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Guest Paula :)

I'm not really sure if this is right place for introductions ...

I'm Paula and my partner Kim has posted here quite a bit over the past few weeks. I'm so glad she found this wonderful forum, it has helped her such a great deal and I too am so glad that I can come here to laugh, cry and sometimes just generally vent!

I discovered about nine months ago now that I was XXY, and that answered so many lfe long questions for me. I had a horrible childhood. My earliest memories are mostly of not quite fitting in ... my parents and my teachers trying to make me do boy things when all I wanted to do was be one of the girls. A close relative whom we spent a lot of time with raped and tortured me for 6 years. I now know I was both convenient and an easy target given my differences. I left home at 15 to escape the abuse, and tried most of my life to be a boy ... to varying degrees of success.

When I met my partner Kim, I guess I felt like I had to be honest with someone for the first time, and to be honest, it was the hardest road to travel. She was really quite heterosexual, and while I tried to be as male as I could for her, it just didn't work out very well.

After finally bringing up my gender issues with my Therapist, she did some research and suggested I go to our local Government gender clinic. It was kind of a revelation for me. I had spent so long denying the abuse and trying to hide that I felt so much was wrong with me, to finally be honest and say, 'look, I'm female. I know it. I've always felt like it. I don't fit in with boys.' was such a refreshing and positive feeling.

I tried to hide a lot of this feeling from Kim, because I allowed myself to love her, the first real love in my life, and I just didn't want to lose her. She had been quite, for want of a better term, hostile about my gender issues in the past, which I now know was more about me hiding things from her and being dishonest, and about her own sexual identity issues than about whether I was a boy or a girl.

I now know she has always been attracted to very manly men in the past, and I guess I was quite the culture shock to her.

Anyway, I'm transitioning now. I've been on HRT for just a few weeks, but I have to say the changes have been quite remarkable in such a short time. I'm guessing this has more to do with my chromosome condition than anything else.

I think the most positive thing is I'm HAPPY. I feel right for the first time in my life. I don't look in the mirror and see a monster, I see the girl that always should have been looking back at me.

Kim has been wonderful. We talk of Paul dying ... she split up with him, and she met me a while later. She has been so wonderfully supportive, telling me that I'm just beautiful all the time, buying me flowers, she even proposed to me and gave me the most beautiful engagement ring I have ever seen. I'm just such a lucky girl.

I'm not saying everything is peachy for me though, even though I've always been quite an androgynous looking male, my features are still a bit masculine, and I'm still scared when I go out in public. The local shopkeepers have all been wonderful and have mostly said I look much better as a girl than I ever did as a boy.

I've had issues with my family, which I'm sure everyone does. My sister Nic has been very supportive, but my little sister Lisa has been less than great.

Anyway, I'll add more as time goes on I guess. Such a big thank you to those who made a site like this possible, I just know that it will be such a big help for me and I hope that I can post here and one day help other people as well.

Love and happy thoughts,

Paula.

Link to comment

Hi Paula,

It is so nice to have you here and I am so glad that things are working out for you and Kim!

Come on in and sit down, I'll get you some cookies and a glass of chocolate milk.

It is a way to make you feel welcome and when everyone smells fresh cookies they know that we have a new member and they will come runningto meet you but I would take more than one cookie.

We are friendly and family oriented here so just make yourself at home.

Welcome to the friendlieat place on Earth.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest ~Brenda~

Well Hello Paula!!

I am so glad that you have joined Laura's!! Yes, we all laugh, cry, vent, love, and offer hope, and support for each other. This place is so wonderful as you will soon see! I am glad that overall you have had a positive experience lately, and I do hope that continues!!

Welcome hon, and to really experience how wonderful Laura's is.... POST, POST, POST darling

Love

bernii

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Guest Impossible Princess

Hi Paula,

Welcome to the family pussycat. Its really great that you and Kim have been able to find us

I really look forward to getting to know you

Impossible Princess

Samantha-Lee

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Guest Donna Jean

Oh my..........

Paula, Sweetheart.....

That seems to have been hard....

But...

You know what?

You are here with so many others like you that understand and care....

We do care....

You'll find love and acceptance......

I'm Donna Jean.....I care...we'll get you settled in and you can start to get your head together....OK?

you are loved....

HUGGS

Donna Jean

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Guest Paula :)

Thanks honeys,

I really appreciate the wonderful support and sense of family here. I've had such a hormonal day and reading your lovely replies has made me feel so much better. I do so hope I can do the same for you someday.

Much love and happy thoughts,

Paula <3

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Guest Elizabeth K

Paula

Heartbreaking and heartwarming posting.

We welcome you home to Laura's - you will find the nicest people here. I am so pleased to hear you say you have finally found yourself and how you are.

WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME

Lizzy

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Guest Frank67

Hi Paula,

you found the right place to be yourself, everyone here is so accepting and no intro is too long to know people better.

Let me welcome you home to Laura's. It is so good that you are "HAPPY" I can't see girls being sad. Good to know that your sister Nic and Kim has been supportive.

Frank

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Guest Marissa Anastasia

Hello Paula, and welcome to our family!! You will find warmth, experience and compassion here...you have come to the right place.

Again, welcome!!

