Today Was Rather Harrowing

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Today started out like any other day for me out on the road...at a truck stop. I woke up after a 7 hour nap in Denham Springs LA. I was in a funk earlier and not feeling myself so I was in drab for part of the day. When I woke up that night my first thought was "let's do it" so I gathered my shower things and went in and took a shower, came back to my truck and put my makeup on, did my hair, etc.

(editor's note: I normally am living as a woman, yesterday was just an off day so I tried to only make it an off half-day)

So.. hair done, face on, cute outfit..I'm ready to face the world (again). I start out driving and it's a typical boring drive. I cross into Mississippi (heading north on I-55) and pass through Jackson. Shortly after leaving Jackson I feel a weird jolt come from behind. I look in my right mirror and sure enough see parts of a tire go flying. Cra......golly..I just blew a tire. Put on my flashers, pull off onto the shoulder. Call breakdowns. Goodyear will be out there in about an hour. Okay. Set out my 3 emergency triangles (which is required within 10 minutes of pulling over) and go back in the truck and wait.

Now like any good woman concerned about looking her best I thought "well, someone will be coming by, may as well make sure I look my best." So I freshen up my makeup. I'm just about to do my lipstick (I seriously just did one half of my top lip) when I hear a knock on my door. "What in the..?" I look and it's some guy in a dirty yucky t-shirt. I roll the window down (yeah yeah, criticize me for this since it's 12:30am. lol).

"You broke down, little miss?"

"Yes I am."

"What's wrong?"

"Blew a trailer tire."

He tries to call my company since he owns a tire shop as well but they already said Goodyear's on the way, no thanks. So shortly before he leaves he comes back up to me and said, "they said she can just wait in her truck for goodyear. sorry! I tried to help."

"Thank you anyway!"

Okay so back to waiting. Since I messed up 2 nails earlier I decided to redo them. I just finish redoing my 2 nails when I see a truck pull up behind me. "Great, they're here. Now what?" I just did my nails so I didn't want to mess them up, on the other hand I didn't want to just sit in my truck and be rude..I should go out and at least say hi to the guy. So I climb out, make small talk to the guy replacing my tire. Tell him about the other guy who tried to steal his business. I sign the invoice (using my male name. actually just first initial and last name to be more ambiguous). I collect my 3 triangles get back in the truck and go.

3am I pull into a truck stop in Mississippi. The fuel lane is packed. Odd for 3am in nowheresville. Regardless I'm starving, so I pull into a fuel lane, check myself to make sure my face looks okay, swipe on a fresh coat of lipcolor and go inside to use the bathroom and get some Taco Bell. A few minutes later I re-emerge, get back in the truck and go.

3 hours later I'm in Tennessee and looking to arrive 2 hours early for my appointment. I feel my face and I can feel beard stubble so then comes the decision. Switch to boy mode or reapply makeup? I pull into a truck stop, close the curtains, grab my bottle of water and a cup and a razor and take a facial cleansing cloth and remove all the makeup where my beard and moustache are. Once that's smooth to my liking I reapply makeup and blend it into what I didn't remove. Go inside to use the bathroom and get something to drink for the rest of the ride.

..at this point it's daylight, well morning, people are in and out of this truck stop. For some odd reason I feel like I'm turning more heads than a cabbage farmer at harvest time.

Get going to my delivery, check in, back in, bring paperwork in...just in time to see everyone going on break. As I wait 20 minutes for them to come back I make small talk with another driver waiting. Everyone comes back, I hand them my paperwork, go back to the truck and wait. They get me unloaded and I leave and head to another truck stop to turn in my paperwork and get lunch. Again, and I thank my best friend for making me neurotic about this, check my face and apply some lip color. Go in, use the bathroom and get lunch.

Get back in the truck and get going and finally drive so much that I'm really tired so I pull off into a truck stop in Missouri where I am now.

I think for every truck stop I stopped at I got called ma'am at least once by someone. Then there was the guy who called me 'little miss'. What really got me was the last 2-3 hours my hair was frizzy, my makeup felt like it was caked on.. I almost felt like Tammy Faye Baker but I kept getting called ma'am.

This lead me to come up with 2 catchy snippets about transitioning:

1. Remember your 3 P's: pBeauty (the p is silent), Poise, Politeness

2. if you look like a girl, dress like a girl, act like a girl and talk like a girl (easier than people make it out to be) - you'll be treated like a girl.

I had several voice interactions with people today and I'm almost positive noone thought anything other than "that's a tall woman". I lost count the number of times I had to use the bathroom and while there were women present in many of them, noone thought anything different of me.

