Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

New Here and Confused


Nagi

Recommended Posts

I am girl, I think. 

 

I wouldn't call myself Trans. Or even part of the Trans Youth, normally. 

I've allways seen myself as a woman. I haven't been questioning my gender until I figured out my sexuality. Suprise! I didn't so know I am confused. I use to think I had a crush on this Guy, Lets name him A. He was trans (FtM) I dated him before he transitioned after he came out to me, I still liked him despite me labeling myself as Lesbian. Spolier alert he broke up with me. I dated a woman later down the road. still labeling myself as lesbian. Eventually, I started to question my gender. I felt like a woman, but I still hated some of my woman parts. Mainly my breasts. I wish I has smaller ones, or they didn't exist at all. I don't nesserially wish to get a Penis, but I don't feel so attached to my own Vagina either. I thought of myself as Non-binary but I still liked my femmine side. Not saying when you are a guy or NB you can't feel femine. But there were days I liked my breasts and other days I wished I didn't have them. I ended up sticking with She/They pronouns. Then I started working at a Part Time Job, There is this guy lets call him N. He is 23 Cis i believe. And I thought I liked him. Despite the fact that I am a minor. He was cool and like smart and all things I like. He wasn't the prettist guy I've seen to put it nicely, but he was a nice guy. I got jealous that He could hold things with one hand because he had bigger Masculine hands while I was stuck with tinyer femmine hands. Ever since I was young I was Jealous of things boys or men could do. I would go by Unlabled under both gender and sexuality, but I don't feel comfortable without a label. So yeah... I need help. Having gender Crisis. 😃

Amoung other things. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome to TransPulseForums Nagi,

 

Your since of wonder about where you belong in a relationship and how to identify yourself is very common. There’s a lot of people here who can relate to your situation. 
 

Best wishes, stay positive, and motivated 

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Link to comment

Hi Nagi,

 

Sex and gender can both be very confusing. I had some questions after I became Stephie. Seeing how I believe I was always Stephie but didn't recognize this until I was in my 50s. My gender fog had blunted my awareness. Lot's of clues missed, lot's of almost moments, but no ah-ha moment that I was a girl. But, once I recognized I was a woman, I have never look back. Hopefully you will come to that point. My sexuality. I am attracted to woman, and have never been attracted to men. But, am I attracted to transgender woman only (first thought), or is it just all woman period, besides their transgender status. I just settle on someone was a female (trans or cis). After all I have been partner with ciswoman for over 30 years, but I still find many transgender woman desirable along with many woman.

 

There was one catch, which now looks permanent (always remembering the future is open) I still had a male sex organ and feel is pretty useless as far as sex is concern, but I still worry of having feelings down their. This happen the last time I started to get intimate with my partner I felt a stir down there and immediately pulled back. This was quit disappointing. I can't even kiss my partner. But I have an ace in my pocket. I love orgasming by prostate stimulation. Something I fine far more pleasurable than any feeling with that icky thing below. But, it looks like it will stay in place after a difficult neck surgery and recovery (which brought on opiate dependency). I feel I can not go through with another major surgery again. So I have actually settle on being self-sexual, and I find this preferable, although hugging and kissing a woman is still a pleasure I desire.

 

Nagi, I realize I am coming from different situation gender wise and sexually, but I do wish you all the best. I still have a spot in my heart for all transgender or gender non-conforming persons.

Link to comment

Welcome, @Nagi . It takes time to get to know yourself. That's natural. You're one step ahead though in that you're entertaining your curiosity. I think your pondering the distinction between envy and attraction is quite astute. Just keep sharing and interacting here - you'll learn a lot. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Nice to have you onboard @Nagi. Most, if not all, transgender people question sexuality and/or gender at some point in their journey. You’re surrounded by supportive people here and most eventually build trust here with our members. Some feel more comfortable with labels and some don’t…possibly because no label can accurately articulate who we really are. They can also often change and fluctuate in time as we begin to change and sort things out about ourselves. For some, it gives us a little bearing on who we’re are in relation to others.

 

We would enjoy learning more about you so feel free to post as you feel the need. We can offer advice, support and friendship if you give us a chance. Thank you for opening up and sharing a little about yourself today. Hope to read more about you down the road.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷

Link to comment

Hi Nagi!

welcome😊

 

To be honest, I’m confused too, from reading your post.  
 

Maybe you’re still figuring yourself out, and things will become clearer a little further on?

 

I suggest two things:

 

1 Continue to grow and experience things like your place in relationships, what you like, etc.  So far you seem to be doing this, yay!
Even pain and mistakes can propel us forward.  Stopping growth and hiding from experiences takes us nowhere and can trap you for years if you let it.

