Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Uncertainty


LearningWhoIAm

Recommended Posts

Hello. I've never posted on a forum before so I apologize if I make any mistakes. 

I'm 23 years old and have only in this last year realized I'm trans. Growing up I was always the tomboy, and in highschool I was a very rebellious short haired goth. I was always an outcast, and I was raised in a pretty stict environment where even thinking about stuff like this was taboo.

Shortly after highschool I met my now husband (we'll call him H). H and I hit it off right away and got married after dating for a few years. This year will be our third wedding anniversary. 

We have a two year old son and up until last fall things were perfect. After getting married I ditched a lot of my old look and really reinforced being a "perfect mom". I constantly wore dresses, baked cookies, cleaned the house, worked from home, everything I thought the ideal wife should be. 

A lot of my friends are nonbinary, trans, or other gender non-conforming identities. I was talking with one of my nonbinary friends and I realized I'd never really explored that part of myself or thought about my own gender identity. The more I explored, the more I realized I don't want the dresses. I don't want to be a she/her. It doesn't feel right. I don't think it ever did. 

My main concern is telling my husband. While he is in no way transphobic, I know this will be a huge shock to him. I don't want to hurt him, and I don't want to lose him. But I also can't lie to him anymore. He deserves honesty. I'm just really afraid and I feel very isolated. I'm only out to two of my friends and thankfully they are both supportive and loving. 

Thank you for letting me post this and get some pressure off. 

-Logan

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
52 minutes ago, LearningWhoIAm said:

My main concern is telling my husband. While he is in no way transphobic, I know this will be a huge shock to him. I don't want to hurt him, and I don't want to lose him. But I also can't lie to him anymore. He deserves honesty. I'm just really afraid and I feel very isolated. I'm only out to two of my friends and thankfully they are both supportive and loving. 

 

Yeah, this can be trouble. I've got a masc-presenting NB friend who lost their husband over coming out. He enjoyed the, ahem, side-effects of T on his spouse, but couldn't let himself be seen with his partner. Hopefully, your husband is fine with it. Fingers crossed for you sweetie!

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Yeah, this can be trouble. I've got a masc-presenting NB friend who lost their husband over coming out. He enjoyed the, ahem, side-effects of T on his spouse, but couldn't let himself be seen with his partner. Hopefully, your husband is fine with it. Fingers crossed for you sweetie!

 

Hugs!

Thank you so much for your kind words. 

Link to comment

Kia Ora, Logan.  You're near the same stage I am!  I told my husband a couple months ago.  It was incredibly scary because I have this great life built around me as mum.  My husband and I are still figuring out what this means for us.  He's had some reactions I would never have expected, both good and bad.  We're still very much in the thick of it.  Lots of positive vibes in your direction as you work through this.

Link to comment
15 hours ago, JacobLevado said:

 We're still very much in the thick of it.  Lots of positive vibes in your direction as you work through this.

Thank you! If I may ask, how did you originally come out to your spouse? I'm at a loss of how to even start. 

Link to comment
54 minutes ago, LearningWhoIAm said:

how did you originally come out to your spouse? I'm at a loss of how to even start. 

 

For me, a trans non-binary AMAB, I chose to use a letter that my spouse could read first and then start reacting and asking questions.  This worked well for me; I spent several weeks carefully composing it, as I didn't want to leave anything important out, which could be easy to do during such a nerve-wracking moment.

 

This did come out of the blue for her; the passage of time (now 4 years ago) has helped her to see the clear benefits of me being myself. The other major advancement forward was her agreeing to jointly attend therapy sessions (after my initial meeting), as it opened up lines of communication which are so essential to maintaining a marriage.  We're partners in this, so involving her was so important.

 

Best of luck,

 

Astrid

Link to comment

Welcome, and good luck, Logan!

I came out to my wife about a month and a half ago. Like Astrid, I had a letter prepared, for me not to give her, but to use as notes when I got nervous (and it really helped). It went much better than I feared. I suppose the suspense and fear are almost always worse than the reality, at least in the moment. Since then, we've only spoken about it once. I can tell she's uncomfortable and adjusting to the idea. And that it seems she really doesn't want to talk about it. But I've read enough of other people's stories to know patience is super important.

