I came out at work today.

[Guest]

I’ve been wanting to do this for a month but we’ve had a revolving desk of managers. Our Post Office Operations Manager (POOM) spent a week helping the office out and I decided to come out to her and see if she could help me figure out the USPS’s transgender policy. To my surprise she was excited to help me and had answers for me in short order. She also wanted to be there when I came out.

 

This morning I gave a little speech summarizing my journey, my name and pronouns, and letting everyone know I’ll be using the women’s bathroom. I received a lot of love from my coworkers afterwards though my managers cautioned me to watch out for harassment since there are some that are strongly opposed to me using the bathroom that matches my gender.

 

I’m glad to get this out of the way.

[Willow McKenzie]

Good for you!

 

    I have found quite a bit of acceptance throughout the coming out process.   Most of the time I have expected the worst, swallowed hard, and pushed forward just to find everyone else having less of a problem adjusting than I was.   I have had several people tell me "they always knew".   Wish they had told me years ago, I knew.

 

Willow McKenzie

[PixieOfTheHills]

The impression I have is that gender issues are received in a rather polarised manner. There are some who really are quite ok with it and on the other extreme there are those who’d have every transgender person put up against the wall. Then, too , there are some who wish to be woke and make a bad job of it because they don’t actually know what they’re talking about. 
 

Like yesterday I was texting with my sis discussing how I’d had my navel pierced. She always tries to be modern and woke. She said ‘That’s fine, but I’d never have it done, and I’m a WOMAN’. 
 

Errrrrr....... hello? You just told me that as a male (in your eyes) I’m not supposed to have one. (I didn’t say tht to her, this is what I thought). 
 

The thing is, navel piercings, had popularity in the 90’s and the early years of the century. Well, it’s currently coming back into fashion, but..... people passing comment don’t know that......

 

 And....... there are a lot of amab who have one...... but...... you don’t know it. ?

[Guest]

8 hours ago, Willow Farmer said:

Good for you!

 

    I have found quite a bit of acceptance throughout the coming out process.   Most of the time I have expected the worst, swallowed hard, and pushed forward just to find everyone else having less of a problem adjusting than I was.   I have had several people tell me "they always knew".   Wish they had told me years ago, I knew.

 

Willow McKenzie

It seems to me that younger people are more accepting. I’ve had an easy time coming out too. I think it helps that I live in Colorado. 

[Guest]

8 hours ago, PixieOfTheHills said:

The impression I have is that gender issues are received in a rather polarised manner. There are some who really are quite ok with it and on the other extreme there are those who’d have every transgender person put up against the wall. Then, too , there are some who wish to be woke and make a bad job of it because they don’t actually know what they’re talking about. 
 

Like yesterday I was texting with my sis discussing how I’d had my navel pierced. She always tries to be modern and woke. She said ‘That’s fine, but I’d never have it done, and I’m a WOMAN’. 
 

Errrrrr....... hello? You just told me that as a male (in your eyes) I’m not supposed to have one. (I didn’t say tht to her, this is what I thought). 
 

The thing is, navel piercings, had popularity in the 90’s and the early years of the century. Well, it’s currently coming back into fashion, but..... people passing comment don’t know that......

 

 And....... there are a lot of amab who have one...... but...... you don’t know it. ?

I’ve received a few “where I come from they shoot people like you” looks since coming out. The people who hate folks like us seem to be angry at everything and everyone.

[LusciousTheLock]

Ah, the great bathroom debate. It was the first thing that was asked when I came out at work. Luckily sandwiched between the ladies and the gents are the dissabled... And they are the cleanest lol. I decided it would be the easiest option, until I'm further along. Strangely, now everyones joined me in this toilet... Its where the cool kids hang out

 

Congrats on your progress xx

[Willow McKenzie]

10 hours ago, Erica Gabriel said:

It seems to me that younger people are more accepting. I’ve had an easy time coming out too. I think it helps that I live in Colorado

That is true!  

   My grandsons live in a seriously redneck town and the older one said,"WOW, you get to live 2 genders in one lifetime.   The younger grandson said " I have a friend I really like in school who was born a girl but they are really a boy.

   As for older people,  I feared the worst from them but------.    I turned 62, terrible divorce, prostate cancer, and customers not paying their bills.   So I just transitioned and outed myself---I can live on social security.    Here I am 6 years later.  Name and gender marker changed, no detectable PSA, and  Half my customers are older than me and I have more business than I want.  Most older people judge you on your goodness and integrity and will try to accept your gender confusion.

 

  Willow McKenzie

[Vidanjali]

Thanks for sharing this, @Erica Gabriel. It is heartening - I'm happy to hear you're as supported as you are. Continued best of luck!

 

I am non-binary and so far only out to one person at work, but no one in my department. I work at a generally liberal higher ed institution. Ironically, there is increasing pressure at work to append one's email signature and zoom name with one's pronouns - but this initiative comes from colleagues who are cis. I actually dread the moment I'm in a meeting that would begin with introductions including pronouns because I neither want to invalidate myself nor out myself on the spot nor be the only one in the room who doesn't want to share that. I've been easing out of a phase of many years during which I presented as rather hyper-femme in an effort to "fit in" (I am afab). I felt like I was in drag all that time, and frankly it did not help much with dysphoria. I've gotten mixed comments from my immediate colleagues on the relatively recent changes in my appearance. Some have complemented my now more masculine haircut, but one male colleague makes mocking comments about how I look more like him now. One colleague who is a fundamentalist Christian has told me repeatedly that I now dress "like a pentacostal" (whatever that means!) and that she preferred the way I dressed before. I wonder if colleagues would actually chill on such comments if I told them the truth. I think my biggest obstacle to coming out en masse is that I have this feeling that I don't want to take up space. Meaning I really do want to share this part of myself and be open about it, but I also don't want to become the poster child for people's curious questions, and I fear people will think I just want attention or am having a midlife crisis or something. I really admire and applaud folks who are out and hope I'll have the courage to be more open. 

 

[Heather Shay]

@Vidanjali Thank you for your response. It is heartfelt and many understand and can empathize with how you feel at this time. Hang in there and continue to explore this forum and feel free to ask questions. Many here have gone through something similar to you and can relate and share their experiences and maybe provide some guidance.