Help! How do i pick a new name?

[Ervin]

Hello!

So long story short, I've never really felt like a girl growing up (asigned female at birth) but every time that I've thought about that gnawing feeling I've come to the conclusion that I don't feel like a boy either. It wasn't until a year ago that I realised that I might be non-binary. I thought about it for some time and then just let it go, but that feeling that something is wrong came back to me just recently and now my gut feelings are really telling me that I am non-binary (however I am having a hard time believing them.) In other words: I am still trying to figure things out and coming to terms with what I think I already know. 

 

The issue that I am struggling with right now is the fact that I feel like I don't have a name. The name my parents gave me has never suited me, but I've always assumed that maybe everybody feels this way more or less? But I think I really want to pick a new name for myself, and I've been thinking about Ervin. I am from Sweden and I'd say that the name Ervin here could be considered quite genderless. And I like it. Yet, still it feels so odd, to think that people would call me something other than my birthname, even though I never want to spell that name out again or tell people that it's my name when I meet them for the first time.

 

My question about all of this is basically how it felt for you (if) when you tried to pick a new name? Did the name that you finally decided to go with feel strange in the beginning? And if so, how did you know that it was the name for you?

 

<33

[Jackie C.]

Oh dear. The pallate of enby names is ... limitless. I know an NB named Asteroid for instance. Name yourself after whatever tickles your fancy.

 

Now, in my case, I settled on a name on my second try. First try, I named myself after a video game character I admire. It was close, but didn't quite fit. You might have to go through a couple of names before you find something that works for you. Try them on, see how you feel about them.

 

A good method I've heard is: Go to Starbucks. Give them the name you're trying on. See how it feels when they call you.

 

I guess the thing to remember is that you don't have to decide right away. There's no time limit. Play a little and find something that you love.

 

Hugs!

[Marcie Jensen]

In my case, I went with what I was taught when I went through training to be a case officer in the intelligence community and was developing my legend. The rule of thumb was to choose a name you liked that had the same initials your birth name had. There were reasons for that which stemmed from trade craft, such as not having the need for multiple sets of things like monogrammed shirts, towels, etc, it being easier to remember and so on.

 

Being trans or NB makes it a little less rigid. I agree with @Jackie C. that you should go with whatever tickles your fancy. I would suggest you say it aloud so you avoid what my brother did with his eldest daughter. His wife liked "Polly" and he liked "Esther." Po, the name they settled on was "Poly Esther." (You can't make stuff like this up.) She changed her name to Ingrid when she turned 18 for obvious reasons... 

[KathyLauren]

53 minutes ago, Marcie Jensen said:

The rule of thumb was to choose a name you liked that had the same initials your birth name had.

 

That is pretty much what I did (although in my case it had nothing to do with espionage 😆).

 

I never really had any feelings about my birth name.  I didn't hate it; I didn't adore it.  It was just a name.  But it was definitely a masculine name, and it was going to be inappropriate for me as a woman.

 

I wanted something that was unambiguously feminine.  I wanted to keep the same initials.  And this is a silly requirement, but I wanted to keep my signature similar to my old one.  Not totally silly, though.  I didn't want my writing style to be different between my first name and last name.  I would be unable to write a totally new first name fluently, whereas my surname is something I have written a gazillion times.

 

I picked a first name that sounds a bit like my old name and is written quite similarly.  My middle name, which I have never used in a signature, is just a feminine version of my old middle name.

 

I don't really have strong feelings about my new name, any more than I did about my old name.  It is mine.  I recognize it when someone calls me by it.  I like it, because it represents me.  Ultimately, it is just a name.

[Delcina B]

Hi Ervin! When I came to the naming stage of "me" it seemed pretty amazing I get to chose this label, not anyone else, it could be whatever I felt comfortable with. Somewhere I read as previously mentioned, pick one with some resemblance of my given name. I wanted one that captured my desired persona, the one I'd hidden for so long. I was angry, filled with self hate, I didn't & don't want to be that person anymore. I looked through baby name websites & found Delcina, it means sweet & is close to Dell, my given nickname. It was perfect & I love how it sounds & feels. Happy name hunting!

 

Hugs!

Delcina 

[miz miranda]

Hi Ervin,

 

I made a list of about 10 names I liked and tried them on like a new outfit. I said them aloud watching myself in the mirror. When I said I am Miranda, I had a beaming smile and it felt natural. It still does.

 

Choosing a name your name is not a commitment you can choose another one if the first one doesn't suit you.

 

You will find a name that is you, enjoy the experience!

 

 

 

[Ivy]

Welcome Ervin. 

 

For a few years I used a name that had kinda been accidentally given me.  It was okay for then, but there was some baggage I didn't need.   Ivy came to me (I already had some tattooed on me) and I started using it among friends and some family.  I like it and that is what I'm in the process of making legal now.  I am also changing the spelling of my last name to more reflect its origin. (Swedish incidentally)

[Ervin]

Thank you for all your support! Truly means a lot! Hugs!!

[Mmindy]

Good evening Ervin,

 

My name was given to me by coincident, and playing online games. I always picked a female avatar in the games I played, and my simple way of picking a screen name was my initials and my general location. Mm from Indy, and when you push them together, it's MmIndy. I played with that screen name for years, and couldn't figure out why I was always getting hit on by guys. I was an old person playing a game, and didn't make the connection because every time I looked at my screen name I saw M*^* Moore from Indy. Then a young firefighter on my crew pointed out the obvious. By the way that firefighter is also the only person to figure out that I am transgender with an alt ID outside of my professional contacts. As mentioned in other posts, give Ervin a try, and if you don't care for the results. Try another name. Most of all remember it's you choice. 

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and motivated,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