I'm so glad to hear you have several friends who are trans or otherwise gender non-conforming. I have to imagine that not only gives you a network of support, but also means your husband has been exposed to many ways of living and being, and may give him a better perspective from which to come to terms, in time, with your situation. (My wife has a very close friend who is gay, but otherwise neither of us have any trans or gnc friends.)

From one newbie to another: I'm glad you're here and sharing with us ❤️

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
6 hours ago, LearningWhoIAm said:

how did you originally come out to your spouse?

Hello @LearningWhoIAm. Welcome to our forum!

 

When I came out to my wife, I was in experiencing a deep depression….not so much from the gender dysphoria I was experiencing but from hiding a part of myself from her. I had never hid anything this serious from her during our (then) 20 years of marriage.

 

I agree with @Astrid who mentioned writing a coming out letter which I think is a great idea. I was caught off guard when my wife suddenly came over and sat next to me on the sofa. She then asked me with complete sincerity to please share with her what was wrong. By that time, she knew it was serious. My coming out went pretty well but if I had pre-written a letter it would have been a little more fluid and contained fewer rabbit trails. Even if you decide you don’t want to use the letter, knowing it’s contents by writing it out and reading it a few times may help you organize your thoughts and save some misunderstandings during your discussion.

 

I started from the beginning but only touched on major parts of my hidden life that led to where I was mentally and emotionally. A very important thing is to be honest and open without unloading your entire hidden life history on them all at once. Too much detail can be overwhelming and can take away from your original intent. The last thing that some overlook is finding the best time and quietest place. When I came out, I was lucky. I had the rest of the evening with my wife to discuss and answer her questions. If at all possible, a quiet setting with as few interruptions as possible (phones, tablets, etc..) will be very helpful too.

 

I wish you the very best on this upcoming disclosure and hope that your spouse receives it with an open mind and heart.❤️

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷

Link to comment
8 hours ago, LearningWhoIAm said:

Thank you! If I may ask, how did you originally come out to your spouse? I'm at a loss of how to even start. 

 

Well... I think I might have done it wrong.  I had told him before that I always felt like a boy growing up, but in our religious tradition that really didn't mean I was trans.  Trans-ness wasn't part of our understanding of the universe.  A couple years ago I pretty much lost my faith, which was awful in some ways, but it also bought me the internal freedom to find a language and set of ideas for myself that felt valid and validating. 

 

Anyhow, for me coming out was less "I've always felt like a boy" and more "the thing you knew?  It means this other thing now.". So, I guess it was more of a theological discussion, and is happening over time.  It's complicated by the fact that he kinda thinks (hopes?) this is a phase and I'll get over my religious issue and come back to the fold.  So ... I think maybe I messed it up somehow?

Link to comment
13 hours ago, Astrid said:

This did come out of the blue for her; the passage of time (now 4 years ago) has helped her to see the clear benefits of me being myself. The other major advancement forward was her agreeing to jointly attend therapy sessions (after my initial meeting), as it opened up lines of communication which are so essential to maintaining a marriage.  We're partners in this, so involving her was so important.

I agree that communication is essential. I've felt really guilty about this because my husband and I so heavily reinforce honesty in our relationship. I will also be attending therapy soon. My best friend is non binary and recommended I try at least one session with their therapist. (Their therapist has years of experience with trans, nonbinary, gnc clients). Thank you so much for your kindness and advice. I really appreciate it. 

Link to comment
12 hours ago, Zelaire said:

 

I'm so glad to hear you have several friends who are trans or otherwise gender non-conforming. I have to imagine that not only gives you a network of support, but also means your husband has been exposed to many ways of living and being, and may give him a better perspective from which to come to terms, in time, with your situation. (My wife has a very close friend who is gay, but otherwise neither of us have any trans or gnc friends.)

From one newbie to another: I'm glad you're here and sharing with us ❤️

Thank you so much! I'm very glad he has our friends, I know that he will need their perspective and support through this. We have a weekly Dungeons and Dragons group we host and we are all very close. While I want to come out one on one with my husband, I think it would be a good thing to discuss in a small group format too. 

And im very glad to be here. It's good bot to feel alone. 

Link to comment
7 hours ago, Susan R said:

Hello @LearningWhoIAm. Welcome to our forum!

 

When I came out to my wife, I was in experiencing a deep depression….not so much from the gender dysphoria I was experiencing but from hiding a part of myself from her. I had never hid anything this serious from her during our (then) 20 years of marriage.

 

I agree with @Astrid who mentioned writing a coming out letter which I think is a great idea. 

