Why Do Transwomen Have So Much Drama?

[Guest krisspykriss]

I mean, in the last week I have had more drama from bickering and fighting between two of my trans frineds and them trying to put me in the middle of it than I ever have (since jr high at least). I am not going to go into the details, nor break their trust by telling the details. Trust me, it was middle school girl drama by two 30 something women. They are not the first, and they wont be the last. I mean, dont we need to stick together and be there for each other? Isn't it nice to have friends who know what your going through (and we ALL go through the same issues to varying degrees). Instead, they want to fight. Rather than acknowledge that we understand what each other are going through, I hear "you just dont understand" "you dont know what it is like" "whoa is me" bla ba bla.

On the one hand I could just say bye bye to two friends and be glad I don't have the drama to deal with, but silly me has a heart and a little compassion. So I wont give up on making trans friends. Unfortunatey this wasn't the first time I lost a trans friend over something stupid, and I am sure it wont be the last.Maybe it is just me. Maybe I am just drawn to peeps with drama. Then again, I dont get this from my non-trans friends. Maybe it is systemic of trying out different ways to "act female" Like since many of us are new to acting like ladies, we are feeling it out and making adolescent mistakes. You know, like some of use dont know yet how to act towards one another. Sure some sic-females can be spiteful and catty, but that doesn't mean we have to acquire that trait.

Anyway, I raise a glass to wish the best of luck to friends I wish stayed around... but didn't. I will miss our talks.

Chris

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

I mean, in the last week I have had more drama from bickering and fighting between two of my trans frineds and them trying to put me in the middle of it than I ever have (since jr high at least). I am not going to go into the details, nor break their trust by telling the details. Trust me, it was middle school girl drama by two 30 something women. They are not the first, and they wont be the last. I mean, dont we need to stick together and be there for each other? Isn't it nice to have friends who know what your going through (and we ALL go through the same issues to varying degrees). Instead, they want to fight. Rather than acknowledge that we understand what each other are going through, I hear "you just dont understand" "you dont know what it is like" "whoa is me" bla ba bla.

On the one hand I could just say bye bye to two friends and be glad I don't have the drama to deal with, but silly me has a heart and a little compassion. So I wont give up on making trans friends. Unfortunatey this wasn't the first time I lost a trans friend over something stupid, and I am sure it wont be the last.Maybe it is just me. Maybe I am just drawn to peeps with drama. Then again, I dont get this from my non-trans friends. Maybe it is systemic of trying out different ways to "act female" Like since many of us are new to acting like ladies, we are feeling it out and making adolescent mistakes. You know, like some of use dont know yet how to act towards one another. Sure some sic-females can be spiteful and catty, but that doesn't mean we have to acquire that trait.

Anyway, I raise a glass to wish the best of luck to friends I wish stayed around... but didn't. I will miss our talks.

Chris

Sister, it sounds like typical female bickering and nit  picking. Its just like women to try the sob story and attemtp to get you n their side against someone else. Just hold your head high and dont let yourself be drawn in, especially when both of them are good friends.

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

I don't get involved in drama. I'll listen to friends tell me about their drama, but I stay out of it.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Drama...drama....drama.....

Some of my girlfriends have oodles of drama.....

I'm just trying to get through life without creating a rift in the fabric of the universe!

Baby steps...baby steps...baby steps.......

SHhhhh.......

Donna Jean

[Guest Soph]

I also don't tend to get involved in drama, but Joanna is right; it sounds like normal female bickering. Sometimes adults can be really childish.

Plus, put it in perspective. Trans people tend to have emotional problems, especially if they try to bottle it up for so long. Heck, if I had the option to live through my teenage years (353 days until i'm completely out of them) I wouldn't hesitate. So perhaps immaturity is even more prominent in some transwomen, as an attempt to relive some lost years or something to that effect.

But, like I said, adults can be quite childish. My violin teacher got a call from a friend of hers during my lesson once, and she just gossiped for 5 minutes (during my lesson, mind you, wasting both my time and my money).

If you don't want to be upset by it, look at it objectively. If you can see that what they're fighting over is really unimportant, then you can at least get some humor out of it.

[Guest yvonne]

Hormones completely change your emotions. Genetic Girls (GGs) have had many years to learn to control them. MTFs are adolescent kids for a while after starting on hormones. They have to learn how to control them. You may be witnessing the lack of mastery of that skill. ) If they're acting like immature adolescents, that may be where they are on the development level, with no guarantee they'll get any further.....

Like everyone else says, "stay clear".

But the real answer to your question, "Why do transwomen have so much drama?" is "Because they do"....

[Guest Nekomata]

Because women are dramatic creatures.

[Guest LightNebula]

Because women are more emotional on average than men due to estrogen. As yvonne said, MtFs new to hormones haven't had any/much experience with all the estrogen in their bodies and being able to control the emotions that come with it.

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Because women are dramatic creatures.

Allthe world's a stage; however transwomen having had to bottle up who they are for so long may have a rough time containing the genie once its let out of the cage by our therapists and psychiatrists. It is then up to us to do as required to get those magic permission letters for hormones, surgery and other things.

