Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

AAAAAHHHHHHH!


JustineM

Recommended Posts

Ok now that I got that out of my system. The letter to my Mom went out today, she should get it in the next 2-3 days. I really don’t know how that one is going to go. Plan on talking to my Dad tomorrow evening. I don’t know if I will get much of a reaction out of him. But he is also older so I don’t know that he will ever call me anything but “son.”  I’m going to have to tell my brother this weekend as well. I would rather have him hear it from me than Mom, especially if she doesn’t take it well. 
 

Thank the Goddess I’m already on acid blockers or I would probably end up with ulcers later tonight, since I am it probably won’t happen until Monday lol.   I’ll keep this thread updated with how it goes. 

Link to comment

Dear Justine, I'm wishing you the best in coming out to your family this weekend. We'll be here to support you and eager to hear how everything goes.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

Link to comment

Well I’m sitting here trying not to ugly cry. The calls to my Dad and brother went amazingly well. My brother said it didn’t bother him and he was glad I was taking steps to be happy. Dad almost immediately offered to help cover therapy and HRT med costs. Said he loved me and that would never change. He did say that he wouldn’t stop calling me his son, though given his age and the way he was raised I didn’t really expect him too. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

That's great news @JustineM! I'm so happy your father and brother are supportive! I'd probably take Dad up on the offer to help out financially too. Anything he wants to put in, you can put towards saving up for the big ticket items.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

@JustineM I'm so happy to read that coming out to your father and brother were such positive experiences! You must feel wonderful after that, and it's great to hear about your father's generosity to support your journey too. I'm hopeful that your mother will receive her letter soon, and that she will also accept you.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Sounds like it went much better than you expected.  Congratulations.

Link to comment

I really thought that I would bouncing ecstatic today but I’m really not. I’m happy but the more overwhelming feeling has really been just a profound peace. More peace than I’ve felt for a long time. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, JustineM said:

feeling has really been just a profound peace.

Its a relief.  Then life goes on.  This is really how it should be.  I'm happy for you. 

 

Jani

Link to comment

Just a quickie update. Still waiting to hear from Mom, though given the weekend and holiday plus USPS current difficulties, she may not have even got the letter yet. One of my older sisters called me this morning and was asking about books she could read to help her understand better. So all in all not going to bad. 

Link to comment

I'm so happy for you Justine. I wish everyone could find that kind of peace in their lives. It's nice your sister is asking for resources to learn from. My family has decided to entrust their lives to google.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

What a great read this morning @JustineM.

 

I'm happy to hear that you family is supporting you, and continue to pray that your mother will also be on board with you.

 

Peace is soothing, who knows, you may be dropping the daily antacids as life comes in line with your feelings.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???

Link to comment

Wonderful news about your family, Justine! I'm hopeful your mother will be just as supportive and loving when she receives her letter. The idea about books and resources to suggest to others has been on my mind as well, I may need some of them soon before the internet takes over that role for coworkers and family. Does anyone have any ideas? I'll check other threads here too.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
16 hours ago, JustineM said:

One of my older sisters called me this morning and was asking about books she could read to help her understand better. So all in all not going to bad.

Wow, Justine. Looks very much like after some research and a few good conversations with her, you may have a trusted ally in your corner. Hopefully, you will find ‘easy to digest’ materials or videos for her to peruse. Someone who loves you enough to learn about what you’re going through is saying so much about your sister. Your relationship will change but sometimes change is required to get to that next level. I am so happy for you. Everyone needs a close ally during a journey like this. Maybe your sister will be yours!

 

My Best,

Susan R?

Link to comment
13 hours ago, Mmindy said:

Peace is soothing, who knows, you may be dropping the daily antacids as life comes in line with your feelings

I hope I can, I’ve been on some kind of stomach meds for darn near 20 years. 

 

13 hours ago, Audrey said:

Wonderful news about your family, Justine! I'm hopeful your mother will be just as supportive and loving when she receives her letter. The idea about books and resources to suggest to others has been on my mind as well, I may need some of them soon before the internet takes over that role for coworkers and family. Does anyone have any ideas? I'll check other threads here too.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

I suggested 2 that I found on Amazon to her, Transgender 101 by Nicholas Teich and Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Trans by Brynn Tannehill. 

