How's it going fellas

[Roach]

Thank you @DonkeySocks! Appreciate it.

 

@awkward-yet-sweet, very glad you are mostly comfortable with your appearance. You said something I can relate to a lot: 

 

2 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

For people I don't see much (if ever again), I don't care what they think so there's no reason for me to put in effort changing it. 

 

If I actually care about what someone thinks, I'll let them know. If it's someone I'll never see again, I don't see a reason to work myself up over it.

[RaineOnYourParade]

Am bored boy, anyone else?

[Vidanjali]

@RaineOnYourParade what sorts of things get you engaged the most? What sorts of conditions comfort you most? What interests you about your own mind? I find boredom is usually some combination of uncertainty of purpose, distraction, and tiredness.  

 

 

[Ashley0616]

On 3/19/2022 at 1:25 PM, Drake said:

We're here. I hop on maybe once or twice a week. Gotta shake things up a little lol

Nice to see someone just a state over. It feels like there isn't many people in our area. I'm from Mississippi. 

[RaineOnYourParade]

10 minutes ago, Vidanjali said:

@RaineOnYourParade what sorts of things get you engaged the most? What sorts of conditions comfort you most? What interests you about your own mind? I find boredom is usually some combination of uncertainty of purpose, distraction, and tiredness.  

 

 

Honestly when I'm bored I just space out into the abyss, I find it really hard to relax into something I actually enjoy at school because of the tons of overlapping noise 

[Vidanjali]

11 minutes ago, RaineOnYourParade said:

Honestly when I'm bored I just space out into the abyss, I find it really hard to relax into something I actually enjoy at school because of the tons of overlapping noise 

 

I understand. School was not for me either. I did not engage in formal education until several years after having dropped out. Not that I necessarily endorse dropping out - for me it was inevitable because there was so much chaos in my life and housing insecurity - school was a practically nonexistent priority. Fast forward, I wound up becoming a college mathematics professor (although I am not working now due to disability). I hope you find a way to somehow enjoy the abyss. There is some ineffable comfort in the void.   

[RaineOnYourParade]

1 minute ago, Vidanjali said:

 

I understand. School was not for me either. I did not engage in formal education until several years after having dropped out. Not that I necessarily endorse dropping out - for me it was inevitable because there was so much chaos in my life and housing insecurity - school was a practically nonexistent priority. Fast forward, I wound up becoming a college mathematics professor (although I am not working now due to disability). I hope you find a way to somehow enjoy the abyss. There is some ineffable comfort in the void.   

The void is home 😅

Tbh I'm pretty sure my mom would kill me if I dropped out lol, don't have a choice abt going to college either even if I wanted to

I miss my earbuds, without them I can't drown out the noise 

[awkward-yet-sweet]

I guess I'm used to the noise...but I live in a huge family. Growing up, I preferred school to home because of the social environment and sports.  But I can definitely see how others might find it overwhelming.  I can get tired of the noise and constant scampering of the kids, and when that happens I retreat to my space underground or even curl up for a nap.  

[RaineOnYourParade]

14 minutes ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

I guess I'm used to the noise...but I live in a huge family. Growing up, I preferred school to home because of the social environment and sports.  But I can definitely see how others might find it overwhelming.  I can get tired of the noise and constant scampering of the kids, and when that happens I retreat to my space underground or even curl up for a nap.  

I've got both small kids at home and loud school life hahahahaha... hahaha... ha. 😐

[Ashley0616]

I have a 7 and 3 year old boys and they love to be loud. Although I do miss it on the weekends because they are at the ex's and then I just keep building my shopping list of clothes. I already have 4000 in three shopping carts lol. I just need the bank account for it lol. After this big shopping I'll have over 200 dresses. I might stop there with dresses. I do have other kinds of clothes but I love dresses. 

 

[RaineOnYourParade]

1 hour ago, Ashley0616 said:

I have a 7 and 3 year old boys and they love to be loud. Although I do miss it on the weekends because they are at the ex's and then I just keep building my shopping list of clothes. I already have 4000 in three shopping carts lol. I just need the bank account for it lol. After this big shopping I'll have over 200 dresses. I might stop there with dresses. I do have other kinds of clothes but I love dresses. 