Our personal genies and demons are what keep the drama happening, since this change requires that we destroy our former selves, and proceed to build up a new one. It is durring this birth process where we have to redefine our psyches, likes, dislikes, desires, and needs. Its no wonder that there is some drama durring this process, we are like teens once hormones are started and it is up to us to grow and mature the way we once did, however this time in the right body for the mind.

Stay the course and enjoy the journey

 

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Because we are 14 years old when we get on HRT. My therapist swears to this!

Donna Jean - which girlfriends are you referring to? huh.....

SHHHHHH

LizzyAnne

[Guest Neuro]

It may be as you said, the trait of 'female drama' I.E women are dramatic creatures. XD

It also may be hormones.

When guys go on T, they often get more aggressive, sex drive rises, more reckless etc. A typical male trait. Because when you go on T, it makes you go through puberty allllll over again XD and become a stupid teenage boy.

I have little knowledge on Estrogen and such, but like Lizzy said--it makes them like 14-year-old girls. I know my share of teenage girls--drama, drama, drama, drama!! crying and laughing and anger and ranting and crying all over again. (both my little sisters are at that stage IRL XD)

All women are different, so it's not all women or all trans women. But being a chemical and mental thing, it can probably safely be said that the majority will experience some heavy drama for a while.

And hey, transitioning is dramatic. Sometimes it's best just to take in a deep breath, hold your head up high; and be the bigger woman. But if their drama is stressing you out bad, sometimes you just have to ignore it. It's tough, but hey; if you wanna keep your friends..... :c

[Guest 1charlotte1]

I had an ex girlfriend who was so full of drama that every night I would call her... And literally everytime she wouldbe in tears for some reason, and I had to fix it... IT WAS HELL!

Since we broke up, drama an I don't chill together

[Guest My_Genesis]

women ARE dramatic creatures! lol and it's not necessarily that bio-girls are any better! gosh youd think after high school drama over relatively petty things like who's hanging out with this one more than with the other one would end...but it doesn't. on the contrary girls still form little groups (i don't wanna say cliques because that word carries a stigma with it and the particular group i have in mind are decent people lol) in which the members seem to grow a little too close to each other and at some point there is an internal implosion. lol. that is why so far i don't have many really close female friends in college, i'm not articularly compatible with that dynamic.

not that any of them are either

[Sally]

Transwoman are dramatic - I don't know.

As stated by William Shakespeare, "All the world's a stage!"

And I have missed 57 years of my time on stage hiding in the back ground prompting everyone else on their lines.

So as the time comes for me to "strut and fret my time upon the stage" the so be it.

That is not Drama - it is my due!

A short time to receive the accolades that I have so long deserved but unknown to the world as I enter the stage under a single follow spot is that really drama, no, just excellent blocking!

And now, "I'm ready for my close-up Mr. DeMille!"

I almost forgot, "As God as my witness, I will never be hungry again!"

Now that is Drama!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Luna M]

Wow...

Actually, technically, from my admittedly non-first-account, book-and-Internet fueled knowledge, the only real discernible difference between male and female brains is that men are more spatially inclined, on average, and women are more communicative, in general.

On the surface, one would think that would lead to men being geometry teachers and women being lovesick fools. But the fact this tends to be the case probably has more to do with societal influences than anything else.

In the early 90s, a group of about 14 children, half male, half female, all around age 4, were put in a room and observed. As suspected, the girls formed cliques and so did the boys, and the boys played with the boy toys, while the girls played with the girl toys. It was assumed from this that indeed, even from an early age, boys and girls had genetic differences that caused them to behave differently.

But not long after, the scientific community cried foul. The test was repeated--this time, the boys and the girls were dressed in gender-neutral clothes and their hair was cut in a gender-neutral style. They were given gender-neutral toys that nevertheless had some "boy" qualities (phallic, weapon-shaped) and some had "girl" qualities (parts to arrange, color, and decorate).

Surprise; the children intermingled almost equally, formed groups based entirely on who they liked instead of how they looked, and played with the same types of toys equally. There was almost no favoritism. The original test results were busted.

Changes do come at puberty, but the effects of estrogen and testosterone are not as distinct as one might think. Both hormones induce powerful emotions and effects in the brain. The only thing that brain scans have been able to determine for sure, structurally, is that women tend to use the whole brain interdependently, while men tend to use the brain hemispheres more independently. But there is no conclusive science to suggest that this is due to hormone levels; our brains are learning muscles. We create pathways and habits throughout our lives and tend to think in the ways we're taught to think. To muddy the waters further, there seems to be a correlation between higher overall intelligence and the tendency for gender roles/behaviors to blur. Perhaps it's no coincidence that most transgendered individuals have higher than average IQs.

I'd tend to agree with the ones who say that immature behavior is a result of drastic changes in hormones and difficulty dealing with the changes. I don't think at all that your friends are behaving immaturely because they are women, or trans-women. There are plenty of perfectly stable, not-overly-dramatic females out there, and they're not "unusual" or "exceptions" like some people would have you think. No one says all, or even most men are redneck jerks. Most aren't. Turn it around; it's immature to say that women are "just like that." They're not.

