Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

UK's first' LGBT retirement community to open in London


Maid In Bedlam

Recommended Posts

What is described as the UK's first retirement community celebrating LGBT+ people is set to open.

 

 

Whats your thoughts on this?

 

Would it be that those members of society are being segragated? Over 55s have been able to rent flats specifically in areas for people of an older age group for many years. But in reality thats a diffrent ball park.

 

I know you have a few in states for the lgbt members of society! for exampleStonewall Gardens in Palm Springs.  Do they work?

 

Would you want to move into one or do you see is as a way of keeping you seperate from a society that you endevour to be accepting?

 

BBC Link here

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I'm hesitant about seeing the LGBT community separated from the rest of society.  Our presence and existence as older folks must be helpful for younger folks.  Knowing that we can't "fit in" is a sad comment.  At the same time i do have to laugh at the idea of how i may look if i get past being able to care for myself.  My beard is light and i haven't dealt with that issue.  I'll just be the bearded old lady if i stop shaving long enough.?

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

I am sure that the people concerned mean well, but segregation is not necessarily a good idea.  The concept of LGBT people being one group, with common interests and needs, is something that I am also sceptical about.

 

Robin.

Link to comment

Nope. Surely our whole aim of transition is to do just that. Transition and dissapear. Blend in. vanish. Live who we really are. Who wants a red flag advertising who you are / were? And singled out as a constant reminder?  Equal rights for all should mean just just that. No exceptions. Education should bring us together not pidgeon hole us for being different.

Link to comment
  • Admin
2 hours ago, Robin said:

I am sure that the people concerned mean well, but segregation is not necessarily a good idea.  The concept of LGBT people being one group, with common interests and needs, is something that I am also sceptical about.

 

Robin.

 

This!

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I'm a little torn. On the one hand, I don't support any kind of segregation and would like to continue to be out and about among the unwashed masses. On the other hand, if I find myself single as I get older, I would love to know my potential dating pool is all on one place. It would make meeting a new partner much simpler.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Admin

I was recently in a discussion about this with a group of age 65+ LGBT people.  Some of them who have lived on the margins of society for many years have found that they do not share experience with Cis / Het people which would make new friendship difficult and could well leave them in isolation which while not new, would make life difficult or highly depressive.  Having things in common with your "house mates" or close neighbors gives you a sense of community which your have longed for in your working ages, where you can relax share tales and not worry about judgment of who you were or what you did.  Such a place is a Safe Haven.  I have visited a relative who has been in an Assisted Living Condo and she was subject to shunning by other neighbors in it because of her religion (Methodist vs Catholic vs Baptist) and some other factors where she did not fit in.  I was not "out" during my visits there, but there would have been grave problems for her.  I was cautioned by the manager there that many of the residents were Homophobic to points they had to be dealt with about their expression.

 

I do have Gay friends who are in the Palm Springs CA community @Maid In Bedlam mentioned above and for them it is a very good thing.  Both couples (yes married) have fitted in very well with the community, and it is an element of stress off their lives to be in the neighborhood there.  All four of them had been "Activists" in the LGBTQ community and they do have stories to share and relate to.  They do welcome younger people to events on the Community grounds so there is generational intersection that encourages both groups.

In Los Angeles, the LGB Center has a new living complex where LGBT seniors can find affordable housing.  Across the street from it is a short term housing complex for LGBT youth and young adults. The younger people have service commitments to help the senior residents across the street in exchange for low rents, and there is a community area where all of them can intersect with each other. 

For the time being the LGBT does not simply have acceptance to make end of life experiences enjoyable and socially comfortable for the community members. I am eligible by age to move into either facility I know about, but for now I am able to live on my own with no problems (other than forgetting where I put my purse).  I would hope that some day in the not too distant future (40 to 60 years) that LGBTQ seniors could just be part of all communities where their histories and lives could be shared with all, without the horror and disgust in so many of our age group still have for LGBT, until then I vote in favor of the retirement centers.

Link to comment
  • Admin

In California there is a law that requires extended/senior living and assisted living places to not discriminate on the basis of sexual preference or gender expression.  The law is fine, but as Vicky points out (above), that doesn't mean that individuals within those facilities will be as voluntarily tolerant as the management & staff are mandated to be.  I guess it would be up to the facility managers what to do about transphobic or homophobic residents.  Any way you look at it, it would be an uncomfortable situation.

 

That said, I still would not wish to be segregated that way.  Such segregation wouldn't guarantee piece of mind, either.  I know some trans folk whom I would not enjoy living next to.  Ya pays yer money and ya takes yer chances.  :argue:  ;)

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Knowing no trans people whatever locally (at least as far as I know) and just living in the community I don't see any advantage to it. To me it is preferable to live in the general population rather than segregation, which would likely bring as many problems as it solves.

 

Tracy

 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 201 Guests (See full list)

