yeah.  In my early teens I trained myself out of a few things that I now wish I hadn't.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I was thinking in particular of BLM, who years ago had a 'What We Believe' section that sounded like they were at war with the nuclear family.   I tried to find it. Nope.  Of interest https://www.politifact.com/article/2020/aug/28/ask-politifact-does-black-lives-matter-aim-destroy/   My time is limited and I will try to answer as I can.
    • Ivy
      Well, I suppose it is possible that they don't actually plan on doing what they say.  I'm not too sure I want to take that chance.  But I kinda expect to find out.  Yet, perhaps you're right and it's all just talk.  And anyway, my state GOP is giving me enough to worry about anyway. I remember a time when being "woke" just meant you were paying attention.  Now it means you are the antichrist. I just don't want the government "protecting" me from my personal "delusions."
    • MaeBe
      1.  I think there are some legitimate concern.   2. Thoroughly discussing this will consume many threads.   3. I disagree partially with @MaeBe but there is partial agreement.   4. The context includes what is happening in society that the authors are observing.  It is not an isolated document.   The observation is through a certain lens, because people do things differently doesn't mean they're doing it wrong. Honestly, a lot of the conservative rhetoric is morphing desires of people to be treated with respect and social equity to be tantamount to the absolution of the family, heterosexuality, etc. Also, being quiet and trying to blend in doesn't change anything. Show me a social change that benefits a minority or marginalized group that didn't need to be loud.   5. Trump, if elected, is as likely to spend his energies going after political opponents as he is to implementing something like this.   Trump will appoint people to do this, like Roger Severino (who was appointed before, who has a record of anti-LGBTQ+ actions), he need not do anything beyond this. His people are ready to push this agenda forward. While the conservative right rails about bureaucracy, they intend to weaponize it. There is no question. They don't want to simplify government, they simply want to fire everyone and bring in conservative "warriors" (their rhetoric). Does America survive 4 year cycles of purge/cronyism?   6. I reject critical theory, which is based on Marxism.  Marxism has never worked and never will.  Critical theory has problems which would need time to go into, which I do not have.   OK, but this seems like every other time CRT comes up with conservatives...completely out of the blue. I think it's reference is mostly just to spark outrage from the base. Definitely food thought for a different thread, though.   7. There are groups who have declared war on the nuclear family as problematically patriarchal, and a lot of other terms. They are easy to find on the internet.  This document is reacting to that (see #4 above).   What is the war on the nuclear family? I searched online and couldn't find much other than reasons why people aren't getting married as much or having kids (that wasn't a propaganda from Heritage or opinions pieces from the right that paint with really broad strokes). Easy things to see: the upward mobility and agency of women, the massive cost of rearing children, general negative attitudes about the future, male insecurity, etc. None of this equates to a war on the nuclear family, but I guess if you look at it as "men should be breadwinners and women must get married for financial support and extend the male family line (and to promote "National Greatness") I could see the decline of marriage as a sign of the collapse of a titled system and, if I was a beneficiary of that system or believe that to NOT be tilted, be aggrieved.   8.  Much of this would have to be legislated, and this is a policy documented.  Implementation would  be most likely different, but that does not mean criticism is unwarranted.   "It might be different if you just give it a chance", unlike all the other legislation that's out there targeting LGBTQ+ from the right, these are going to be different? First it will be trans rights, then it will be gay marriage, and then what? Women's suffrage?   I get it, we may have different compasses, but it's not hard to see that there's no place for queer people in the conservative worldview. There seems to be a consistent insistence that "America was and is no longer Great", as if the 1950s were the pinnacle of society, completely ignoring how great America still is and can continue to be--without having to regress society to the low standards of its patriarchal yesteryears.    