Link to comment
On 1/17/2021 at 7:15 AM, JustineM said:

the more overwhelming feeling has really been just a profound peace. More peace than I’ve felt for a long time. 

That's so great to hear, Justine.  That's what we all want.
Happy its been going so well, and hoping the news is the same when you hear from your Mom ?❤️

Link to comment

Well the whirlwind week continues. Emailed my regional HR manager about talking to my boss. I had talked to her last year and she wanted me to let her know before saying anything so she was ready with any guidance needed.  Also got a call from my Dad, he asked if it was alright to still call me son and then kinda chewed on me for thinking he would love me any less for being trans. 
 

I’ve got to say, seeing some others stories and what they have, or are, going through makes me realize just how lucky I’ve been in this journey so far. 

Link to comment

That was....... interesting. Mom finally text me this morning and told me she got my letter, wanted me to call her this evening. Finally got off work and called her about 8. Really got mostly a lack of any real reaction. She asked a couple questions and kinda tried to guilt-trip me over my wife and boys possibly leaving. (No they aren’t) And that was it.  I’m grateful that she didn’t blow up at me or anything but I really expected some kind of response.  It’s kinda got me a little concerned.

Link to comment

@JustineM I'm relieved to hear that your mother didn't have a strong and immediate negative reaction either, after she received your letter. It's an encouraging sign that she asked you a few questions. Maybe she will just need time to process what she's read, and after she has, she might be ready to have more of a conversation with you. I do understand the concern about what her subdued response might mean. On the positive side though, it's wonderful to know that your wife and children are beside you, as well as your father, brother, and sister!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

Link to comment

It is good to hear that there was no immediate bad reactions. Kind of give me a positive insight to when ever I come out.

Link to comment

On a side note. Sitting here thinking I cannot wait to get on HRT and have my own breasts, not have to worry about breast forms. Lol

Link to comment

Wow this year is just taking off like a rocket. I’m officially out to my boss and supervisors as of this morning. The conversation with my boss was a hot two minutes lol. Told I’m trans and that I’m pursuing starting a medical transition and his reply was alright let me know if you need something. And that was it. 
 

It’s kinda weird, last year I was SO careful and methodical about who I told and how. This year it just like “f it” I am going to get it out there and be freaking happy!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, JustineM said:

It’s kinda weird, last year I was SO careful and methodical about who I told and how. This year it just like “f it” I am going to get it out there and be freaking happy!

@JustineM In my experience this is a totally normal reaction.

 

There was point early in my transition that I was using a local Church parking lot to remove my guy clothing, sunglasses, shoes, etc..that covered my female clothing underneath to attend doctor’s appts, support groups meetings, shopping, etc... Then I had to do the reverse to get back into my home that same day.

 

After 3 weeks of this madness, my wife and I said almost the same thing you did. That next week, we came out to everyone in my neighborhood and it made life so much easier. It just got to be too much work...especially after wanting to be myself in the real world more and more.

 

I think a lot of trans individuals develop that attitude realizing that it’s time to make some major changes just as you did. Congratulations on this next big step in your transition!!

 

My Best,

Susan R?

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 132 Guests (See full list)

