Baby Steps

[Sally]

Yeah, Paula!

It sounds like things are really going very well for you.

Congratulations!

Love ya,

Sally

[Paula ult]

Congratulations Paula!

It sounds like a really suportive group! I'm glad they can see how much happier you are. I hope you bowled a good game!!

Joe

Joe i did pretty good considering, i just got new woman's bowling shoes and they were really slick on the bottom and i almost fell on my tush a few times, i did manage to bowl a 591 series so my beginning average is 197 , so much for sandbagging.

Paula

[Guest AllisonD]

I have to think that work is going to be relatively easy at this point. You already have so much experience with the reactions you will get, and you clearly are passing better and better each week, so this last step should be manageable without too much fuss.

Well done

Allison

[Paula ult]

Congratulations Paula!

It sounds like a really suportive group! I'm glad they can see how much happier you are. I hope you bowled a good game!!

Joe

Joe i did pretty good considering, i just got new woman's bowling shoes, they were really slick on the bottom and i almost fell on my tush a few times, i did manage to bowl a 591 series so my beginning average is 197 , so much for sandbagging.

Paula

[Paula ult]

And the good news keeps coming, after i got home from bowling and posted to my topic i noticed i had an email, it was from my relatives in Michigan who i sent my coming out letter to back in July, they said they wanted to let me know that they are accepting of my change and that it must have been a hard letter to send family, they said they will be in the area in September along with my stepsister who sent me a beautiful supportive card and want to have dinner.

Paula

[Guest Donna Jean]

Ok, Paula!

Ease up!

I'm in Ohio, too, ya know, and you're using up all of the friends!

I'll need some, too!

Geez!

(just kidding, Hon...use all that you can....I'll get some from another state!....LOL!

Huggs on you, Girlfriend....

You know that I'm proud of you!

Donna Jean

[Guest angie]

I have heard my best friends story and it reads like so many of ours.

She started HRT without her wife's knowledge,then went and had an

Orchiectomy while being on a seperate vaction,again without the wife

being told.Then she came out at work all at once,in head to toe pink

none the less,wondering why everyone treated her so strangely.

Babysteps is the way to handle the change.I walked a very slow path,

so that by the time it was my time to be myself,all involved knew and

were ready for my arrival.I did a limited form of RLE for three years before

the start of HRT.When I quit wearing anything male,and was given hell for

my choice in clothing,female jeans and shorts tee's and blouses. I had plucked

brows,mid back length hair and pierced ears.By the time I started the physical

transition,everyone thought it was all in my mind it had been so long.

I sure fooled them.But I gave plenty of warning when I decided that my time

to become me was here and now.

Hugs,

Angie

[Paula ult]

Went to my every other Saturday bowling league last night, it appears others are getting more comfortable with me, they had a few weeks to get used to the idea the vice president of their league is changing from a man to a woman, the new member of my team Cheech, that is her nickname from when she was a child, i did not get a chance to tell 2 weeks ago, i called her over where it was not so loud so we could talk and told her, gosh she had already heard it from a friend of hers and it was a non issue.

Paula

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Went to my every other Saturday bowling league last night, it appears others are getting more comfortable with me, they had a few weeks to get used to the idea the vice president of their league is changing from a man to a woman, the new member of my team Cheech, that is her nickname from when she was a child, i did not get a chance to tell 2 weeks ago, i called her over where it was not so loud so we could talk and told her, gosh she had already heard it from a friend of hers and it was a non issue.

Paula

Thanks Paula!!!

I am so glad that things are working out for you!!!

HUGS

Brenda

[Guest Kayliegh]

Congrats, Paula -

It's great to hear about you acceptance and successes.

I'll be following your progress!

Kayleigh

[Paula ult]

Last night was the start of a new bowling league i joined, one member on my 4 person team already knew as i bowled with her in the summer league, the two guys bowled on other teams in the summer league and i have known them for a few years, they needed to know so i told them both at the same time, their reaction was much like everyone else i told, accepting, the fact i dress as woman helps i think, it is not to big a stretch of the imagination to know what is going on.

After we finished a woman i knew, also from the summer league asked me how i bowled, i bowled pretty good and she said you go girl!.

Paula

[Guest ~Brenda~]

After we finished a woman i knew, also from the summer league asked me how i bowled, i bowled pretty good and she said you go girl!.

Hugs Paula!!!

You go girl!!

Love you always

Brenda

[Paula ult]

I went over to Bob's house, my stepfather for dinner last night, his good neighbor Barry from across the street ran over and handed me a letter and said do not let Bob see it, well Bob saw him come over and asked and i kinda made something up and it was forgotten. The letter was inviting me to a surprise birthday party, Bob's 90th on October 10, I called later to ask Barry who was going to be there as those being invited probably do not know i am transitioning and it could be uncomfortable for them, he said about 20 people in all, Bob's sister and his son Bob, my stepbrother and his wife, yea the one that does not like me, the minister from his church and several others, a woman and her minister brother from across the street, Chuck a fishing buddy of Bob's, most of these people do not know unless Bob told them, which i do not think he did, maybe Chuck and Barry's mother know since bob spends allot of time with them.

So i decided Barry needed to know i am transitioning so i told him, i said i am in the process of changing my gender from male to female, not sure how he took it but he said if Bob is ok with it he is too.

I offered to bring plates, napkins, forks and such and the offer was accepted, so i am involved in the party.

