Hi, I’m Dash!

[DashDashDash]

Hello! I’m Dash! I was AFAB and, after thirty years of struggle with my gender, have been living openly non-binary transmasculine for the past year and a half with my super supportive cisgender husband of ten years and our nine kids. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been feeling more and more like I may be a man. I’m slowly working through my feelings and experiences and trying to figure myself out. A friend suggested I join an online group, so here I am!

 

I’m an early childhood education professional with a passion for reading, cooking & eating, and drawing cartoons. Most of my time is spent on my master’s program, work, and being with my kids, one of whom is genderfluid.

[VickySGV]

Welcome to the forums, hopefully we can help you find your true self and true identity along with it.

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Dash!  It's nice to meet you.  It's wonderful to hear that your husband is supportive.  That always helps ease the path forward.  Nine kids, eh?!  Wow.  That's amazing.

 

Along with being here, you might want to seek out a gender therapist, if you can fit one into your schedule.  They can really help you figure things out and plot a strategy to move ahead, if that is your goal.  Please fee free to post wherever in the forums you like, and ask any questions.  We'll try to be of help.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[NashySlashy]

Hi Dash! I'm Nash.

 

It's so great your husband is so supportive of you! That's hard to find nowadays. You're very lucky!

 

Welcome to Trans Pulse. ❤️

[Vidanjali]

Welcome @DashDashDash ! Sounds like you have a lovely family. What's it like relating to your genderfluid kid as you're both discovering your gender experience? Obviously, it's different in many ways, particularly because your child is developing & extremely lucky, I might add, to be a member of a supportive household, whereas you are discovering your gender as an adult. Looking forward to learning more about you. Cheers! 

[DashDashDash]

Thanks, all! I feel very lucky that my spouse is supportive. We’ve had many talks over the years about gender & sexuality. My kids are also amazing. When it comes to the rest of my family, apart from two people, they don’t really include us anymore. My relationship with my mother & paternal grandmother are particularly strained. 
 

I am in the process of securing a gender therapist to help me work through it all. 
 

I will say having a genderfluid child is a complicated experience for me. I first started having gender dysphoria in elementary school, so when my 6 (now 7) year old expressed to me that they are sometimes a boy and sometimes a girl, I knew how important it would be for me to be unwaveringly supportive & allow them to explore their gender. But, I did also struggle with the thought that perhaps they are just doing this because I identified as non-binary and they think I’m cool so… But, then I realized that it’s not my job to question them. It’s my job to love them and make sure they feel supported. So, every morning I ask which pronouns they want to use that day and they style themselves however they feel. We have lots of talks about how they feel and what certain friends and teachers say or how they act when they tell them. They ask me a lot of questions about my childhood and my relationship with gender. Above all things, I’m trying to be the adult I needed in my life when I was a child figuring myself out. 

[Heather Shay]

Hello DashDashDash and welcome. I see you've met some wonderful people here already.

[Vidanjali]

2 hours ago, DashDashDash said:

I'm trying to be the adult I needed in my life when I was a child figuring myself out. 

 

Wow. That's intense & also very beautiful. I hope you ultimately experience peace and healing throughout. 

[gennee]

Hello Dash and welcome to the site.  I'm happy that you have decide to be the real you. Having support from your spouse is a big plus. Wish you all the best in your journey.

 

🙂

[Delcina B]

Welcome Dash! Glad you're here! Happy for you having a supportive spouse, & enough kids to field your own baseball team, that's neat (& I imagine a very busy house). I love your post of wanting to be the parent you needed! I hope you find the wonderful support, advice & acceptance here as I have.

 

Hugs!

Delcina 

[Russ Fenrisson]

Welcome Dash! It's great you're making such a big decision; now is the best time than ever to do what you want to do. I think it's awesome your spouse is so supportive of you. It's a great feeling when those closest to you are so accepting.

 

I myself had struggled for quite a while too in my mid-schooling years. When I started learning about the LGBT+ community and how some individuals aligned with and felt similar as I did, the stress I had before started to chip away. A little bit is still there but with time, it's sure to go away.

 

What you're doing with your kid is great. Experimenting and trying out different things is important in the formative years and you're doing the right thing to help them out. Keep up the good work. 👍