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All Of A Sudden I'm Uncertain about my gender again


AtlasEz

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I felt as though maybe I knew what was going on with me it seemed so gosh darn obvious that I was genderfluid because my presentation changed so that must have meant my gender was changing right? Now I'm not sure so sure I feel confused again. I think I might be a trans man  thats slightly femminine or androgynous sometimes as that's what seem to fit most succinctly. However I have been almost hesitant to call myself that as almost every trans guy I've ever heard of wants to be on T or have surgeries (no shade to those who do you guys are awesome),but for me it feels like to put it simply my body as weird as it may seem is a mans body without that despite being what some folks would probably traditionally see as woman. I guess my question is am I still valid even though I don't want to be on T or have surgeries?

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To most of us here, "valid" is never a term we would use.  If you aren't completely comfortable identifying as the gender listed on your birth certificate, to whatever degree that discomfort might feel like, then we would consider you transgender.  But if you don't like that term, don't identify with it, or have another way of describing yourself, then using that/those term(s) are your choice.

 

Someone close to me has gotten no surgeries, no hormones, no blockers, no facial hair removal, none of it.  Yet, she has socially transitioned and considers herself a full time cross-dresser.  She is what she chooses to be, and how she chooses to be.  I don't judge.

 

Carolyn Marie

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1 hour ago, AtlasEz said:

it seemed so gosh darn obvious that I was genderfluid because my presentation changed so that must have meant my gender was changing right? Now I'm not sure so sure I feel confused again

 

It's extremely common to ask "just what is my gender identity?" and to try different labels -- but find that they don't seem quite right.  You may get past this sort of questioning, but it's not essential.

 

One of the best pieces of advice I received on this forum is to focus less on labels, and more on what it is that makes one happier.  I'm actually not surprised that none of my queer friends (who cover most of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum) are exactly like me -- I'm happy as the unique person that I am. Whether I'm "trans non-binary" or "transfeminine" or any number of other similar labels isn't really all that important. 

 

I'm content to be the me that I am now.  The stress of trying to be someone I'm not  -- that is, my old self that conformed to societal expectations -- is gone.  But the journey continues, and I'm excited about what lies ahead.

 

Best wishes on your journey,

 

Astrid

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