Your trans friends are more likely behaving the way they are because they're on hormone roller-coasters and because they might have it in their heads that they're _supposed_ to act like that. Try explaining to them (when they're calm) that they don't have to cluck like hens to convince the world of their femininity. Real Adults behave like adults, regardless what gender they are. =)

[Guest LightNebula]

To muddy the waters further, there seems to be a correlation between higher overall intelligence and the tendency for gender roles/behaviors to blur. Perhaps it's no coincidence that most transgendered individuals have higher than average IQs.

Yeah, I doubt there's a coincidence.

I'd tend to agree with the ones who say that immature behavior is a result of drastic changes in hormones and difficulty dealing with the changes. I don't think at all that your friends are behaving immaturely because they are women, or trans-women. There are plenty of perfectly stable, not-overly-dramatic females out there, and they're not "unusual" or "exceptions" like some people would have you think. No one says all, or even most men are redneck jerks. Most aren't. Turn it around; it's immature to say that women are "just like that." They're not.

Yes. Negative "false" generalizations that spread well.

Your trans friends are more likely behaving the way they are because they're on hormone roller-coasters and because they might have it in their heads that they're _supposed_ to act like that. Try explaining to them (when they're calm) that they don't have to cluck like hens to convince the world of their femininity. Real Adults behave like adults, regardless what gender they are. =)

There is the issue, though, of what one would define as an "adult" and a "real adult", aside from being a certain age in one's respective location or whatever qualifications there are to being an adult (I'm not too sure, but as an example: in an African tribe, there could be a "test" for people to pass to be considered an adult).

[Guest Luna M]

Yeah, I doubt there's a coincidence.

Yes. Negative "false" generalizations that spread well.

There is the issue, though, of what one would define as an "adult" and a "real adult", aside from being a certain age in one's respective location or whatever qualifications there are to being an adult (I'm not too sure, but as an example: in an African tribe, there could be a "test" for people to pass to be considered an adult).

In this case, when I say "adult," I simply mean "well-adjusted individual."

[Guest Leah1026]

Hormones completely change your emotions. Genetic Girls (GGs) have had many years to learn to control them. MTFs are adolescent kids for a while after starting on hormones. They have to learn how to control them. You may be witnessing the lack of mastery of that skill. ) If they're acting like immature adolescents, that may be where they are on the development level, with no guarantee they'll get any further.....

Like everyone else says, "stay clear".

But the real answer to your question, "Why do transwomen have so much drama?" is "Because they do"....

Bingo! Welcome to puberty redux. Drama is to be expected. Thankfully most of us get over it.

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

In this case, when I say "adult," I simply mean "well-adjusted individual."

do adult and well adjutsted necessarily equate?

[Guest krisspykriss]

The only generalization I made was the title. Beyond that, I am curious why I get so much drama from trans friends. I have had two trans girlfriends and both were overly sensitive and over-reacted to situations. Like one dumped me when I said her 2 day old 5'clock shadow was irritating my face when we kissed (like I didnt understand what she was going through). The other I had to let go because she was always finding a way into situations I had to "fix" for her.

Then again, I have only known two tgirls in the real world (and dated them both) and like a half dozen online. So my sample size isn't exactly that large.

Anyway, to be fair, I can be a bit of a drama queen from time to time myself. It is something I have to watch.

I guess this is one thing I might miss about "Man World", of course "Man World" has it's other greater annoyances.

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

When guys go on T, they often get more aggressive, sex drive rises, more reckless etc. A typical male trait. Because when you go on T, it makes you go through puberty allllll over again XD and become a stupid teenage boy.

I also heard you're more prone to shopping at Home Depot and ogling the Craftsman tools at Sears.

[Guest Luna M]

do adult and well adjutsted necessarily equate?

No. I did not say that at all.

To repeat: _In this case,_ when _I_ say "adult" (quotations, not to be taken by dictionary standards), yes, that is what _I_ mean by it.

If we're going to discuss the meaning of the word "adult," then no, in reality adults aren't necessarily well adjusted and mature. But when I said Real Adults (which I capitalized to tern them into proper nouns and thereby show I was assigning a personal meaning to the terms), I was referring to the ideal that most people assign to the word adult, which, yes, generally implies a mature and well adjusted person.

[Sally]

The real, straight forward, down to brass tacks, bare bones, right to the point, no beating around the bush honest and totally truthful answer to this question also answers the question for anyone with so much drama in their lives.

They are insecure in gender identity, in how well they will pass, what their friends will think of them, what they should wear, or how they should act.

Remove gender identity and how well they will pass and it works for everyone who is not transgendered, with them in it works for the whole spectrum of the transgendered community.

Really pretty simple - hormones make a great excuse to allow us to act out more about it, but it has always been there.

Love ya all, adults, well adjusted or not, teens, no reservations - everyone,

Sally

[Guest Neuro]

"I'm ready for my close-up Mr. DeMille!"

Sunset Boulevard, For The Win with all caps~

[Guest My_Genesis]

I also heard you're more prone to shopping at Home Depot and ogling the Craftsman tools at Sears.

that may be true....but Sears?! Really?