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Had first appt for HRT - feeling nervous!


Myles97

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Hi everyone. I’ve been offline for a bit but wanted to share an update and maybe get some advice. I had my first appointment for HRT yesterday. They did all of my labs and wen through all the exams. The dr is going to call Monday to let me if my body can handle being on T. She said based off of everything else, she doesn’t foresee there being any problems. I do not plan on officially doing my first injection until my birthday, March 26. I want to get past some major work deadlines I have at the end of February and let it be on my birthday as a milestone. To be honest, I’m really nervous about it. It is something I want so bad, but I just hope that I won’t regret it. I always get nervous about big changes, no matter if those changes are for better or worse. For other folks that have started HRT or contemplated it, what are some questions you asked yourself before starting? Is there anything particular you recommend I think about or discuss with my therapist before taking the leap? Anything you wish you would’ve known before starting? I’m feeling confident in my knowledge thus far from the dr and my therapist, but it is always nice to hear from you folx. Thanks for any replies! I am forever grateful for the help and support that you all have provided for me ! 

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Hi Myles, this is super exciting news! I'm hopeful that everything will come together so that your "re-birthday" coincides with your actual birthday as you hope!

 

I started HRT not too long ago. I know I had questions and doubts, and I think it's natural to be nervous about taking a big step like this one, especially one so life-changing. It's wonderful that you have a supportive doctor and therapist. If you have anxieties about starting, write them down between appointments so that you can bring them up when you see them. I find that sometimes getting this stuff out on paper helps me organize my thoughts and keep them out of my head where they can influence my feelings. My decision to start ultimately came down to this: by starting HRT (in my case, estrogen), will the changes I could expect help me better express the person I know myself to be? The answer was an emphatic YES. I feel like that outweighed any potential health risks or concern about how others might react. Now that I'm a few months in, I can confidently say that I have no regrets.

 

Hope this helps!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

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13 hours ago, Audrey said:

Hi Myles, this is super exciting news! I'm hopeful that everything will come together so that your "re-birthday" coincides with your actual birthday as you hope!

 

I started HRT not too long ago. I know I had questions and doubts, and I think it's natural to be nervous about taking a big step like this one, especially one so life-changing. It's wonderful that you have a supportive doctor and therapist. If you have anxieties about starting, write them down between appointments so that you can bring them up when you see them. I find that sometimes getting this stuff out on paper helps me organize my thoughts and keep them out of my head where they can influence my feelings. My decision to start ultimately came down to this: by starting HRT (in my case, estrogen), will the changes I could expect help me better express the person I know myself to be? The answer was an emphatic YES. I feel like that outweighed any potential health risks or concern about how others might react. Now that I'm a few months in, I can confidently say that I have no regrets.

 

Hope this helps!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

 

13 hours ago, Audrey said:

Hi Myles, this is super exciting news! I'm hopeful that everything will come together so that your "re-birthday" coincides with your actual birthday as you hope!

 

I started HRT not too long ago. I know I had questions and doubts, and I think it's natural to be nervous about taking a big step like this one, especially one so life-changing. It's wonderful that you have a supportive doctor and therapist. If you have anxieties about starting, write them down between appointments so that you can bring them up when you see them. I find that sometimes getting this stuff out on paper helps me organize my thoughts and keep them out of my head where they can influence my feelings. My decision to start ultimately came down to this: by starting HRT (in my case, estrogen), will the changes I could expect help me better express the person I know myself to be? The answer was an emphatic YES. I feel like that outweighed any potential health risks or concern about how others might react. Now that I'm a few months in, I can confidently say that I have no regrets.

 

Hope this helps!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

Audrey 

I always look forward to seeing your replies!! Thanks for always helping and making me feel validated. I don’t have many folks I can openly talk to about this, so it’s nice to know you’re there!! 
your post makes me feel much better. On Tik tok and YouTube when I watch videos about trans folks starting hrt and all, they seem so confident. Basically they make it seem like “you aren’t trans if you have any doubts” and it feels a little exclusionary. Not saying anything bad about folks like that, but I think pushing that narrative can be harmful for us folks that are just now feeling safe enough to start processing their gender identity. In my heart, I know more than anything that I want to be Myles, he/him. My brain is just having a hard time with deciding whether the benefits outweigh the costs. But my problem that I am working through with my therapist is learning to live my life and decide things for myself, not anyone else. I have a hard time with that though. All of my hesitations are tied up with being afraid of my family disowning me and having a hard time in the workplace. 
but I think you’re right - I know that I will be happier being my authentic self. I am so glad that HRT is going well for you!!! That’s so exciting. I hope that I am able to say that in a few months! 

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It is good to see you Myles.  As i look back a bit i remember being fearful and yet excited about starting HRT.  I had seen a therapist and jumped through multiple hoops with medical issues.  Perhaps the effort itself strengthened my resolve.  I had to look at my whole life and try to understand myself. ( i doubt that is completely possible).  In the end i made the plunge, doubts and all.  Over time the consequences for family and friends have healed.  Life has gone on and i am finally at peace with my gender issues. 

In short doubts and fears we certainly part of my journey.  Consider things well and enjoy your  journey as much as you can.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize 

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Dear Myles, you're very welcome! Thank you for your kind words as well.

 

2 hours ago, Myles97 said:

On Tik tok and YouTube when I watch videos about trans folks starting hrt and all, they seem so confident. Basically they make it seem like “you aren’t trans if you have any doubts” and it feels a little exclusionary. Not saying anything bad about folks like that, but I think pushing that narrative can be harmful for us folks that are just now feeling safe enough to start processing their gender identity.

I've watched my share of videos too. I feel that videos only show a small sliver of the diverse experience of being transgender, but because they're highly visible, it can be easy to fall into the trap of believing that everyone's experience should be like that. I also think it would be unusual if a transgender person *didn't* have doubts about their gender identity / expression or deciding to transition. We are socialized from a very young age to belong to a gender that matches our sex assigned at birth, and society reinforces the roles in every way. Challenging those would make anyone anxious, especially knowing that doing so could mean being isolated and vulnerable. That pressure kept me hidden for decades, though in hindsight, I knew from childhood.

 

2 hours ago, Myles97 said:

But my problem that I am working through with my therapist is learning to live my life and decide things for myself, not anyone else.

So true. If I spent all my time and energy making everyone else happy, there would be nothing left of me!

 

2 hours ago, Myles97 said:

All of my hesitations are tied up with being afraid of my family disowning me and having a hard time in the workplace.

I relate to this very much. I'm out to my first coworker as of about two weeks ago, and she's been wonderfully supportive ever since. I wonder how my boss and the rest of my colleagues will react, and especially how my clients will react - how much hidden transphobia will I reveal? I also worry about my family, there are some hyper-religious transphobes there, but I am holding off on coming out to anyone yet mostly because of a very ill relative who's on hospice. It's true that we can't know how people will accept us until we finally come out, but my therapist shared something that's helped me find courage to come out that might help you too. People may be surprised to learn that you're transgender and transitioning, and they may struggle to accept and understand. But in the end, people will see that they haven't lost the person they've always known because all those things they love about you are still true. And they'll see that you are much happier too, and hopefully they'll join you in celebrating your happiness.

 

I look forward to hearing about your next steps, Myles!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

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