Let's talk self doubt

[Charlize]

That is fantastic.  Take that well earned deep breath and relax.  Time may bring changes as everyone gets through your revelation but you have made a big step and deserve a bit of rest.  Fantastic!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Myles97]

Thank you everyone for being along this journey with me so far. I really needed y’all here to help me process through the craziness that was this morning. I love you all so much, and I am finally feeling some relief and affirmation. I hope this continues and that my mom doesn’t regress. 

[KathyLauren]

Wow!  I was all set to post a "fingers crossed" message as I caught up on the posts.  But now I get to post a "congratulations"!  That is awesome that your sister and mother support you!!

[LusciousTheLock]

Congratulations!  Good work

 

[Aggie1]

5 hours ago, Myles97 said:

Thank you everyone for being along this journey with me so far. I really needed y’all here to help me process through the craziness that was this morning. I love you all so much, and I am finally feeling some relief and affirmation. I hope this continues and that my mom doesn’t regress. 

They should put this in the dictionary under the definition of courage! 
 

After you breathe remember to smile!

[Myles97]

@AgnesBardsiethank you!!! I’m trying to breathe and enjoy the moment without worrying about anything that is ahead! 

[Confused1]

Congratulations Myles. So glad you found support from your family!

 

Hugs,

Mike

[Msecret]

I have yet to begin any type of public transition due to uncertainty and fear. I'm glad to hear that you have found acceptance from family. What you did was brave. 

[Linda Marie]

Self Doubt. The feeling of failure, then, the feeling of failure again.

And then that doesn't even come into play again...then you wake up, here I go again, I'm somebody.

[Myles97]

Thank you folks!!! Support from you all is definitely what gave me the courage to do it. I am so very happy!!!! I still have a long way to go on my coming out journey, but I will say my self doubt has decreased a good bit now that I have received so much validation from my immediate family and friends. I think my brain was questioning itself so hard to try and convince me that it wasn’t worth taking the risk of coming out. 

[Drayse]

Definitely @Myles97, self doubt is common. Let's face it; Dysphoria, euphoria, and certainty are emotions and all emotions ebb and flow. When we feel the emotions we "know", when we don't we doubt ourselves. This is probably a good time to plug Dr. Z PhD's latest video that actually covers the topic of self-doubt, coincidentally. ?

 

Jesus, @Jackie C.! If I could recreate my personal timeline as accurately as you I'd probably have transitioned ages ago! ?

 

On 3/5/2021 at 12:51 PM, Jackie C. said:

12 yrs. - "Oh no. My D&D character has inadvertently put on the belt of gender bending

Did this playing a MUD in my early 20s in University. A school mate told me to stop being weird and take that leather bikini armor off my character as well, the weirdo! Didn't he know that it felt great?! Didn't he recall that I played a female character on another game before then (I made a YouTube video regaling this event in my life)? It's so tiring having others police your behaviour and "save" you....

[Betty K]

Hey @myles, congratulations on coming out to your family. I can't come out to my parents because my mum is dead and Dad has dementia but I have recently come out to my sister and she has been hugely supportive, so I can imagine how great that must feel.

 

Also thank you so much for articulating these thoughts about self-doubt. I am beginning to feel that the mainstream view of what it means to be transgender is still way too binary for me. I don't feel I'll ever suddenly just "realise I am a really woman" and was a woman all along, but I don't feel that should exclude me from treatment just because I'm not so certain of my gender identity. I feel my gender is far more fluid than that.

 

I'd also say, though, that I don't think this fetish for certainty is confined to mainstream views of transgender issues. I have encountered it before and it always irks me. Think of politics: so many people seem to believe and trust the politician who shows certainty over the one who shows self-doubt, or doubt of any kind. Uncertainty is seen as weakness. But I believe the opposite. Uncertainty shows a willingness to listen to all sides of an argument, a willingness to learn. The world needs more uncertainty!

 

So yeah, I'm with you all the way.