'Hi Guys'

[Sally Stone]

When we are trans, we tend to be more sensitive to pronouns, especially when they are directed at us.  Recently, a girlfriend and I met for dinner and when we arrived at the restaurant, the hostess (a twenty-something woman) greeted us by saying "Hi Guys!"  During dinner, my friend told me she was not happy that the hostess had misgendered us.  I disagreed with her assessment, reminding her that the use of the word "guys" in a modern greeting is no longer specifically a masculine term.  Despite my view, she still felt as though she had been slighted.

 

I get that we are sensitive about our gender identities, but I think it's important for us not to jump to conclusions.   It is extremely common for cis women to use the greeting "hi guys" among themselves; in fact, I have witnessed this myself many times.  Given the ever expanding umbrella of gender identities, staying informed and smart regarding the use of pronouns is a challenge, even for those of us that actually reside under the gender umbrella.  Navigating the emerging gender pronoun landscape can be a lot like walking through a minefield. 

[Jani]

1 hour ago, Sally Stone said:

reminding her that the use of the word "guys" in a modern greeting is no longer specifically a masculine term.

I agree @Sally Stone.  Language constantly evolves and we all have to adapt or be left behind.   I am not bothered by this usage. 

 

Jani

[KathyLauren]

"Guys" as a genderless term is common enough that I do not assume any malice when I hear it.  Still, it grates.  My wife will sometimes tell people that there are no guys here.  She did this even before I transitioned, saying that she wasn't a guy.

 

I heard a woman interviewed once about this.  She said that it was common for a group of women to address each other as "guys", because the word no longer had any connotations of maleness.  "Heck," she said, "I've even heard guys do that."  She did a priceless double-take when she realized what she had just said!  ?

[Heather Nicole]

There's a show on LATV and Revry I really like called "The Q Agenda". It's round-table style discussion and interviews with all-lgbtq hosts. On one episode they were discussing exactly this topic. I bring this up because I'll get back to it in just a moment...

 

Personally, I've always been of the mind that, in modern usage, many traditionally masculine words (such as "guys") now have dual usages as sometimes male, and sometimes gender-neutral. This just kind of organicaly happened as a way to fill an increasingly problematic gap in English - a lack of sufficent gender-neutral equivalants to commonly-used, but gendered, words.

 

I...mostly...still feel that way, at least for myself, however...Getting back to that episode of The Q Agenda: The semi-regular host on there who is a trans woman started out saying mostly the same thing (she never used to see a problem with it, and still isn't really bothered too much by it herself), but then she brought up a really good point I hadn't thought of: For some trans people, "guys" can be triggering because it may either conjure up feelings from past misgenderings or it can be like, "wait, am I being clocked?"

 

So while it doesn't bother me, and I think it can be used safely in certain situations (one of those "read the room" things), I do think there is very valid cause to exercise certain caution with it. When in doubt, wordings like "hey all" or "hey everyone" (or "minna-san" if you happen to be in an anime/manga club ? ) can work just as well.

[Ivy]

I seem to remember the inclusive "Guys" going way back - maybe even the 50's?  (that's only as far back as I go)

 

I'm not sure if it's related, but masculine terms have kinda been a default for a long time.  (ex. "mankind" etc.)  Which can be a sore point for some of us with feminist leanings.

 

If I remember rightly, some terms used to be a bit more gendered as well. (ex. "heroine & hero) Now it is common to use only the male form.

 

Having said that, I personally have no problem with using "guys" inclusively.

And yet, I often refer to my previous life as "When I was living as a guy" or "Was trying to be a guy".  

Guess it depends on who, how, and why.

[Vidanjali]

This is something I've often thought about. Personally, I always find it particularly remarkable when a group of all females is referred to as "guys", especially in a service context; that is, "guys" seems an overly casual way to address restaurant patrons. But, as was said, it's the evolution of language & culture, and one can either go with the flow (to a reasonable extent), or be frustrated and construed as stubbornly pedantic. That's how I've come to see it anyway because I have a tendency to get peeved about such things, so I try to challenge myself to let them go for the sake of my sanity. As an educator, I literally force myself to occasionally address my class as "guys" just as an exercise in adaptation - trying it on once in a while to see how it feels (having first read the room, by all means), so to speak. But, mostly I address my class in gender-neutral terms, e.g. "my friends", "dear students", "y'all", "folks", etc.