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Coming out during uni

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Did anyone here come out during university/college? Was it between years or semesters? Any logistical or social things you weren't expecting? I'm interested to hear anyone's experiences. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm currently in my second semester at college, and only started coming out as trans a month into this semester. I did it over Snapchat for the most part, as that's where I contact most of my college friends. I found this to be a lot easier than talking with people in person because I didn't want to have that conversation a million times. However, I'm only out to one of my professors, who uses my preferred name, but I'm still going by my deadname in other classes. At my school, there's a way of changing your preferred name, gender, & pronouns with the registrar, but I decided against it until the summer bc I'm not comfortable doing that yet. Besides, the semester ends in less than 2 months for me anyways.


As for things I was not expecting, I definitely wasn't expecting part of my brain to go "stop lying to everyone" when introducing myself as Spencer for the first time. I know that this is who I am, but imposter syndrome can come out of nowhere sometimes. Additionally, I also wasn't expecting that a few days after I came out, some people really weren't sure how to talk to me. A lot of not referring to me with any name or pronouns, or using both excessively. It really is a transition for everybody involved, and you're social life may change. For me, I found it much easier to express myself and talk to others, though YMMV depending on your specific situation!

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Thanks for your response Spencer! This was helpful for me. It's great that you are finding it easier to express yourself. Good luck with the last half of the semester you got this 👍

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  • 1 month later...

I was planning to help my daughter transition in the summer of 2020, but the lockdowns gave us an opportunity to do it sooner. If you are m2f, start growing your hair, even when you are still presenting as a boy. This really helped my daughter, also dressing at home as much as possible is before going out helps you get  comfortable in your new gender.  So I think summers are best with starting to grow your hair out in January. at least this will give you shoulder length or longer hair when you start the transition. Start thinking of your new name right away. 

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I guess lockdown somewhat worked in your favor in this situation, @MomTGDaughter. Thanks for sharing your experiences!


I just finished the year, and plan to be out at my job over the summer. If everything goes well, I might have enough courage to do the same at the next semester in uni. We also have a way to change name/gender in the system fairly easily. What's stopping me is mostly the mental block of coming out to people I already know.

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