 

2. Think very carefully about how sure you are,  before doing anything medical regarding transition (hormones, surgeries), or legal (like name change or legal gender change).  
 

For me, I began serious transition years later than I would be thought ideal, BUT I had enough experience to know I was sure.  
 

Good luck and bless you hun

🌈🌈

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome Nagi,

I cannot offer any warmer welcome than you've already received from the wonderful people here. I'm glad you TP.

Hugs

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 133 Guests (See full list)

    • Ashley0616
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • MaryEllen
    • Jamey-Heather
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,028
    • Most Online
      8,356

    earthpatch
    Newest Member
    earthpatch
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, I live in an area with a lot of Southern Baptists, Evangelicals, etc...  We've experienced our share of finger-wagging, as the "standard interpretation" of Scripture in the USA is that the Bible only approves of "one man, one woman" marriage.  My faith community is mostly accepted here, but that has taken time and effort.  It can be tough at times to continue to engage with culture and the broader population, and avoid the temptation to huddle up behind walls like a cult.    Tolerance only goes so far.  At one point, my husband was asked to run for sheriff.  He declined, partly because an elected official with four wives would have a REALLY tough time.  (Of course, making way less than his current salary wasn't an option either). 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      My bone structure is far more female than male.  I can't throw like a guy, which has been observed by guys numerous times, and moving like a woman is more natural.  It just is.  I'm not going out of my way to act in a fem. way, as you say, but I am letting go of some of the 'I am not going to move like that because I am a guy' stuff I have defensively developed.  The other breaks through anyway - there were numerous looks from people at work when I would use gestures that are forbidden to men, or say something spontaneously no guy would ever say.   At one point, maybe a year or more ago, I said it was unfair for people to think they were dealing with a man when they were actually dealing with a woman.    Girl here.  'What is a woman' is a topic for another day.
    • Willow
      Mom, I’m home!  What’s for lunch?   Leftover pizza .   ok.    Not exactly our conversation but there is truth in the answer.     @KymmieLsorry you are sick. Feel better soon.   Girl mode, boy mode no mode, not us. Nothing functional for either of us.   anyone here have or had a 10 year old (plus or minus) Caddy, Lincoln or Chrysler?  How was it?  Lots of repairs?  Comfortable seats? Anything positive or negative about it?  I need to replace my 2004 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer, it’s eating $100 dollar bills and needs a couple of thousand dollars worth of work and that doesn’t even fix the check engine code.  Obviously, it isn’t worth putting that kind of money into a 20 year old car with a 174 thousand miles.   Willow
    • Ashley0616
      Oversized pink shirt, pink and black sports bra
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think you mean the worst possible interpretation of 2025 situation.  Keep in mind that there are those who will distort and downright lie about anything coming from conservatives - I have seen it time and time again.  It's one of the reasons I want to read the thing slowly and carefully.  They want you to be very, very afraid. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Here is where the expectation is that the stereotypical evangelical comes in finger wagging, disapproving and condemning.    Not gonna do that.   You have to work these things out.  Transgender issues put a whole different spin on everything and God understands what we are going through. I have enough trouble over here.  :)
    • Ivy
      You do you. You seem to be in a safe place if we end up with a 2025 situation.  But a lot of us are not.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, my marriage is different.  I'm actually part of a multi-partner marriage.  Like you see in the Book of Genesis.  My husband has four wives...and me.  I was kind of an accident, as our community sets the "reasonable maximum" at four wives, but that's a long story.  Plural marriage is approved in my faith community, with the exception of spiritual leaders, as described in 1 Timothy 3.  We believe that anything that isn't specifically prohibited is permitted.    The purpose of marriage is for people to work together, demonstrate the love of God, and to have children.  My faith believes in exponential reproduction - big families with lots of kids, both as a blessing and with the intention of using the size of our population for political ends.  Being intersex/trans and unable to bear children, I wouldn't have been a good candidate to be somebody's only spouse (the majority of our community tends toward traditional couple marriage).  Since my husband has other partners, I don't have to worry about the childbearing aspect, and I help out with raising our family's kids.  I'm a "bonus parent."    I'm not 100% open about my intersex/trans nature, although my community's leaders are aware of me.  Being transgender isn't condemned, but it is seen as a health problem derived from an imperfect, fallen world and an environment polluted with chemicals.  Since I'm married, I have a safe place to be, and I can live how I need to live.    I firmly believe the advice given in 1 Corinthians 7.  We don't totally own our bodies.  God gets a say, as I believe He created us to be male or female, not something outside the binary.  I don't think that transition without discussion with partners is OK....again, we don't totally own ourselves.  When I started to figure myself out, that was actually the main thing on my mind - will my partners accept me?  How will my position in the family change?  Since my partners don't really have a problem with the mild version of transition that I wanted to do, it has all been good. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Indeed.  While it seems like the majority of LGBTQ+ folks vote for Democrat candidates, not everybody drinks the Kool-Aid.  I'm a registered Independent, since I vote for individuals rather than party.  One of my trans friends is very pro-Trump - wears her MAGA hat and everything.  I find it interesting to see the reactions she gets... folks aren't always as tolerant as they claim to be.  Even on this forum, you get some real flak from Democrat voters....many will insist that the California way is the only way.    In my opinion, "Project 2025" isn't the real problem.  Check out UN "Agenda 2030."   
