I feel like transitioning is a 12 step program.

[Red_Lauren.]

I'll say I never had a alcohol or drug problem, so I really don't know the program real well, but it feels like it im going through the program. 

 

As I am almost 2 months in to hormones. I've changed a lot in my personal life because of the end goal, and right now I'm kinda freaking out. Not in a bad way. Mostly because my goals are happening in tiny steps, and quicker then I Thought would happen. on my own terms now. Instead of other people's terms.Don't get me wrong. There has been downers, but with friends. I've been able to deal with that. 

 

I've cut out the bad people in my life. Which were causing me the problems. I found my self, and got hormones, I have good and supportive friends. That want to see me secede in my journey, I started a job with more free time, im looking at getting my own Place soon, I started laser, I figured out when I will fully transition, and have plans for what I'm going to do after. 

 

Maybe I'm just crazy, but it dose seem like a 12 step program im some way.

[VickySGV]

As a Recovering Addict who got clean and sober in order to Transition and did them both at the same time, I will agree there is a parallel between the two.  In both situations, you are having to undo some things that kept you from being the best person you could be.  You have to learn Self Honesty to an extend you never knew before, and you have to go back and re-make relationships ruined by either being drunk / high or by being a hyperperson of the wrong gender.  We do have to find a spiritual side of us even if not a religion or we will lose the strength we need to move forward.  We have to keep doing this, often going back and making course corrections in our lives, and then we have to be ready to help others on the same course we are sailing to find their way and peace.  I have worked both programs side by side for going on 13 years soon.  Quite an adventure.

[Gabriel]

This is so interesting and it really shines a new light on the journey of transition. Finding new words to describe a process from people who have lived it helps to find context and put structure to it, instead of feeling lost in the whirlwind. For me the sentence "have to go back and re-make relationships ruined by (...) being a hyperperson" brings understanding and peace. Thank you Red_Lauren for bringing it up, and thank you Vicky because that perspective really helps.

[Red_Lauren.]

Vicky, self honesty is what hit me the most. I knew I wasn't 100% happy as a man. Yes there was good days where I was happy, but for the most part I was miserable. I've also been helping a friend deal with breast cancer. She beat it by the way. I know it's not the same thing I'm doing, but its life changing for her. We both have a dry sense of humor. So we understand eachother well, and I hope our joking around. Helped her get through some bad stuff, and forgot what she's dealing with. 

 

Gabriel, that was the Closest thing I could think of to describe what I'm going through. In reality getting sober, and transitioning really dose have a lot in common. Both are life changing, and can save people, but both are really tuff with out the right support. Many relapse and die, and in the trans world. There is a lot of suicide. 

[KymmieL]

Yeah, My wife thinks I need to work a twelve step program to stop my transition. My wife Has been in AA for over 32 yrs.

 

Kymmie

[VickySGV]

1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

My wife Has been in AA

 

There are special AA groups FOR Trans people and national AA literature actually says  the Alcohol can be controlled by the program, but the Steps DO NOT work for LGBT control, only medical assistance will work.  Congratulations to her, but she needs to re-up her program knowledge.

[Guest]

Perhaps transition should be an Eight Fold Path? I feel as though I’m going through numerous challenges in order to find enlightenment: from getting my “letter”,  endocrinologist referral, hair removal, coming out to friends, family and peers. It’s hard work.....some pain and suffering, but liberating and enlightening.

[KymmieL]

8 hours ago, VickySGV said:

 

There are special AA groups FOR Trans people and national AA literature actually says  the Alcohol can be controlled by the program, but the Steps DO NOT work for LGBT control, only medical assistance will work.  Congratulations to her, but she needs to re-up her program knowledge.

Vicky, Thank you for the insight. Now I just need to find that information in black and white hard copy to shove in her face. Knowing her she wouldn't read it.

 

Kymmie

[Jackie C.]

9 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Yeah, My wife thinks I need to work a twelve step program to stop my transition. My wife Has been in AA for over 32 yrs.

 

A twelve-step-program to... stop... being... trans..?

 

So yeah, had I tried that I'm pretty sure I would have stopped it in one step. Of course had I taken that step (and oh boy I was close) my wife would be a widow. Way too many of us take that step.

 

I really wish all our partners could reach down and find that spark of selfless, unconditional love that just wants us to be happy. Isn't supporting your partner what a relationship is supposed to be about?

 

Hugs!

[Red_Lauren.]

14 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Yeah, My wife thinks I need to work a twelve step program to stop my transition. My wife Has been in AA for over 32 yrs.

 

Kymmie

Im glad I was never married, and I don't plan on getting marred. My family at one point was pushing me to get married in my 20s. All so I could have a stable life, or so they thought. I know my life would have been worst if I got married, and would be more then likely worst now.  

[Charlize]

AA simply does not do that!  We may try to change the things we can but in my lifetimes experience being trans isn't one of those things.  I instead have learned to accept that i am who i am.  Maybe your wife should pay attention to the AA preamble and the Serenity Prayer.  AA has no opinion on outside issues.  It isn't easy for either one of you but the AA 12 steps don't have a relevance here.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Drayse]

On 2/12/2021 at 7:36 PM, KymmieL said:

My wife thinks I need to work a twelve step program to stop my transition.

Sounds like she'd be a fan of conversion therapy, which has been debunked. And as others have pointed out, AA isn't about conversion therapy.

 

On 2/13/2021 at 3:21 AM, KymmieL said:

Now I just need to find that information in black and white hard copy to shove in her face.

Here's a link that might help get you started. But as you said, she'll likely just double down in the face of verifiable evidence. Good luck either way. ❤️

 

https://www.glaad.org/conversiontherapy?response_type=embed