    • April Marie
    • Mmindy
    • Petra Jane
    • MaryEllen
    • Wicked juggalo
    • MaeBe
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • SamC
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,029
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Selkimur
    Newest Member
    Selkimur
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      Got a new Granddaughter this morning.  Mother and child (and father) are doing fine. This makes 7 granddaughters and one grandson.  I have 2 sons and 6 daughters myself.  And then I  switched teams.  I think this stuff runs in the family. Another hard day for the patriarchy.
    • Ivy
      Like @MaeBe pointed out, Trump won't do these things personally.  I doubt that he actually gives a rat's a$$ himself.  But he is the foot in the door for the others.   I don't really see this.  Personally, I am all in favor of "traditional" families.  I raised my own kids this way and it can work fine.  But I think we need to allow for other variations as well.   One thing working against this now is how hard it is for a single breadwinner to support a family.  Many people (I know some) would prefer "traditional" if they could actually afford it.  Like I mentioned, we raised our family with this model, but we were always right at the poverty level.   I was a "conservative evangelical" for most of my life, actually.  So I do understand this.  Admittedly, I no longer consider myself one. I have family members still in this camp.  Some tolerate me, one actually rejects me.  I assure you the rejection is on her side, not mine.  But, I understand she believes what she is doing is right - 'sa pity though. I mean no insult toward anyone on this forum.  You're free to disagree with me.  Many people do.   This is a pretty complex one.  Socialism takes many forms, many of which we accept without even realizing it.  "Classism" does exist, for what it's worth.  Always has, probably always will.  But I don't feel like that is a subject for this forum.   As for the election, it's shaping up to be another one of those "hold your nose" deals.
    • Ivy
      Just some exerts regarding subjects of interest to me.
    • Ivy
      Yeah.  In my early teens I trained myself out of a few things that I now wish I hadn't.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I was thinking in particular of BLM, who years ago had a 'What We Believe' section that sounded like they were at war with the nuclear family.   I tried to find it. Nope.  Of interest https://www.politifact.com/article/2020/aug/28/ask-politifact-does-black-lives-matter-aim-destroy/   My time is limited and I will try to answer as I can.
    • Ivy
      Well, I suppose it is possible that they don't actually plan on doing what they say.  I'm not too sure I want to take that chance.  But I kinda expect to find out.  Yet, perhaps you're right and it's all just talk.  And anyway, my state GOP is giving me enough to worry about anyway. I remember a time when being "woke" just meant you were paying attention.  Now it means you are the antichrist. I just don't want the government "protecting" me from my personal "delusions."
    • MaeBe
      1.  I think there are some legitimate concern.   2. Thoroughly discussing this will consume many threads.   3. I disagree partially with @MaeBe but there is partial agreement.   4. The context includes what is happening in society that the authors are observing.  It is not an isolated document.   The observation is through a certain lens, because people do things differently doesn't mean they're doing it wrong. Honestly, a lot of the conservative rhetoric is morphing desires of people to be treated with respect and social equity to be tantamount to the absolution of the family, heterosexuality, etc. Also, being quiet and trying to blend in doesn't change anything. Show me a social change that benefits a minority or marginalized group that didn't need to be loud.   5. Trump, if elected, is as likely to spend his energies going after political opponents as he is to implementing something like this.   Trump will appoint people to do this, like Roger Severino (who was appointed before, who has a record of anti-LGBTQ+ actions), he need not do anything beyond this. His people are ready to push this agenda forward. While the conservative right rails about bureaucracy, they intend to weaponize it. There is no question. They don't want to simplify government, they simply want to fire everyone and bring in conservative "warriors" (their rhetoric). Does America survive 4 year cycles of purge/cronyism?   6. I reject critical theory, which is based on Marxism.  Marxism has never worked and never will.  Critical theory has problems which would need time to go into, which I do not have.   OK, but this seems like every other time CRT comes up with conservatives...completely out of the blue. I think it's reference is mostly just to spark outrage from the base. Definitely food thought for a different thread, though.   7. There are groups who have declared war on the nuclear family as problematically patriarchal, and a lot of other terms. They are easy to find on the internet.  This document is reacting to that (see #4 above).   What is the war on the nuclear family? I searched online and couldn't find much other than reasons why people aren't getting married as much or having kids (that wasn't a propaganda from Heritage or opinions pieces from the right that paint with really broad strokes). Easy things to see: the upward mobility and agency of women, the massive cost of rearing children, general negative attitudes about the future, male insecurity, etc. None of this equates to a war on the nuclear family, but I guess if you look at it as "men should be breadwinners and women must get married for financial support and extend the male family line (and to promote "National Greatness") I could see the decline of marriage as a sign of the collapse of a titled system and, if I was a beneficiary of that system or believe that to NOT be tilted, be aggrieved.   