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I came out to my right wing brother...


JacobLevado

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Phew.  I was at the point where I wanted to come out to some people in my rather dysfunctional family of origin, and as I strategized I realised I'd have to tell my brother.  My brother is extremely conservative, right wing kind of guy, and we haven't been very close as adults.  I sent him a text with no small amount of trepidation, and I couldn't have asked for a better response.  He led with, "first, I love you no matter what.  Second, I also have no idea what the terms you are using mean exactly, could you explain." After a bit of an explanation, he said, "cool!  I always wanted a brother!"

 

And that was that.

 

I needed the reminder, after a troubled week for Rainbow people here in NZ, that good will can be found where you least expect it.  And holy crud it's cool I'm a big brother now!

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  • Forum Moderator
6 minutes ago, JacobLevado said:

After a bit of an explanation, he said, "cool!  I always wanted a brother!"

What a great update @JacobLevado. This may give you two another chance at building a relationship…who knows. I would be a little hopeful anyways. I’m very happy for you! Also, a big congrats too for taking the risk and moving forward. Now you can take a deep breath and move on the the rest of the world.

 

My Best,

Susan R🌷

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Awesome that it went well for you!  Just goes to show that sometimes we worry and it turns out OK.  Since you haven't been close as adults, maybe this will be a catalyst for you to reconnect with each other.  🙂

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On 6/19/2022 at 12:58 AM, JacobLevado said:

he said, "cool!  I always wanted a brother!"

 

I realized I was holding my breath while reading your post, and when I got to this part, I nearly cried. This is wonderful, @JacobLevado . Congratulations! 

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2 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

 

I realized I was holding my breath while reading your post, and when I got to this part, I nearly cried. This is wonderful, @JacobLevado . Congratulations! 

Yeah. Me too. Wonderful. Now would you please call my right-wing brother?

— Davie

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Awww... thanks for all the comments. All, we had a video chat today, and he emphasized again that he loves and accepts me for who I am.  We had a good time laughing about how good it was I didn't have to worry about how to tell our dad (as he's passed... I know, grim humour, but it's ours).

 

 @Davie I totally wish I had some magic... I think it's all just luck, and the hard work of a couple generations now of trans people getting the word out.  

 

@Vidanjali I cried when I got his last text, too!  Holy crap, I couldn't have even hoped for that response before it happened.

 

 

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So glad to read this, Jacob. Good for you, for being brave, and so happy that you have a supportive brother--goes to show that we're all human, no matter what color hat we wear. That gives me hope, too. 😊

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  • 9 months later...

Jacob 

congrats dear.

I'd say you got lucky.

I told my 2 siblings n I cried too, because 1 started sending me texts of how I'm possessed by Satan n doomed to hell...but we can still be friends, just don't talk about any of your pervert sicko trans or gay stuff. oh yeah, that. the center of my world now

so I almost tossed everything, returned a lot of clothes n cancelled appointments  n go m hair cut short after 6 months the next day.2 weeks later silent sibling sent text to check..n I said I been crying constantly n they said don't buy into that bs ...that version of heaven has no gays, no lez  no trans, no non whites  no poor people etc...be you if this is you

 

thank God for that encouragement 

 

love you all girls

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On 6/19/2022 at 12:58 AM, JacobLevado said:

He led with, "first, I love you no matter what.

Jacob,

 

These are the most important words a person can hear, read, or sign when it comes to family communications. I also think that we tend to lump all conservatives into one negative group. Many are more about individual liberties, and smaller government. When it comes to social matters they could care less about what you do as an adult. So I don't want this to go down the political gutter, lets focus on the real joy in your post.

 

Your Bother Loves You No Matter What!

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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I love your brothers reaction.  My ex military older brother is happy with a young sister as well.  Funny how for a long time he would send me articles he found about trans folks as he found his own understanding.  He had caught me dressed as a child but has never seemed to put that together with transition.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

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  • 1 month later...

That's great! My sister was pretty happy to get a sister, so yay when it goes well.

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I. inspired to see sometimes you can salvage a sibling relationship..but it takes open minds n work. 

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On 4/8/2023 at 9:04 AM, Mmindy said:

Jacob,

 

These are the most important words a person can hear, read, or sign when it comes to family communications. I also think that we tend to lump all conservatives into one negative group. Many are more about individual liberties, and smaller government. When it comes to social matters they could care less about what you do as an adult. So I don't want this to go down the political gutter, lets focus on the real joy in your post.

 

Your Bother Loves You No Matter What!

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Very well said, Mindy ... I too crave to hear the words "I love you no matter what" ... not there yet with my fam... Thanks for sharing such good news...

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my siblings re assured me fir 2 weeks prior to my telling them I was trans...we will always be here  no mater what..not 24 hrs later 1 said well, I cannot support, endorse or help with thst..that is sin n insanity n satanic possession

..and started preaching at me n referring to me as a thing. 

 

yes, it can be far different from no matter what  I'll always love you.

 

I'm happy for any whose results have been better than mine. good luck friends

 

hugs

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I'm happy for you standing up and being brave.

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I think others are brave.

 

me? just trying to lead my life as this path I don't understand either leads me into the great journey.

 

dear friends said what I'd hoped family would tell us all, I don't understand n not sure I can help you with some stuff, but we love you n we may need time to adjust so please help us n give us time, but we're here day or night for anything  a shoulder or an ear or you need someone to go somewhere I guess I'll go with you for support because we do love you.

 

alas I also wonder why society that doesn't like us, cannot simply tolerate us as different but still humans entitled to common courtesy n respect n kindness.

here's hoping girls.

 

hugs to all

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That is so fantastic Jacob. Congratulations! And greetings from across the Tasman.

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