Love,

Marissa

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  • Admin

Hi, Paula! I just want to join my friends whom you've already met and say WELCOME. Laura's is a great site and you

are among friends here. We're all here to support one another and you'll find great resources

and information too. Please post as often as you can. We want to hear from you, dear.

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
Guest brenda lee
I'm not really sure if this is right place for introductions ...

I'm Paula and my partner Kim has posted here quite a bit over the past few weeks. I'm so glad she found this wonderful forum, it has helped her such a great deal and I too am so glad that I can come here to laugh, cry and sometimes just generally vent!

I discovered about nine months ago now that I was XXY, and that answered so many lfe long questions for me. I had a horrible childhood. My earliest memories are mostly of not quite fitting in ... my parents and my teachers trying to make me do boy things when all I wanted to do was be one of the girls. A close relative whom we spent a lot of time with raped and tortured me for 6 years. I now know I was both convenient and an easy target given my differences. I left home at 15 to escape the abuse, and tried most of my life to be a boy ... to varying degrees of success.

When I met my partner Kim, I guess I felt like I had to be honest with someone for the first time, and to be honest, it was the hardest road to travel. She was really quite heterosexual, and while I tried to be as male as I could for her, it just didn't work out very well.

After finally bringing up my gender issues with my Therapist, she did some research and suggested I go to our local Government gender clinic. It was kind of a revelation for me. I had spent so long denying the abuse and trying to hide that I felt so much was wrong with me, to finally be honest and say, 'look, I'm female. I know it. I've always felt like it. I don't fit in with boys.' was such a refreshing and positive feeling.

I tried to hide a lot of this feeling from Kim, because I allowed myself to love her, the first real love in my life, and I just didn't want to lose her. She had been quite, for want of a better term, hostile about my gender issues in the past, which I now know was more about me hiding things from her and being dishonest, and about her own sexual identity issues than about whether I was a boy or a girl.

I now know she has always been attracted to very manly men in the past, and I guess I was quite the culture shock to her.

Anyway, I'm transitioning now. I've been on HRT for just a few weeks, but I have to say the changes have been quite remarkable in such a short time. I'm guessing this has more to do with my chromosome condition than anything else.

I think the most positive thing is I'm HAPPY. I feel right for the first time in my life. I don't look in the mirror and see a monster, I see the girl that always should have been looking back at me.

Kim has been wonderful. We talk of Paul dying ... she split up with him, and she met me a while later. She has been so wonderfully supportive, telling me that I'm just beautiful all the time, buying me flowers, she even proposed to me and gave me the most beautiful engagement ring I have ever seen. I'm just such a lucky girl.

I'm not saying everything is peachy for me though, even though I've always been quite an androgynous looking male, my features are still a bit masculine, and I'm still scared when I go out in public. The local shopkeepers have all been wonderful and have mostly said I look much better as a girl than I ever did as a boy.

I've had issues with my family, which I'm sure everyone does. My sister Nic has been very supportive, but my little sister Lisa has been less than great.

Anyway, I'll add more as time goes on I guess. Such a big thank you to those who made a site like this possible, I just know that it will be such a big help for me and I hope that I can post here and one day help other people as well.

Love and happy thoughts,

Paula.

Paula, Hi , Sweetie ,Nice to meet you. I am Brenda Lee and I too grew up as a boy ,however deep inside I knew that I wa a girl. This is a wonderful place to be .LOL Brenda Lee

Link to comment
Guest Ashlee

Hello Paula,

So nice that you have found us too.

And so great that you have a wonderful supportive partner to enjoy your new life together.

{HUGS}

Ashlee

Link to comment

Well from one Paula to another Paula i welcome you, anytime i smell Sally's cookies i come a running, you have already met some wonderful people and more probably smell those cookies and are on their way to also say hello.

HUGS!

The other Paula

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      Major mood, right here ^^^    I've listened to Lumineers to a long time (a major portion of it by osmosis via my mom), so that is almost painfully relatable
    • RaineOnYourParade
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    • RaineOnYourParade
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    • Abigail Genevieve
      For one thing, the practice of putting into office wholly unqualified people simply because of racial, sexual or national characteristics.  It is no accident that Karine is a Haitian immigrant, Black and lesbian.  Kamala Harris is a Black female. Pete Buttigieg is gay.  Often you find that Biden explicitly stated that this is why he hired them, not because of competence, but because they checked so many boxes on his little list.  It makes a mockery of people and is a disservice to the US. 
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      Hey girl  I had a problem like you happen to me also. In my first year of estrogen I had a period where my level were good then they got really bad where my testosterone spike high.  I felt like you with all that disforia coming hard. Our bodies need time to adjust. The process is a real pain in the beginning. It levels out eventually and you don't even think about it. Hang in there hugs 
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    • KatieSC
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    • KatieSC
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      I don't think it should be.  Nor do I see Project 2025 as pushing Christian nationalism.
    • Abigail Genevieve
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    • FinnyFinsterHH
      I hope to eventually wear a suit for dance but don't know what exactly to look for. I feel like jumpsuit is safe option but I have been interested in wearing button up and formal pants. Is there a certain brand i should look for or sites I should look at for tips? My mom is not exactly keen on me wearing too masc clothing like suits just yet but is okay with jumpsuits. Also is there hair styling tips availible, my hair looks like image below. I might be able to get shorter haircut like pixie but am not sure yet.  
    • MaeBe
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    • MaeBe
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