To quickly touch on those 3 P's

a. pBeauty (again, the p is silent) - my best friend told me to always make sure you look your best when in a public setting. Before you get out of your vehicle do a quick check of your makeup to make sure you look okay. A majority of women do this so it's nothing unusual, and put on a fresh coat of lip color. again, many women do this and it's a subconscious way to at least look better than someone you may come in contact with. (and of course it's also a way to appear more attractive to the gender of which you are attracted to)

b. Poise - you're a woman. you're dainty. you're delicate. you're fragile. your walk isn't a heavy lumbering stomp, it's lighter and softer and if you walk with one foot almost directly in front of the other you get a little hip swing action. you're a lady, act like it, but don't go overboard because it will look like you're trying to hard. just let your femininity happen.

c. Politeness - women are sometimes too polite. you're always smiling even if you just happen to look over at the same time someone is looking your direction. if you two suddenly meet eyes (even accidentally) - smile. if you're about to speak to someone (like a cashier or whatever) - smile. If a guy holds a door open for you - smile and say thank you. if someone gives you something - smile and say thank you. if you almost accidentally bump into someone - do a kind of nervous "boy that could have been awkward" smile and say 'excuse me'. Remember to say 'please' and remember to say 'thank you'. Be polite to everyone. Noone likes an ungrateful lady. if a guy holds a door open for you and you say 'thank you', he appreciates the chivalrous acknowledgement. If you don't say anything, like you expected him to open it for you all he's thinking is "geez, what an ungrateful (rhymes with witch)" Don't be that woman!

oh and one last little nugget I just thought of. If you notice a guy looking at you, he's probably thinking something dirty. There's nothing you can do about that since women are sexualized thanks to the media. You're looked at as a sex object. Just accept that's how it is and there's nothing you can do to change it. Just don't let it bother you since it will happen. Guys may make sexual innuendos or comments where it's implied that they really like the way you look. (like when you say "have a good day" to someone and they reply "I will now.") Just ignore it since it's going to happen and you can't control what other people are going to think or say.

and to end this rather lengthy thread on a really good positive note: OWN YOUR ROLE!

You've got your makeup on, you're clothes look good, your hair is great, your voice is decent (it will always be a work in progress..).. don't be surprised if people treat you and consider you a woman...YOU ARE A WOMAN! (and this is where you think to yourself, "she's right, I am a woman. and this is how women act, look and behave and I'm no different than any other woman out there!")

[Guest Ashlee]

Lizzy,

I just love reading your posts. They are always so upbeat and surely in this case, chock full of good, down to earth, heartfelt infromation.

Its so great how you project yourself and soooo great how you are being treated.

You go girl!

Ashlee

[Guest Paula :)]

Fantastic post honey.

You are so brave being a truck driver ... I don't think I could ever do that! I went down to the local shops yesterday to pick up some groceries for dinner ... gormet pizzas (i usually do a tandoori chicken, a meet lovers (with BBQ meat testicles), and my specialty is a greek lamb pizza topped with tzaziki. Sorry, I digressed!

Anyway, yesterday I was especially happy and almost felt like I had a little skip in my step. I bought some art supplies (I'm doing a painting of Rick Springfield for my partner Kim ... I don't usually paint boys ... but just for her ...) and the sales assitant there was so helpful and happy.

As you can see from my previous posts, I've not usually had much confidence when out in the world. But yesterday, I did, and nothing was going to break my giggly mood.

Everywhere I went, people we smiling at me, polite to me, and I felt so much more confident, because I was happy and polite and people returned the sentiment.

Thank you for this post honey, it's so lovely to read a day in your life with some pointers along the way!

Paula x

[Guest Ashlee]

Fantastic post honey.

You are so brave being a truck driver ... I don't think I could ever do that! I went down to the local shops yesterday to pick up some groceries for dinner ... gormet pizzas (i usually do a tandoori chicken, a meet lovers (with BBQ meat testicles), and my specialty is a greek lamb pizza topped with tzaziki. Sorry, I digressed!

Paula x

OMG!!

There's that filter doing its thing again! This time, your pizza. Oh my, that makes for an, um... interesting pizza...

LOL!

Ashlee

[Guest nymphblossom]

Thank you, Lizzie, I love to read your posts! Whenever I get to thinking I'm crazy, I can never do this, you give me the encouragement I need to know I can.

Hugs

Blossom

[Carolyn Marie]

..at this point it's daylight, well morning, people are in and out of this truck stop. For some odd reason I feel like I'm turning more heads than a cabbage farmer at harvest time.

Lizzie, you crack me up, girl! I would love to down a couple of brews with you some day. I bet we could

have ourselves a conversation and a half. LoL

Great post, hon. Super helpful. Keep on truckin, and postin', and I'll keep on read'n.

Carolyn Marie

[Sally]

I love to hear your stories Lizzie, but for me it is a very personal victory each time you are ma'am ed - you are a full inch taller than I am!

From one Statuesque Beauty to another!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Joe Cool]

From one Statuesque Beauty to another!

Sally that is pBeauty - the p is silent!

I am glad you are ok from your blow out I try to never go anywhere without my face

Drive safely and reapply!

Joe

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Sally that is pBeauty - the p is silent!