It could get interesting since some know and others do not, but i will would not miss this party for all the tea in china.

Paula

[Guest AllisonD]

Paula

You are Bob's guest. They wouldn't dare hassle you there, and if they did, the other guests would quite correctly consider them rude and their comments unwelcome. Seeing Bob and some others so readily accept you may even sway a few. You go girl, and have a great time at the party!

Allison

[Guest Donna Jean]

Wonderful!

Paula, I just knew that this would work out for you.....

I just LOVE your determination to not let your transition ruin your social life and you are doing one heck of a job with that!

This Baby Step thread is a real lesson in "Can Do" and everyone should read through it at least once!

I offered to bring plates, napkins, forks and such and the offer was accepted, so i am involved in the party.

Don't forget the toothpicks!

I love you, Honey......

Donna Jean

[Paula ult]

This week has been filled with down's and up's, my stepfather Bob went to the hospital Monday with blood in his urine, they kept him a couple days and last night said he could go home, my stepbrothers wife Nancy, yes the ones that never liked me, had Bob's keys to the house and his car and was going to take him home, i got to the hospital to see him and she called impatiently wanting to know when to pick him up, he said to bring the keys here and i would be outside waiting and that i would take him home. She has not seen me in well over a year and when she came she drove right by me and went and parked in the parking lot, i met her half way and she said she did not recognize me, at least she was civil about it, i got the keys and went back in when i passed the desk a woman who knew Joy my mom and bob and who came to his room Tuesday asked about him, i said he was going home she then asked if i was Joy's daughter, of course i said yes.

I urged Bob to start calling me Paula since everyone see me as the woman i am. It got a bit uncomfortable the other day when a Chaplin came in said is this your daughter, i nodded to bob and he said yes but a bit later he called me by my male name, not sure what the Chaplin thought of that, but 20 some years of calling me by my male name will be hard but at least he is trying.

Seems like the baby steps are over with and i have my running shoes on now.

Paula

Paula

[Guest Donna Jean]

Paula.....

Sweetheart.....

I just want to tell everyone that you are my absolute hero in coming out!

I watched you from the very beginning, the planing that was involved....

Then the implementation and mostly sticking to your schedule (except for that pre emptive strike you had to do....*wink*)

I do realize that there was some luck involved, but, for the most part it was your determination to stick to the plan that made it all work for you....

You're an inspiration, Honey.......

And I'm proud to call you a friend

Love

Donna Jean

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

@ Paula:

Granted, it's a year-and-a-half after your original post kicking off this threat, but your subject is timeless, classic even, in the lore of transsexuals coming out in the larger society. That being said, I'd like to congratulate you bigtime, Paula!

Just like Dee Jay said, your meticulous planning and near-flawless execution of your coming out is simply splendid. Honestly, yours is the best coming-out planning and doing I've ever seen, and girl, I've seen quite a few in my time.

Personally, I believe you did it EXACTLY the right way. Heck, I'm doing the same thing with my own coming out. Know what? I've gotten LOTS of flack from other TS friends and on another forum for coming out this way. These people are dogmatists who believe that coming out "in your face" in the blink of an eye is the way to do it. Sorry, folks, but I cannot abide their idea.

What YOU did makes perfect sense. I'd like to think you've established a precendent that future transsexuals will recognize as sane and balanced and well worth emulating.

Rock on, girl! May peace, prosperity and happiness be yours. Happy 2011 ... 1 January 2011. Hey, you're 2 years my elder, aren't you? Hooha! Think Dee Jay's my elder too! Hey, at least I'm "The Young 'un" occasionally ... VERY occasionally. Just kidding!

Lacey

[Cyndee]

This is one of the coolest threads on Laura's, I love reading it. I learned from this, I applied many of these concepts in my own life, it worked. Going slow and giving folks a chance to adjust has made a big difference socially.

Wishing you the best in life Paula.

Hugs

Cindy -

[Guest Katey Mctagger]

Thats great Paula I hope that that has helped you to feel more relaxed and at peace with yourself. Me personally I haven't started coming out to anyone yet other than my LGBT therapist Rachael. I'm very scared about people's reactions. My whole life I have put up this facade of over masculininty, and being a big, strong, tough man. And never letting myself show even a hint about the way I feel inside. I just feel it would be hard for people to believe me and reject me and life will be very lonely. I am propably the most worried about what people's reactions are going to be about me coming out. I am very proud of you for finally coming out(something which I havn't found the guts to do yet) and am very happy for you now that you can finally feel more relaxed and be your real innerself around your friends and family. Any suggestions or tips for someone who wants to come out but hasn't just yet?

[Guest Cody76]

I like that idea of slowly doing feminine things. I think I'm going to do that to come out to the people I work with. I feel like I have to tell the people closest to me though. I've already started subconciously I can never spell that word right lol. I always wear an absolutely excessive amount of cherry chapstick I apply it in front of a mirror most of the time and I comb my hair frequently throughout the day. The next thing I think I'll do is start wearing women's pants to work every few days and then permanently. And I'm the only person I work with that has to be in front of some kind of reflective surface when I put on my hairnet because it has to look perfect or it bothers me very bad. I've even started buying female clothing from my work mostly pantyhose but I always feel very uneasy about it but over time I'm getting more and more comfortable about it. I still have a very hard time shopping for makeup though because whenever I do I just feel rushed for some reason. That I feel the need to do elsewhere for reasons I don't understand.