8.  Much of this would have to be legislated, and this is a policy documented.  Implementation would  be most likely different, but that does not mean criticism is unwarranted.   "It might be different if you just give it a chance", unlike all the other legislation that's out there targeting LGBTQ+ from the right, these are going to be different? First it will be trans rights, then it will be gay marriage, and then what? Women's suffrage?   I get it, we may have different compasses, but it's not hard to see that there's no place for queer people in the conservative worldview. There seems to be a consistent insistence that "America was and is no longer Great", as if the 1950s were the pinnacle of society, completely ignoring how great America still is and can continue to be--without having to regress society to the low standards of its patriarchal yesteryears.    
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Cadillac parts are pretty expensive, so repairing them costs more.  But they don't seem to break down more than other makes.  Lots of Lincoln models use Ford cars as a base, so you can get parts that aren't much more expensive.    My family has had good luck with "Panther platform" cars.  Ford Crown Victoria, Mercury Marquis, Lincoln Towncar or Continental.  4.6 V8 and 5.0 V8.  Reasonable fuel economy, and fairly durable.  Our county sheriff's office was running Chargers and SUV's for a while, but has gone back to older Crown Victorias for ease of maintenance.  GF rebuilds them here.  But they are getting more scarce, since the newest ones were made in 2011.    1992-1997 years were different than the later years.  1998-2001 they did some changes, and apparently the best years are 2003 to 2011.  Check Craigslist, and also government auctions.  GF has gotten a lot of them at auction, and they can be had in rough-but-running shape for around $1,000.  Ones in great shape can be found in the $5,000+ range.  Good for 200,000 miles without significant rebuilding.  Go through engine and transmission and electrical systems, and they go half a million.    Some Chrysler models are OK.  The 300 mostly has the same engines as the Charger and Challenger, so parts availability is pretty good.  But they tend to get timing issues.  The older Chrysler Sebring convertibles were pretty reliable, sometimes going 200,000 miles without tons of problems, although after that they were pretty much worn out. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think I have read everything the Southern Baptists have to say on transgender, and it helped convince me they are dead wrong on these issues.  They can be nice people.  I would never join an SBC church.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You come across as a thoughtful, sweet, interesting and pleasant person.    There are parts of this country, and more so the world, where evangelicals experience a great deal of finger wagging.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      It has been an interesting experience being in a marriage in a Christian faith community, yet being intersex/trans.  I stay pretty quiet, and most have kind of accepted that I'm just the strange, harmless exception.  "Oh, that's just Jen.  Jen is...different."  I define success as being a person most folks just overlook. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, I live in an area with a lot of Southern Baptists, Evangelicals, etc...  We've experienced our share of finger-wagging, as the "standard interpretation" of Scripture in the USA is that the Bible only approves of "one man, one woman" marriage.  My faith community is mostly accepted here, but that has taken time and effort.  It can be tough at times to continue to engage with culture and the broader population, and avoid the temptation to huddle up behind walls like a cult.    Tolerance only goes so far.  At one point, my husband was asked to run for sheriff.  He declined, partly because an elected official with four wives would have a REALLY tough time.  (Of course, making way less than his current salary wasn't an option either). 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      My bone structure is far more female than male.  I can't throw like a guy, which has been observed by guys numerous times, and moving like a woman is more natural.  It just is.  I'm not going out of my way to act in a fem. way, as you say, but I am letting go of some of the 'I am not going to move like that because I am a guy' stuff I have defensively developed.  The other breaks through anyway - there were numerous looks from people at work when I would use gestures that are forbidden to men, or say something spontaneously no guy would ever say.   At one point, maybe a year or more ago, I said it was unfair for people to think they were dealing with a man when they were actually dealing with a woman.    Girl here.  'What is a woman' is a topic for another day.
    • Willow
      Mom, I’m home!  What’s for lunch?   Leftover pizza .   ok.    Not exactly our conversation but there is truth in the answer.     @KymmieLsorry you are sick. Feel better soon.   Girl mode, boy mode no mode, not us. Nothing functional for either of us.   anyone here have or had a 10 year old (plus or minus) Caddy, Lincoln or Chrysler?  How was it?  Lots of repairs?  Comfortable seats? Anything positive or negative about it?  I need to replace my 2004 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer, it’s eating $100 dollar bills and needs a couple of thousand dollars worth of work and that doesn’t even fix the check engine code.  Obviously, it isn’t worth putting that kind of money into a 20 year old car with a 174 thousand miles.   Willow
    • Ashley0616
      Oversized pink shirt, pink and black sports bra
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...