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      While Biden may be more friendly to trans folks, I'm not a single-issue voter.  I just can't choose a Democrat candidate, as I believe their actions will destroy my community and way of life.  Biden just announced that he wants to significantly increase capital gains taxes.  Maybe he intends to "tax the rich" but that is going to affect everything from land sales to grocery prices to the cost of electricity and even folks' retirement savings, as most companies make a large amount of their profits through investing in the market.  It is absolute lunacy to think that increased cost or reduced profits won't be passed on to the rest of us.  Things are going to get way worse at this rate.    Mostly, I vote in elections for state and local issues, as the national government is about as pleasant as a Porta-Potty in July.  So, either I'll do a write-in vote for president, or I'll check the box for Trump.  Anything but Biden.     
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Interesting...never knew any of this.  Of course, in my girl form I never got breasts, so I never had to worry about it.  A couple of pieces of tape would have been sufficient...      Sounds like fun   It has been interesting for me since I stopped trying to do sex like a girl.  The real surprise was my relationship with my husband, as he has figured me out pretty well. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Women's jeans, soft t-shirt that could go either way, flip-flops. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      They were sitting on the love seat, looking west out over Kansas.  Below them the busy city ran to and fro.   "They called.  My surgery has been rescheduled for May 8.  I need to be there at 5 AM for pre-op.  I start prescriptions and diet change on May 1."   "Okay."  Bob did his not-thinking-about anything look.  Taylor was always amazed that he could  actually be thinking about absolutely nothing. She was always thinking of at least six things.   "How can they be like that?" "What?"  He startled a little.  Contact with reality was reestablished. "Where does the hate come from?  Mrs. McArthur?  She was always polite, but I think she wasn't really.  Somehow she hated me even though there were no indications whatsoever." "Yeah, well, you know they are starting up that plant.  And my company is going ahead with their work there, down n Milliville.   I will have to go down there sometimes." "Oh, Bob." "Maybe I will stop by and ask her." "No." "No.  Cabaret is closed, I have been told.  Your transgender support group has scattered to other places." "What is wrong with those people?" "Same thing as Roosevelt, I guess.  You know all the racial comments against Blacks?  Like that game where our cheerleaders started this insulting cheer, an the opposite team was mostly Black? Teachers stopped it." "I didn't know.  I was staying away from that, remember?" "Yes." "You know all those kids at our church, the ones you called freaks the other day?" "I shouldn't have called them that." "Pastor tells me they are all from all over the Midwest.  These are kids who have been thrown out of their homes and were found on the street.  Other shelters would not take them, so they wound up here." "Not surprising." "I think we could do some good here." "What do you have in mind?" And she told him.
    • EasyE
      You are spot on here ... but also it seems like such a rigged game for the average person that it's hard to invest energy into the political arena -- too much big money controlling too many people/organizations/narratives for the common person to fee; heard...   In general, why we in America accept either candidate is baffling... for all our innovation as a nation, we can't do better than these two bozos?    The problem is, the political arena is such a sham -- again with large money controlling all aspects of the system -- that a common-sense, love-your-neighbor, make-reasonable-compromises, roll-up-your-sleeves-and-get-to-work candidate will never make it anywhere above the local level (if even there)...    Everything is a reality show, and boring ol' decision makers that try to benefit the most people don't generate enough clicks, views and retweets...  I am not sure it is so much about celebrity as it is about party politics at all costs - "my side must always be viewed as right and your side must always be viewed as wrong!" kind of thinking... there is no consensus building anymore because that will get used against you in campaign ads... When Obama took office and then Hilary ran again, it was like all Republicans want to do was to find someone loud enough to put them in their place. Forget issues, forget character, just win a debate and rally the base.    To get back to your original point, not enough of us care about politics ... and in some ways we've become fat, happy and entitled as a nation. The yearning to achieve the "American dream", which drove my parents and their parents before them to work their tails off and sacrifice and save, is now just "give me the American dream for free while I sit here on my phone and watch tiktok..."
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You are in the right place.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...