Newfound urgency?

[KayriLynne]

Last weekend i came out to my ex-wife. She’s still the person I feel most comfortable talking to about life decisions and such, even after our divorce. She was quite welcoming and it went really well. 
 

However, now that I’ve been open about it to someone other than myself and my therapist, I’m feeling a new urgency to start transitioning. I’m still not in a job that makes it a good idea, but I’m suddenly feeling like I want to do it anyway. 
 

Has anybody else had this experience?

 

-Kayri (maybe)

[Susan R]

5 hours ago, KayriLynne said:

I’m feeling a new urgency to start transitioning. I’m still not in a job that makes it a good idea, but I’m suddenly feeling like I want to do it anyway. 
 

Has anybody else had this experience?

Hi @KayriLynne, I can tell you that when I first came out to my wife in Dec. 2018, it was a relief. I knew I needed to take it slow in the beginning and my wife agreed. She and I went as far as discussing a 2 year timeline in which I would complete the whole coming out process. At the time, that length timeline seemed very realistic to us both…lol

 

A month passed, I was presenting much more androgynous in public and more feminine at home. The need to come out to our neighbors became obvious but our timeline of two years still seemed realistic. Then something changed very quickly after coming out to our next door neighbor. It had been an overwhelming success very much like your coming out experience. That same day, I continued to visit a half dozen additional neighbors and gave them the skinny on what I was about to do. That week was a busy one with several disclosures daily and suddenly my coming out timeline was reduced down to about six months. One thing led to another and by May 2019, I was out to the world at large. Less than a month later, I legally changed my name and legal docs/ID’s so I could start a new job with my new authentic self. So yes, I can say I had a similar experience.

 

Allowing someone to see our true selves and then having them accept us as such is such powerful event. It overwhelms many of us with an intense desire to continue to move closer to living authentically no matter what.

 

Best of luck to you in each of your upcoming revelations.

Susan R🌷

[KathyLauren]

Hi, Kayri.

 

It took me 62 years to come out to my wife.  But when I did, I couldn't move fast enough.  I do understand the urgency.

 

I was retired, so I didn't have workplace concerns as such.  But we live in a rural community full of farmers, fishermen and hillbillies.  I was a member of the volunteer fire department, so I did have some work-like concerns.  Rural fire departments tend to be a bit rednecky.  But nothing was going to stop me.

 

The day before I came out publicly to the community association, I called up the fire chief and gave him a heads-up about what was coming.  I thought it would be disrespectful to let him hear it by rumour before the next department meeting.  I knew that legislation prohibited volunteer fire departments from discriminating against trans people, so I put him on the spot and asked if he would have my back.  He said yes.  At the next fire department meeting, I stood up and announced my transition.  I got a few surprised looks, but all was good.

 

I hope it goes as smoothly for you.

 

Regards,

Kathy

[Charlize]

I felt like i would be shunned by the small town where i have lived and worked most of my life.  Instead i have found only support and acceptance.  Perhaps it was easier for others to accept me than it ever was for me to accept myself.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize