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Public showers and facilities


Maevia

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So I'm starting a new job Monday, it's a remote site job. I'll be sharing a woman's washroom with all the other girls in whichever bunkhouse they put me in. There's also a sauna too which I sorta wanna use, and opportunities to swim.. I'm pre bottom surgery and really need help with ideas on how I can use the sauna and public showers while hiding my natal bits, really scared an stressed over this 

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I was recently on a cruise and also wanted to use the pool and the Jacuzzi.  I bought a swimsuit with a kind of attached skirt or ruffle.  It worked great (as far as i know) and hid what needed to be hidden.  I got no more stares than I normally get, and certainly no one complained.  There are many such swimsuit styles available.  Good luck!

 

Carolyn Marie

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I'd second the "swimskirt" idea.  And also fabric in a pattern like checker or paisley that is naturally "disruptive" of contour.  It also depends on how large your original equipment is.  I was born female, but I'm intersex so my female parts are rather noticeable through fabric.  It has always been awkward, so if confronted perhaps you could use that as a kind of excuse?

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Well it hasn't been too bad so far, the showers have a curtain, a small area for hanging clothes and then another curtain. So I have the privacy to hide away at least. 

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I do use a skirted swimsuit.  While an orchiectomy created much less bulk i still am more comfortable.  

Glad you have curtained showers.  As my wife and i camped across the country i found that any campsite with showers had some privacy in the women's showers.  Sauna's could be awkward.... can you use towel?

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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  • 3 weeks later...

Around 4 months ago on campus I had to use the bathroom and I had to use the women's restroom. I would not consider myself as looking very masculine (yet) but I am not very feminine either. I was the only one there at the time and I felt very uncomfortable. This is why I always have to use the bathroom before I leave anywhere, it makes me feel unsafe. 

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  • 3 months later...

I feel I'm approaching a crossroads of sorts.  Still barely started on transition, I have enough development on my chest to feel self conscious in the locker room/showers at the gym I work out at.  I am nowhere near full time so I still go as my old male self.  

 

I don't know how I will handle things as my appearance leans more and more into the feminine.  I think the time for using the women's facilities will be when I get my name change and my ID gender marker changed (which is still a far off dream).  Will I be able to get the gym management to simply switch my identity to reflect my new documents and let me switch locker rooms?  I don't really mingle and talk with other members there, but will I be familiar enough to regulars for them to notice my "change of venue"?  I am thinking I will have to cancel my membership there and join as Abby at a different gym.  (anyone here already gone through such a situation, how did you handle it?)

 

On the subject of skimpy clothing on pre-op girls, has anyone here used these stick-on tuck things I see ads for online?  One that comes to mind is called Unclockable.  It looks like it would be really uncomfortable to me but have never met anyone who has tried it.  I prefer ideas such as I see here, skirts and patterns to cover or diminish visible signs.  

 

 

 

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6 hours ago, Abigail Eleanor said:

I think the time for using the women's facilities will be when I get my name change and my ID gender marker changed (which is still a far off dream).  Will I be able to get the gym management to simply switch my identity to reflect my new documents and let me switch locker rooms?

@Abigail Eleanor, I can remember how difficult the stage you’re fast approaching was to get through. There were so many unknowns and at the time I had really no one I could openly discuss it with except my spouse who is slightly bias🙂. There was about a 4 month period before coming out to the world and legally changing my name, gender and ID’s where I had developed breasts that would not allow me to pass as male in a male locker room. I wanted to start working out at a gym but I held off signing up at my local YMCA until I came out and legally changed everything as you are discussing.

 

In my state, after the legal name & gender changes happened, I then had a legal right to use the ladies locker room. I’ll be honest, I was nervous in the beginning even with the state laws backing me in that way. I was first accompanied by my wife and a gf of ours which helped but I still had no idea how or if the other women in the locker room would react. Thankfully, I’ve been working out there for over 3 years (less one year due to covid) and I have never had a negative reaction. There are so many variables that play into it (i.e.;  state laws, conservative vs. liberal attitudes, the staff at your fitness facility, your confidence level & attitude, your presentation and mannerisms, etc..) Although no one can assure you whether another person will take offense at your presence in the locker room, the fact is that you deserve the same access as they do as long as you’re within your rights and local laws.

 

I wish you the best in this difficult transition stage but you’ll get through it..just be yourself!

 

*Hugs*

Susan R🌷

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Glad they have the curtain!

 

I believe the feelings of dealing with this issue can be motivation to take steps every day towards your transition goals.

 

For me, this was name change, legal gender change, physical changes, and personality changes.

 
And then starting over  with new places and people where I am true me from day one.

 

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All the changes I mention are important for me when it comes to my confidence using a public shower or locker rooms.

 

To me, these places are a big deal!

 It’s no wonder you were scared or stressed.!

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Hello @Susan R and @Maddee 😊

 

It's so great to get more concrete knowledge about this great unknown I am facing, thank you both. It helps to make this part of the path feel more navigable. 

 

 

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    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Indeed.  While it seems like the majority of LGBTQ+ folks vote for Democrat candidates, not everybody drinks the Kool-Aid.  I'm a registered Independent, since I vote for individuals rather than party.  One of my trans friends is very pro-Trump - wears her MAGA hat and everything.  I find it interesting to see the reactions she gets... folks aren't always as tolerant as they claim to be.  Even on this forum, you get some real flak from Democrat voters....many will insist that the California way is the only way.    In my opinion, "Project 2025" isn't the real problem.  Check out UN "Agenda 2030."   
    • awkward-yet-sweet
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    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Interesting...never knew any of this.  Of course, in my girl form I never got breasts, so I never had to worry about it.  A couple of pieces of tape would have been sufficient...      Sounds like fun   It has been interesting for me since I stopped trying to do sex like a girl.  The real surprise was my relationship with my husband, as he has figured me out pretty well. 
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      Women's jeans, soft t-shirt that could go either way, flip-flops. 
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      You are in the right place.
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    • Ivy
      Whether it was a hate crime or not, it's still horrible.
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