 

I wish you the very best on this upcoming disclosure and hope that your spouse receives it with an open mind and heart.❤️

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷

Thank you Susan for your wonderful advice and warm welcome! I think a letter would be a great idea, I'm just worried I'll chicken out. My husband definitely knows something is up, but there are several other major life events going on right now and I think he's attributing my stress to those. I'm hoping to come out once a few of those other stressors are resolved in the next two weeks. 

Link to comment
6 hours ago, JacobLevado said:

  It's complicated by the fact that he kinda thinks (hopes?) this is a phase and I'll get over my religious issue and come back to the fold.  So ... I think maybe I messed it up somehow?

Thank you for the advice Jacob. I'm worried that my spouse will think this is a phase too. Especially because while I was more masculine growing up, I never fully realized these thoughts until this last year. Sending support to you!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
15 minutes ago, LearningWhoIAm said:

My best friend is non binary and recommended I try at least one session with their therapist. (Their therapist has years of experience with trans, nonbinary, gnc clients).

 

That is an awesome idea. You'd be surprised how much that can help.

 

9 minutes ago, LearningWhoIAm said:

We have a weekly Dungeons and Dragons group we host and we are all very close.

 

Yeah... when I came out to my D&D group, they said, "Well DUH," and we went back to playing. They might know more than you think.

 

Best of luck sweetie!

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
4 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

Yeah... when I came out to my D&D group, they said, "Well DUH," and we went back to playing. They might know more than you think.

 

Best of luck sweetie!

 

Hugs!

My best friend is part of our D&D group and after I initially told them they keep messaging me saying that I should cosplay my half orc! (He is very handsome.) My oldest brother is also part of our D&D group and I think he knows more too but he would never say anything unless I bring something up first. 

Thank you Jackie! 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, LearningWhoIAm said:

My best friend is part of our D&D group and after I initially told them they keep messaging me saying that I should cosplay my half orc! (He is very handsome.)

 

Nice to know somebody else "cross-dresses" when they play D&D. I did that for... like two decades before I finally came out. It releases the pressure a bit, doesn't it?

 

1 hour ago, LearningWhoIAm said:

My oldest brother is also part of our D&D group and I think he knows more too but he would never say anything unless I bring something up first.

 

That's part of the code. Another member of my D&D group is trans and I had her pegged a good year before she finally came out. We don't out our brothers, sisters and friends though until they're ready, so we just sit on it and get ready to be supportive when their egg finally cracks.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

I have to say, ever since my egg cracked I have wondered about a long-time D&D/art friend of mine who ALWAYS played female characters, kept long hair, dressed androgynously... And grew up in a strongly religious household... so I've wondered maybe he's got something up in the brainpan we might talk about someday, too? 😅 Sitting on it for now, Jackie! Advice well taken.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
2 hours ago, Zelaire said:

I have to say, ever since my egg cracked I have wondered about a long-time D&D/art friend of mine who ALWAYS played female characters, kept long hair, dressed androgynously...

 

I have a friend who is CONVINCED that D&D is just for queer kids. Every one of her kids and their friends are queer in some fashion and loves to play. I keep telling her: Only HALF my group is queer. Some of them are autistic.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
11 hours ago, LearningWhoIAm said:

My best friend is non binary and recommended I try at least one session with their therapist. (Their therapist has years of experience with trans, nonbinary, gnc clients).

I'm very glad to hear that the therapist you'll be meeting with is experienced with gender non-conforming people.  Because they've worked with couples before in the same or similar situation as you two, they can provide insight that is beneficial for each/both of you.  For example, they're likely to be able to provide a prospective for your spouse about how and why gender non-conforming people feel the way they do, and introduce terms and concepts that are likely new for him. Additionally, your therapist can provide helpful guidance for you (a major reason you're there), as well as ways the two of you can keep your lines of communication open.

 

It can be difficult at times to open up to one's spouse, given how we've repressed our thoughts for so long.  It's not like flipping a light switch and changing learned behaviors immediately. That's one of the reasons therapy sessions are helpful.

 

11 hours ago, LearningWhoIAm said:

I'm worried that my spouse will think this is a phase too. Especially because while I was more masculine growing up, I never fully realized these thoughts until this last year.