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Cadillac parts are pretty expensive, so repairing them costs more.  But they don't seem to break down more than other makes.  Lots of Lincoln models use Ford cars as a base, so you can get parts that aren't much more expensive.    My family has had good luck with "Panther platform" cars.  Ford Crown Victoria, Mercury Marquis, Lincoln Towncar or Continental.  4.6 V8 and 5.0 V8.  Reasonable fuel economy, and fairly durable.  Our county sheriff's office was running Chargers and SUV's for a while, but has gone back to older Crown Victorias for ease of maintenance.  GF rebuilds them here.  But they are getting more scarce, since the newest ones were made in 2011.    1992-1997 years were different than the later years.  1998-2001 they did some changes, and apparently the best years are 2003 to 2011.  Check Craigslist, and also government auctions.  GF has gotten a lot of them at auction, and they can be had in rough-but-running shape for around $1,000.  Ones in great shape can be found in the $5,000+ range.  Good for 200,000 miles without significant rebuilding.  Go through engine and transmission and electrical systems, and they go half a million.    Some Chrysler models are OK.  The 300 mostly has the same engines as the Charger and Challenger, so parts availability is pretty good.  But they tend to get timing issues.  The older Chrysler Sebring convertibles were pretty reliable, sometimes going 200,000 miles without tons of problems, although after that they were pretty much worn out. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think I have read everything the Southern Baptists have to say on transgender, and it helped convince me they are dead wrong on these issues.  They can be nice people.  I would never join an SBC church.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You come across as a thoughtful, sweet, interesting and pleasant person.    There are parts of this country, and more so the world, where evangelicals experience a great deal of finger wagging.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      It has been an interesting experience being in a marriage in a Christian faith community, yet being intersex/trans.  I stay pretty quiet, and most have kind of accepted that I'm just the strange, harmless exception.  "Oh, that's just Jen.  Jen is...different."  I define success as being a person most folks just overlook. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, I live in an area with a lot of Southern Baptists, Evangelicals, etc...  We've experienced our share of finger-wagging, as the "standard interpretation" of Scripture in the USA is that the Bible only approves of "one man, one woman" marriage.  My faith community is mostly accepted here, but that has taken time and effort.  It can be tough at times to continue to engage with culture and the broader population, and avoid the temptation to huddle up behind walls like a cult.    Tolerance only goes so far.  At one point, my husband was asked to run for sheriff.  He declined, partly because an elected official with four wives would have a REALLY tough time.  (Of course, making way less than his current salary wasn't an option either). 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      My bone structure is far more female than male.  I can't throw like a guy, which has been observed by guys numerous times, and moving like a woman is more natural.  It just is.  I'm not going out of my way to act in a fem. way, as you say, but I am letting go of some of the 'I am not going to move like that because I am a guy' stuff I have defensively developed.  The other breaks through anyway - there were numerous looks from people at work when I would use gestures that are forbidden to men, or say something spontaneously no guy would ever say.   At one point, maybe a year or more ago, I said it was unfair for people to think they were dealing with a man when they were actually dealing with a woman.    Girl here.  'What is a woman' is a topic for another day.
    • Willow
      Mom, I’m home!  What’s for lunch?   Leftover pizza .   ok.    Not exactly our conversation but there is truth in the answer.     @KymmieLsorry you are sick. Feel better soon.   Girl mode, boy mode no mode, not us. Nothing functional for either of us.   anyone here have or had a 10 year old (plus or minus) Caddy, Lincoln or Chrysler?  How was it?  Lots of repairs?  Comfortable seats? Anything positive or negative about it?  I need to replace my 2004 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer, it’s eating $100 dollar bills and needs a couple of thousand dollars worth of work and that doesn’t even fix the check engine code.  Obviously, it isn’t worth putting that kind of money into a 20 year old car with a 174 thousand miles.   Willow
    • Ashley0616
      Oversized pink shirt, pink and black sports bra
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think you mean the worst possible interpretation of 2025 situation.  Keep in mind that there are those who will distort and downright lie about anything coming from conservatives - I have seen it time and time again.  It's one of the reasons I want to read the thing slowly and carefully.  They want you to be very, very afraid. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Here is where the expectation is that the stereotypical evangelical comes in finger wagging, disapproving and condemning.    Not gonna do that.   You have to work these things out.  Transgender issues put a whole different spin on everything and God understands what we are going through. I have enough trouble over here.  :)
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...