    • Heather Shay
    • Lenneth
    • April Marie
    • LucyF
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,026
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • LucyF
      So an update from me.   Had my endo appointment last night. Went very well and they are sending 3 months supply of estrogen (estradoil patches) and the anti-androgens whilst my Dr gets a shared care agreement sorted out. So happy, should start HRT tomorrow!! Cost for the 3 month supply is £70 total for me, so not too bad. Not told my parents about this yet, but them being in spain, not sure they need to know yet.   Can't wait to start, just got to think about where to put the patches now and wait for the changes...
    • Willow
      Good Morning    well it’s Friday for most, pay day for some.  For me it’s pay day but not Friday.  I work the same opening shift tomorrow.  I typically have Friday on Saturday and Monday on Tuesday.     @KymmieL it does sound like your shop has an issue and you are smack in the thick of it.  The new gal or guy often is.  We have an issue with new people not getting fully trained before being turned loose on customers.  Some struggle through it and some quit because of it.  I try to get them working with customers as quickly as I can but I stay right with them observing, helping, even jumping in when things are getting backed up to keep the stress down.  Not everything comes up during training so when things do, even later after trying is done, I try to help and explain.  Our ASM feels that once she has you scanning barcodes and taking money she is done training.  Generally, refuses to train me on things that she does, and questions why I’m doing something that she normally handles when I’ve been told to do it as part of my advancement training.     She and the cashier involved both keep trying to toss the manager under the bus over a hours of work issue and shifts.  I tell her I realize her issues and I’ll work what ever she needs.  Because of that I tend to get a better more consistent schedule.   Well, time to say Happy Trails to you, until we meet again.   Hi ho Silver, away   Willow
    • Maddee
    • Birdie
      That does get you the 'starting point' for cup size, but manufacturers, style, breast shape, etc... will effect the results.    Step one is of course finding the proper band fit, then figuring out the approximate cup size with the calculations. Of course you need to try on a few styles after that in different cup sizes close to your measured result until you get the perfect fit.    I have bras in a DD that fit just like my bras in DDD both from Torrid but different styles.    I have some DDD's that fit awesome and some that are a bit loose, but I measure a 46G. It's not wonder that 80% of women are wearing them wrong bra. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/man-arrested-accused-of-beating-to-death-transgender-woman-outside-miami-city-ballet/3293404/     May Andrea rest in peace.  If the person in custody is found guilty, hopefully he'll get the punishment he deserves.   Carolyn Marie
    • violet r
      I firmly believe I drank entirely to much for about 25 years. Got drunk every day. This was my coping mechanism to keep hiding deep inside that I was a woman. I miss a lot of signs over the years. Now I drink mabye 1 or 2 beers a day don't even get a buzz anymore. totally accept myself and on regret is that I hide that part of my self which  truly makes me happy being violet 💜. I wasted a lot of time before  being self destructive and had no clue I was just hiding th real me
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Service manager at goes through that here.One was a belt change in a 2019 Kenworth.It was written on the work order including a service done and I seen it.Customer was a complete a-hole.I did it and said he did not want that done.Shown him the original work order and finally said the service manager was right.My boss had to get rid of two customers,always complained about their bill being a little high.Price of parts went up due to inflation and had to explain this to them
    • Tiffany 838
      Well it not morning and I haven’t been on her for a while but it’s nice to be back.  Did some catching up on everyone.  I do have a question, how is Toronto Canada for a get away? Is it a safe and friendly area for us to go.  The wife and I are looking for some where to go to allow me to be my true self.     thanks in advance
    • KymmieL
      Hey, everyone. my life is going down the tubes. at least I think. So, today. A customer called about his car, I told him that the oil change was done. The parts to fix the check engine light are ordered. He can come and get it. For the weekend if he wants. Customer says I didn't want an oil change. it was check the engine light and check for an oil leak. Checking the work order says oil change. The boss wrote the vehicle up. checking with the customer on services wanted.   Being that I wrote down the appointment in the book. and clearly states oil leak. She is complaining because she can't read my small ish writing. It seems she read oil and assumed it as an oil change. It seems like she is blaming me.  She wound up going home because she was too upset. She is stressing about an eye problem she has, she has to get eye surgery it seems she has a tear in her eye.    I feel that I am short for this job. because of the BS they are blaming me on. Plus I am still upset about the trust issue. If either one of the bosses start their Shite tomorrow. I am walking out.    
    • Davie
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "I love you so much,"  Lois said.  They met in the driveway. "I could not live without you." "Neither could I." "What are we going to do?" "Find another counselor?" "No. I think we need to solve this ourselves." "Do you think we can?" "I don't know.  But what I know is that I don't want to go through that again.  I think we have to hope we can find a solution." "Otherwise, despair." "Yeah.   Truce?" "Okay,  truce." And they hugged.   "When we know what we want we can figure out how to get there."   That began six years of angry battles, with Odie insisted he could dress as he pleased and Lois insisting it did not please her at all.  He told her she was not going to control him and she replied that she still had rights as a wife to a husband. Neither was willing to give in, neither was willing to quit, and their heated arguments ended in hugs and more.   They went to a Crossdressers' Club, where they hoped to meet other couples with the same problems, the same conflicts, and the same answers, if anyone had any.  It took them four tries before they settled on a group that they were both willing to participate in.  This was four couples their own age, each with a cross dressing husband and a wife who was dealing with it.  They met monthly.  It was led by a 'mediator' who wanted people to express how they felt about the situation.  Odie and Lois, as newcomers, got the floor, and the meeting was finally dismissed at 1:30 in the morning - it was supposed to be over at 10 - and everyone knew how they felt about the situation.   There was silence in the car on the way home.   "We aren't the only ones dealing with this." Odie finally said.   "Who would have thought that?  You are right."   "Somebody out there has a solution." "I hope you are right."   "I hope in hope, not in despair."   "That's my Odie."    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The counseling session was heated, if you could call it a counseling session.  Sometimes Lois felt he was on Odie's side, and sometimes on hers.  When he was on her side, Odie got defensive. She found herself being defensive when it seemed they were ganging up on each other.   "This is not working," Lois said angrily, and walked out.  "Never again. I want my husband back. Dr. Smith you are complicit in this."   "What?" said Odie.   The counselor looked at him.  "You will have to learn some listening skills."   "That is it? Listening skills?  You just destroyed my marriage, and you told me I need to learn listening skills?"   Dr. Smith said calmly,"I think you both need to cool off."   Odie looked at him and walked out, saying "And you call yourself a counselor."   "Wait a minute."   "No."
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...