 

Being [insert gender non-conforming label here] does NOT mean you have to have known since you were age 3.  There are an uncountable number of members of Transpulse who took decades to arrive at a point where they were ready to come out, many in their 50s, 60s, or even later.  (I came out to my spouse soon after my retirement at age 69, and am now 73.)  In retrospect, often through counseling, we can see signs of our past behavior that point to where we are now.  But it's often a very long process to, as you say, fully realize your thoughts.  And that's fine. 

 

The fact that I am a much happier person now, and have remained so to my spouse ever since coming out, helps to reassure her that this is not just a phase.

 

Kind regards,

 

Astrid

Link to comment
On 5/4/2022 at 8:34 PM, Astrid said:

The fact that I am a much happier person now, and have remained so to my spouse ever since coming out, helps to reassure her that this is not just a phase.

I know I would be much happier coming out. And I know my husband wants me to be happy. I just don't want to hurt him and I think this will. Thank you for the advice Astrid!

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Update to everyone: 

 

I'll be coming out to my husband once he gets home from work. I cant hide from him anymore, i feel too guilty. I've had the worst anxiety I've ever felt today. I keep crying and shaking and it just feels awful. I've never felt more afraid in my life. Wish me luck. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
11 minutes ago, LearningWhoIAm said:

Update to everyone: 

 

I'll be coming out to my husband once he gets home from work. I cant hide from him anymore, i feel too guilty. I've had the worst anxiety I've ever felt today. I keep crying and shaking and it just feels awful. I've never felt more afraid in my life. Wish me luck. 

 

Luck sweetie! May he be understanding and happy to come on this journey with you, no matter where it may lead.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
17 minutes ago, LearningWhoIAm said:

I'll be coming out to my husband once he gets home from work. I cant hide from him anymore, i feel too guilty. I've had the worst anxiety I've ever felt today. I keep crying and shaking and it just feels awful. I've never felt more afraid in my life. Wish me luck. 

 

Coming out is a cathartic experience. For me, it really reduced a lot of built-up stress and worry. May you find clarity in expressing all the things you wish to say. This is an important milestone, but it's also a point that you are soon past, and then other important things will be there for the two of you to work on, hopefully together.

 

As @Susan R mentioned, may you have a distraction-free evening to begin this new chapter in your lives.

 

Hugs and reassurance,

 

Astrid

Link to comment

@LearningWhoIAm  Best of luck!  I really feel for you. 

 

Although I'm not sure exactly who I am, I'm uncertain about what any change will mean for my relationship with my husband.  I'm sure whatever tension I'm feeling is way bigger for you.  💔  I do hope that one way or another, you'll experience peace and resolution. 

Link to comment

Another update: 

 

I think I have one of the worst coming out stories of all time.

My husband cried, yelled, slammed doors. It was a mess. He stormed out leaving me in tears. About 20 minutes later he came back. He yelled at me " What did you think would happen? That I'd say no problem sweetie I love you? I'm not gay!" He then started crying in a way that I've never seen him cry. He motioned for me to go over by the couch by him and we hugged and cried for a solid 15 minutes. We then sat next to each other and talked. I said that I didn't want to lose him, that we could grow together. He said he didn't think he could grow that much. 

 

We talked for a while after that and he said he wants to be with me "for as long as we've got." I told him I'm not going anywhere, that I'm still me. But he firmly believes that I'm going to turn into a complete stranger. 

 

Things have returned to more normal. He's cooled off now and even cooked dinner for us. 

 

I don't know what to say or think. On one hand I'm relieved that this secret is gone. On the other hand I'm heartbroken because I think once I start to medically transition my husband will leave. 

 

I feel like a monster. I feel like I've destroyed my family and my marriage. I'm so lost and I feel so alone. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 102 Guests (See full list)

