A Rant About My Experience

[Sol]

So, I came out to my parents and both sets of grandparents. This was infinitely harder than coming out to my friends or sibling, and much scarier.

The first set of grandparents were supportive but not accepting. I say this because while they do love me and didn't act any different toward me, they still call me by feminine titles despite me saying that I don't want to be called them multiple times, and I'm just really tired of it.

I'm convinced my parents have moved on from me almost in tears from coming out, to having an argument about it with my mom and how she wouldn't call me they or he and how she doesn't get it and sees sex as equal to gender. She then followed it up with how I need more life experience and what she was doing when she was my age and I just walked away because I got so sick and tired of it. I received an article about how a trangender person thought that my generation was "taking it too far," the very next day. Even when I asked them to just call me by my name, I still hear "girls" and "she." And I'm so damn tired of it.

My last set of grandparents I came out to yesterday over the phone. I'll be seeing them at the end of the month, but I just said I was trans. I didn't explain further, I didn't do any long winded things of how I felt, I just said I was trans and I liked myself for the first time since... a long time. I was told I was loved, and I didn't hear any she or hers on the phone, and it was the most positive reaction I've received out of my family. I might have to explain more later, set boundaries and say what I'm comfortable with, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Really, I'm just waiting for everyone to realize that I'm not backing down from this. I'm not going to change my mind, this isn't a phase or internet trend. And eventually, they'll all have to realize that they have a son and a grandson, whether they feel comfortable with it or not. This sounds cruel, but their comfort isn't my responsibility, and I don't care about it with this. This isn't about their comfort, it's about me. Not just my identity, me. 

I like myself more than I ever have in my life once I figured this out, and I'm not letting anyone take that away from me.

[DonkeySocks]

2 hours ago, Sol said:

Really, I'm just waiting for everyone to realize that I'm not backing down from this. I'm not going to change my mind, this isn't a phase or internet trend. And eventually, they'll all have to realize that they have a son and a grandson, whether they feel comfortable with it or not. This sounds cruel, but their comfort isn't my responsibility, and I don't care about it with this. This isn't about their comfort, it's about me. Not just my identity, me. 

I like myself more than I ever have in my life once I figured this out, and I'm not letting anyone take that away from me.

It is indeed exhausting. However, you can skip a step here. It's true that you "need more life experience", and part of what that will teach you is that you don't need to wait for them to realize anything. You can try to train them to use correct pronouns, that's awesome, and other than that, the only thing you need to do is the not backing down part. You've got that part completely in your control, so that's amazing. As for waiting for them, that takes energy, so if they ever realize it, fine, and if they don't, well, it can be aggravating, but you can handle that. You don't need to add a step that has anything to do with their behavior. Keep on going.