My… kinda sorta almost hate crime

[Phoenix]

I… 

 

Wow. I thought sharing this with perfect strangers would somehow make it easier. But I stared at that “I…” for way too long, unsure of how to even start.

 

I’ll start by saying that… technically, to my limited legal understanding, no actual hate crime…or crime at all… took place. But it came as close as I hope I never get again.

 

I was heading to a fetish party with a friend of mine. Along the way, we stopped by the home of, I guess, another friend of hers. While they were finishing last-minute preparations, the “friend” decided to try and “play dominant”… with me.

 

I hardly knew her. But for some reason, she wanted to order me around. And I was so new to being trans… and what all that meant in terms of behavior, I just kinda went along with it, at first. I don’t know why except that, I guess, I thought if I disobeyed her, she’d get mad and then my friend would get mad and it would ruin our plans for the night.

 

It sounds stupid to me to say that now, especially when I realize that I’ve actually fashioned myself as dominant… yet there I was obeying a random stranger. ?
 

I ended up forced to kneel on her bathroom floor, as she pushed my face toward the open toilet, telling me not to move.

 

By the time my friend and I were heading back out to my car, I was in tears or really close to it.

My friend asked me why I didn’t say anything. I told her I couldn’t. I didn’t want to make anyone mad. She apologized and we talked for a bit, then decided to go to the party anyway.

 

As far as it being a crime… I doubt I’d have been able to even make a case. But there was definite serious consent violation. It wasn’t until the next party where she revealed her motivation — I was trans and “not a real girl,” so she didn’t respect me.

 

Needless to say, that made me very angry. And on that night, I came up with my last name. A name meant to remind me that “switching sides” did *not* mean I had to be a “wuss” or a “pushover” of any kind.

 

And no, I can’t share my new last name since I’m roughly 3 months out from it becoming my legal name. A girl’s gotta be careful these days.

[Davie]

@Phoenix Thanks for your story. Glad it ends with a positive meaning for you.

Yes, definitely a serious consent violation.

"Get up, stand up! Stand up for your rights." — The Reverend Bob Marley

 

In support,

Davie

[Phoenix]

2 hours ago, Davie said:

@Phoenix Thanks for your story. Glad it ends with a positive meaning for you.

Yes, definitely a serious consent violation.

"Get up, stand up! Stand up for your rights." — The Reverend Bob Marley

 

In support,

Davie

Thank you. It’s clearly going to be a process because I had an incident in my apartment building with an older “Karen.” It could have gone better.