    • MaeBe
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Ashley0616
    • Ivy
    • Karen Carey
    • LucyF
    • SamC
    • Mmindy
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,029
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Selkimur
    Newest Member
    Selkimur
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • LucyF
      I've got Spironolactone 100mg and Evorel 50mcg Patches (2 a week) going up to 100mg after 4 weeks 
    • Ivy
      Got a new Granddaughter this morning.  Mother and child (and father) are doing fine. This makes 7 granddaughters and one grandson.  I have 2 sons and 6 daughters myself.  And then I  switched teams.  I think this stuff runs in the family. Another hard day for the patriarchy.
    • Ivy
      Like @MaeBe pointed out, Trump won't do these things personally.  I doubt that he actually gives a rat's a$$ himself.  But he is the foot in the door for the others.   I don't really see this.  Personally, I am all in favor of "traditional" families.  I raised my own kids this way and it can work fine.  But I think we need to allow for other variations as well.   One thing working against this now is how hard it is for a single breadwinner to support a family.  Many people (I know some) would prefer "traditional" if they could actually afford it.  Like I mentioned, we raised our family with this model, but we were always right at the poverty level.   I was a "conservative evangelical" for most of my life, actually.  So I do understand this.  Admittedly, I no longer consider myself one. I have family members still in this camp.  Some tolerate me, one actually rejects me.  I assure you the rejection is on her side, not mine.  But, I understand she believes what she is doing is right - 'sa pity though. I mean no insult toward anyone on this forum.  You're free to disagree with me.  Many people do.   This is a pretty complex one.  Socialism takes many forms, many of which we accept without even realizing it.  "Classism" does exist, for what it's worth.  Always has, probably always will.  But I don't feel like that is a subject for this forum.   As for the election, it's shaping up to be another one of those "hold your nose" deals.
    • Ivy
      Just some exerts regarding subjects of interest to me.
    • Ivy
      Yeah.  In my early teens I trained myself out of a few things that I now wish I hadn't.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I was thinking in particular of BLM, who years ago had a 'What We Believe' section that sounded like they were at war with the nuclear family.   I tried to find it. Nope.  Of interest https://www.politifact.com/article/2020/aug/28/ask-politifact-does-black-lives-matter-aim-destroy/   My time is limited and I will try to answer as I can.
    • Ivy
      Well, I suppose it is possible that they don't actually plan on doing what they say.  I'm not too sure I want to take that chance.  But I kinda expect to find out.  Yet, perhaps you're right and it's all just talk.  And anyway, my state GOP is giving me enough to worry about anyway. I remember a time when being "woke" just meant you were paying attention.  Now it means you are the antichrist. I just don't want the government "protecting" me from my personal "delusions."
    • MaeBe
      1.  I think there are some legitimate concern.   2. Thoroughly discussing this will consume many threads.   3. I disagree partially with @MaeBe but there is partial agreement.   4. The context includes what is happening in society that the authors are observing.  It is not an isolated document.   The observation is through a certain lens, because people do things differently doesn't mean they're doing it wrong. Honestly, a lot of the conservative rhetoric is morphing desires of people to be treated with respect and social equity to be tantamount to the absolution of the family, heterosexuality, etc. Also, being quiet and trying to blend in doesn't change anything. Show me a social change that benefits a minority or marginalized group that didn't need to be loud.   5. Trump, if elected, is as likely to spend his energies going after political opponents as he is to implementing something like this.   Trump will appoint people to do this, like Roger Severino (who was appointed before, who has a record of anti-LGBTQ+ actions), he need not do anything beyond this. His people are ready to push this agenda forward. While the conservative right rails about bureaucracy, they intend to weaponize it. There is no question. They don't want to simplify government, they simply want to fire everyone and bring in conservative "warriors" (their rhetoric). Does America survive 4 year cycles of purge/cronyism?   6. I reject critical theory, which is based on Marxism.  Marxism has never worked and never will.  Critical theory has problems which would need time to go into, which I do not have.   OK, but this seems like every other time CRT comes up with conservatives...completely out of the blue. I think it's reference is mostly just to spark outrage from the base. Definitely food thought for a different thread, though.   7. There are groups who have declared war on the nuclear family as problematically patriarchal, and a lot of other terms. They are easy to find on the internet.  This document is reacting to that (see #4 above).   What is the war on the nuclear family? I searched online and couldn't find much other than reasons why people aren't getting married as much or having kids (that wasn't a propaganda from Heritage or opinions pieces from the right that paint with really broad strokes). Easy things to see: the upward mobility and agency of women, the massive cost of rearing children, general negative attitudes about the future, male insecurity, etc. None of this equates to a war on the nuclear family, but I guess if you look at it as "men should be breadwinners and women must get married for financial support and extend the male family line (and to promote "National Greatness") I could see the decline of marriage as a sign of the collapse of a titled system and, if I was a beneficiary of that system or believe that to NOT be tilted, be aggrieved.   