LOL. In the wee hours of the morning while I was thinking about those 3 items I was racking my brain. politeness. poise. beauty...what's a p word for beauty? oh heck I'll just say the p is silent and put it at the beginning.

Thank you, Lizzie, I love to read your posts! Whenever I get to thinking I'm crazy, I can never do this, you give me the encouragement I need to know I can.

I'm really happy to read that my posts (long winded as they are) can be inspiring.

I will admit though, I think eventually I'm going to run out of things to say! (as shocking as that sounds. Liz at a loss for words?!)

The only thing I haven't deal with is going to a shipper/receiver that asks to see my ID (a few places do that. not many but they are out there). This is why I decided I need to hurry up with my name change. I do have a letter from my therapist just in case of any problems but I've never had to use it.

Oh! I thought about this but I guess I totally forgot to include it earlier:

every time I've been in the ladies room, noone has ever checked to look at the position of people's feet in the stalls. I remember reading years ago how a few ladies were all worried about having correct foot position while using the bathroom and ladies sit on the can like this..and men sit like this... it's all irrevelent. I don't think many women sit with a very wide leg stance on the toilet but I know those that are on their period need a little wider stance if they're putting on a new pad or hovering over the toilet seat. But...for the vast majority, noone really notices or cares. It's a big relief to read all these stories about foot position or peeing like a woman or how to use the ladies room and then when you go in there and do it after awhile you think "I got all worried about nothing."

[Guest Eth]

Sounds like a pretty fun time, nice!!!

pBeautiful post... XD

愛 Eth

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Denham Springs LA?

Call me next time you turn north up 55 from 12 - that's two miles from me!

And you are a HOOT girl! I am soo proud of your ATTITUDE. Like I always say - you are a real pbeauty! (the p is silent)

LizzyAnne (like you! Dee Jay tole me we even spell Anne the same way!)

[Guest Paula :)]

OMG!!

There's that filter doing its thing again! This time, your pizza. Oh my, that makes for an, um... interesting pizza...

LOL!

Ashlee

OMG. How embarrasment!

P x

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

I loved how today I had several guys holding the door open for me and this nice cashier lady here in Texarkana who ended every question or sentance to me with 'honey' or 'darlin'. This past week due to delivery schedules I had been driving mostly at night so today was a nice change being out during the day time, the bright (HOT!) sun and with a chance to interact with a lot more people.

The different things I've done today, or places I went to today...just a few months ago..would have given me some anxiety attacks and I would have chickened out.

Like let's see..went into McDonald's for breakfast.

Stopped at a Chester's for dinner

Stopped here in Texarkana and walked through the Driver's Lounge area (which was full of men watching TV and people coming and going) to get to the less-used women's bathroom (and I found out why..no A/C! omg it's not fun to sweat while using the toilet)

I talked with a few people today in passing. If they read me they sure didn't lead on that they did, or they just thought I was a really tall women who should be in the WNBA.....and most likely it was that and I need to tell my therapist that I'm full-time, apparently stealth, and getting back on HRT would be the icing on the full-time cake I have in front of me.

...and I'll be waiting to see when my name change documents show up. Changing my name and getting laser done will make this A LOT easier.

[Guest Carrie Tease]

Hi Lizzy:

What an interesting story! I'm fascinated with the truck driving world. Such a variety of people. I do a lot of driving for work and have a CB (just a little radio) in my car. I usually wear skirts and sometimes get honks. I've talked with a lot of honking drivers and even though they run the gammit from being downright awful to awfully polite, one thing they almost always do is try to help another driver out of a breakdown, especially if she's a lady driver. I love your stories....I'll be paying attention!

Carrie

[Guest AshleyRF]

OMG!!!! You were in Jackson, MS and didn't come by to see me? How dare you woman!!!! Next time you are coming through here you better let me know and you better slow down to at least wave at me as you drive by.

Hugs

Ash

[Guest Elizabeth K]

OMG!!!! You were in Jackson, MS and didn't come by to see me? How dare you woman!!!! Next time you are coming through here you better let me know and you better slow down to at least wave at me as you drive by.

Hugs

Ash

Ashley - PM me on where in Jackson! I am in Hammond - I will come spend some time with ya!

And "Little Missy" - when in my area! Even at 3:00AM - if you are headed easT on I12 - if you stop at the Petro - Iron Skillet - call me - I will buy the pretty lady a breakfast! I live about three miles away.

This post was in JUNE - it is such a GREAT POST!

Oh my - are you still trucking? I forgot...

Lizzy

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Awwww. *sniff*. It's so neat to look back at things I wrote 6 months ago and think "those were the good ol' days."

Sadly I'm not trucking right now. Actually I'm not doing anything right now since I've been out of work since November.

But I digress, remember your 3 P's girls!

[Guest Donna Jean]

Oh my God!

Lizzie.....

When the post came up I thought it was now..and I said.."Oh thank goodness, Lizzie is working again!"....

But, it was all wonderful to read again....

BIGG HUGGS!

Donna Jean