 

Haha, I might miss it when I move out but for now my basic attitude to the huge amount of noise is: Thanks, I hate it.

 

Although I don't like wearing them myself, I like dresses, if that makes sense? They look nice and I like a lot of the designs.

[Ashley0616]

21 minutes ago, RaineOnYourParade said:

Haha, I might miss it when I move out but for now my basic attitude to the huge amount of noise is: Thanks, I hate it.

 

Although I don't like wearing them myself, I like dresses, if that makes sense? They look nice and I like a lot of the designs.

It makes sense. Plus I think it's probably what you grew up with and I guess I just haven't worn them as much. I don't really see myself getting tired of them. They are so easy to put on and take off. Not to mention they are comfortable. I love how it wraps around me. I don't even mind that there aren't any pockets. I use my purse for that. 

[RaineOnYourParade]

1 minute ago, Ashley0616 said:

It makes sense. Plus I think it's probably what you grew up with and I guess I just haven't worn them as much. I don't really see myself getting tired of them. They are so easy to put on and take off. Not to mention they are comfortable. I love how it wraps around me. I don't even mind that there aren't any pockets. I use my purse for that. 

It's one thing when something naturally doesn't have pockets. What I hate more than anything is women's pants that have fake pockets. WhY, PoR qUe, NaNdE? Terrible decision, whoever decided fake pockets were something that should exist

[Ashley0616]

Just now, RaineOnYourParade said:

It's one thing when something naturally doesn't have pockets. What I hate more than anything is women's pants that have fake pockets. WhY, PoR qUe, NaNdE? Terrible decision, whoever decided fake pockets were something that should exist

I'm looking forward to getting a brazillian butt lift because I'm going to be showing it off in yoga pants and tight dresses. 

[RaineOnYourParade]

1 minute ago, Ashley0616 said:

I'm looking forward to getting a brazillian butt lift because I'm going to be showing it off in yoga pants and tight dresses. 

Good luck! I'm sure you'll look amazing

[Birdie]

I need a butt reduction 🤣

[Ashley0616]

2 minutes ago, RaineOnYourParade said:

Good luck! I'm sure you'll look amazing

Thank you!

[Vidanjali]

I almost came out to a friend last night. It's a friend I worked with for 13 years. I resigned and he retired. There are some people in my life whom I don't care whether or not they know I'm trans, with whom if it comes up, I don't mind sharing and speaking about it. He's in that category.

 

When I started the job we had together I was approaching the peak of my overcompensation phase - the phase during which I was concertedly attempting to be as feminine as possible because I thought I was broken and that maybe with practice I'd become more "perfect" (as in perfectly cis). I began to come out to myself only in the last couple years of that job, and part of it was during the lockdown, so no one saw me much at first. So, most of the time this friend has known me, I was long hair, tight skirts, breasts up (can I say that here?), high heels, makeup, blah blah blah.

 

Last night he and I went to a baseball game together. I was wearing men's chino shorts, binder, men's short sleeve tropical button down shirt which I had tailored to fit me, loafers, and I had just given myself a neat haircut earlier in the week. He's seen me look more like this for a while. It was a terrible game for the home team, lol, and we were chatting a lot between plays. At some point we were talking about the advertisements around the park and about marketing. There was a big ad for Hairclub, which we guessed was formerly known as Hairclub for Men, then hair in general. He asked me some questions about my having had long hair for a while and short hair for the last few years. I told him that although most of the time he'd known me I'd had long hair, that most of my life I've had short hair and I prefer it that way. More questions (he's fun to talk to because he's very inquisitive and imaginative - I'm not implying the questions were annoying me in any way) led me to say that the period of my having long hair was a social experiment. He asked about that. I said that all my life I'd felt different and awkward and so I did an experiment with conformity to see if people treated me different and if I felt different. He asked several questions about the results of the experiment. Ultimately, I told him that I learned no matter how I was presenting, the common denominator was that I was me all along, and eventually I gained the confidence to be however I felt naturally without struggling to conform or be a certain prescribed way. To me, this was all true and it didn't matter too much in the moment whether I labeled this narrative trans or not. Lol, I also thought specifically coming out as trans at a baseball game might not be the best venue, so I left it at that. But, at least if we continue the conversation in the future, he'll have some contextual framework for my point of view. I'm not worried about his reaction. While he himself is rather staightlaced, he's very kind and openminded & his bff is a rather flamboyant gay man. At any rate, it was kinda nice to be open to a good extent about why my appearance has changed in the recent past. 