8.  Much of this would have to be legislated, and this is a policy documented.  Implementation would  be most likely different, but that does not mean criticism is unwarranted.   "It might be different if you just give it a chance", unlike all the other legislation that's out there targeting LGBTQ+ from the right, these are going to be different? First it will be trans rights, then it will be gay marriage, and then what? Women's suffrage?   I get it, we may have different compasses, but it's not hard to see that there's no place for queer people in the conservative worldview. There seems to be a consistent insistence that "America was and is no longer Great", as if the 1950s were the pinnacle of society, completely ignoring how great America still is and can continue to be--without having to regress society to the low standards of its patriarchal yesteryears.    
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Cadillac parts are pretty expensive, so repairing them costs more.  But they don't seem to break down more than other makes.  Lots of Lincoln models use Ford cars as a base, so you can get parts that aren't much more expensive.    My family has had good luck with "Panther platform" cars.  Ford Crown Victoria, Mercury Marquis, Lincoln Towncar or Continental.  4.6 V8 and 5.0 V8.  Reasonable fuel economy, and fairly durable.  Our county sheriff's office was running Chargers and SUV's for a while, but has gone back to older Crown Victorias for ease of maintenance.  GF rebuilds them here.  But they are getting more scarce, since the newest ones were made in 2011.    1992-1997 years were different than the later years.  1998-2001 they did some changes, and apparently the best years are 2003 to 2011.  Check Craigslist, and also government auctions.  GF has gotten a lot of them at auction, and they can be had in rough-but-running shape for around $1,000.  Ones in great shape can be found in the $5,000+ range.  Good for 200,000 miles without significant rebuilding.  Go through engine and transmission and electrical systems, and they go half a million.    Some Chrysler models are OK.  The 300 mostly has the same engines as the Charger and Challenger, so parts availability is pretty good.  But they tend to get timing issues.  The older Chrysler Sebring convertibles were pretty reliable, sometimes going 200,000 miles without tons of problems, although after that they were pretty much worn out. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think I have read everything the Southern Baptists have to say on transgender, and it helped convince me they are dead wrong on these issues.  They can be nice people.  I would never join an SBC church.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You come across as a thoughtful, sweet, interesting and pleasant person.    There are parts of this country, and more so the world, where evangelicals experience a great deal of finger wagging.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      It has been an interesting experience being in a marriage in a Christian faith community, yet being intersex/trans.  I stay pretty quiet, and most have kind of accepted that I'm just the strange, harmless exception.  "Oh, that's just Jen.  Jen is...different."  I define success as being a person most folks just overlook. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, I live in an area with a lot of Southern Baptists, Evangelicals, etc...  We've experienced our share of finger-wagging, as the "standard interpretation" of Scripture in the USA is that the Bible only approves of "one man, one woman" marriage.  My faith community is mostly accepted here, but that has taken time and effort.  It can be tough at times to continue to engage with culture and the broader population, and avoid the temptation to huddle up behind walls like a cult.    Tolerance only goes so far.  At one point, my husband was asked to run for sheriff.  He declined, partly because an elected official with four wives would have a REALLY tough time.  (Of course, making way less than his current salary wasn't an option either). 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      My bone structure is far more female than male.  I can't throw like a guy, which has been observed by guys numerous times, and moving like a woman is more natural.  It just is.  I'm not going out of my way to act in a fem. way, as you say, but I am letting go of some of the 'I am not going to move like that because I am a guy' stuff I have defensively developed.  The other breaks through anyway - there were numerous looks from people at work when I would use gestures that are forbidden to men, or say something spontaneously no guy would ever say.   At one point, maybe a year or more ago, I said it was unfair for people to think they were dealing with a man when they were actually dealing with a woman.    Girl here.  'What is a woman' is a topic for another day.
    • Willow
      Mom, I’m home!  What’s for lunch?   Leftover pizza .   ok.    Not exactly our conversation but there is truth in the answer.     @KymmieLsorry you are sick. Feel better soon.   Girl mode, boy mode no mode, not us. Nothing functional for either of us.   anyone here have or had a 10 year old (plus or minus) Caddy, Lincoln or Chrysler?  How was it?  Lots of repairs?  Comfortable seats? Anything positive or negative about it?  I need to replace my 2004 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer, it’s eating $100 dollar bills and needs a couple of thousand dollars worth of work and that doesn’t even fix the check engine code.  Obviously, it isn’t worth putting that kind of money into a 20 year old car with a 174 thousand miles.   Willow
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...