Sometimes, it's more awkward to not be out than to come out.

[Davie]

Sometimes, it's more awkward to not be out than to come out.  

 

I came out to a couple, and long-time friends but who are big gossipers. Today,

and feel OK about it. "Maybe you just don't care as much WHO knows now,"

said another friend. I guess.

— Davie

[Astrid]

1 hour ago, Davie said:

"Maybe you just don't care as much WHO knows now,"

said another friend.

 

I can certainly identify with this thought.  When I first came out to my spouse, we spent time carefully thinking about who we thought should know, and who shouldn't.  Fast forward four years, and it is not nearly as important a topic.

[Davie]

1 hour ago, Astrid said:

Fast forward four years, and it is not nearly as important a topic.

Thanks for the perspective. What's important now vs in another year, Things change.

—Davie  

[Charlize]

Sometimes allowing others to "spread the word" through gossip releases us.  We almost are forced to simply be who we are.  Fear of being found out soon passes and in my case I've finally found peace.  I hope the same comes to you.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[KathyLauren]

There was a brief time, a few years ago, when I was not fully out, and only a handful of trusted friends knew.  Trying to keep track of who knew and who might blab to whom was tiring.  And, of course, there was the dysphoria of going back to guy mode after being myself for a few hours.

 

12 hours ago, Davie said:

"Maybe you just don't care as much WHO knows now,"

 

Exactly!  It was a relief to come out publicly, and not have to care who knew.  I don't go around introducing myself as, "Hi, I'm Kathy, and I am transgender".  But if someone guesses, or hears about me via the grapevine, I don't care.  It's the truth, and it is not a secret.

 

I told quite a few people in person, and a lot via email.  I had to do some planning of that process, because I wanted my friends and associates to hear it first from me.  So I had to figure out which groups had members in common, so I could synchronize their messages.

 

But now that everyone I care about knows, I really don't care who they gossip to.  It is a relief!

[Davie]

1 hour ago, Charlize said:

 We almost are forced to simply be who we are.  Fear of being found out soon passes and in my case I've finally found peace.  I hope the same comes to you.

OK. Sounds like experience talking so I hear that. Time for peace. For sure.

Thanks,

Davie