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, Vidanjali said:

But, at least if we continue the conversation in the future, he'll have some contextual framework for my point of view.

Sounds like a good visit.

[Davie]

On 8/28/2023 at 11:06 AM, Vidanjali said:

@RaineOnYourParade what sorts of things get you engaged the most? What sorts of conditions comfort you most? What interests you about your own mind? I find boredom is usually some combination of uncertainty of purpose, distraction, and tiredness.  

 

 

Life always seems to have the right wrench to drop on my toe when I least expect it. Yesterday, I called 911 for heart attack symptoms and had a procedure done that was painful and hard to take, but I have no real damage to my heart, thank god. I am going to go on new meds for cholesterol, tho. I got very sick from their sedation. Strangely, my symptoms were those that females present. Light, not painful, pinches in the shoulder. I'm amab  and non-binary (maybe I'm wired female on the inside?). Today I got an email from my MAGA brother to have lunch when he's in town  -- he's refused before. Instantly, in my mind, I thought of how to come out to him—why? Not sure, but it was deeply intuitive thing to imagine. Scary tho. These are my two life wrenches right now. If I know me this will turn out to be semi-autobiographical story to write. More to come. "Ticker—Keep on ticking!" —Stevie wonder song parody.   

[Ivy]

7 hours ago, Davie said:

Instantly, in my mind, I thought of how to come out to him—why? Not sure, but it was deeply intuitive thing to imagine. Scary tho.

Good luck with your brother.

[Vidanjali]

@Davie glad your ticker's okay & ditto, good luck with your brother. May whatever intuitive force prompted the inspiration to come out continue to guide you. 

[Vidanjali]

@mikoid I just saw your intro post and thought to tag you on this thread where you might interact with more guys. Welcome to this community and nice to meet you. I visited Pittsburgh once many years ago and thought it was a great city. 

[Russ Fenrisson]

Finally, after several months, the heat might be dying down. I remember when the summer solstice hit, the sun came beaming down with its vengeance. I just couldn't wait until fall came, and it will come in just a few weeks.

 

For the past few months, I've been changing my exercise routine. Since finding this exercise regiment by Eugen Sandow dating from about 1896, I've been doing it about every other day to see how it would affect my body and muscle tone. It's recommended you do it everyday, but because some of the exercises might hurt certain joints with repetition- specifically the shoulder, wrist, and knees- I opted to be consistent but do it every other day. In between when I wasn't doing the regiment, I would just have fun doing body calisthenics and practice doing martial arts.

 

After two months of this, I have seen a bit of difference I'm happy with but some I have concern with. Because you're supposed to use only 5-LB dumbbells, it forces you to move in a slow, controlled motion with an emphasis on form. I feel I needed this. Everytime I exercised, I at least got something out of it, especially in my shoulders, biceps, and legs. Since the exercises are so upper body heavy with emphasis on certain muscle groups, I feel some muscles were probably left out, and not for good. I feel my triceps, in comparison to my biceps, have gotten smaller. My biceps, however, seem to have more form and have that distinctive bump usually seen when the muscle is flexed.

 

It was a fun little exercise, and I'm considering increasing the weight since I've been doing it for so long.

 

I hope everyone has been doing well in this incredibly hot summer. With a hot summer comes a colder winter. Watch out there.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

5 hours ago, Russ Fenrisson said:

I hope everyone has been doing well in this incredibly hot summer. With a hot summer comes a colder winter.

 

IDK what to expect this year.  Summer has been hot, and the last couple of summers have been similar.  The winters have been unusually cold and icy.  Which causes things to be a bit embarrassing for my "boy form" self.  Guys are supposed to be tough and not mind the elements....  But below 32 degrees, I squeak and run inside for the fireplace and somebody warm to cuddle up to.  Meanwhile, my GF (who is ALL girl) goes outside and splits firewood and drives a 4x4 in the snow and drags her kids outdoors to throw snowballs at each other.  🙄  Life has some incredible irony to it.