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I need help.


FlyAwayFinch

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Hi!

 

So recently I've been questioning my gender identity, and so for the past few months I've identified as Non-Binary. However, in the past few weeks, I have had some quite bad social dysphoria, and the idea of being and looking male feels so much better. I don't hate my body, I'm okay with what I was given. I only feel a bit of top dysphoria, but even then that can get quite bad. I feel a little bit of dysphoria in my voice and behaviours, but in trying to fix that. At first I do think I could possibly be trans, and then the anxiety comes. I have a few transmasc friends and some part of me feels like I'm copying them, or doing this for attention. The idea of coming out makes me so scared, because what if, in a few years, i decide that maybe I'm not? However I think about being a guy in my future, and it feels so much better. It feels right. But there's still some fear surrounding it all. 

 

Can anyone help?

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi, @FlyAwayFinch.  Welcome!

 

3 hours ago, FlyAwayFinch said:

some part of me feels like I'm ... doing this for attention. The idea of coming out makes me so scared

 

If the thought of coming out makes you scared, that doesn't sound to me like you are wanting attention.

 

Having doubts about your future is normal.  What if you do change your mind?  How changeable is your mind normally?  If you frequently find yourself changing your mind about things, then an extra bit of caution is warranted.  If you tend to make decisions confidently, then it is less likely that you will change your mind later.

 

This is the sort of thing that gender therapists are for.  They can help you get clarity about your way forward.

 

I see from your profile that you are in the UK.  I know that, unfortunately, waiting lists are insane there.  If you can afford to see a therapist privately, it might be well worth doing so.  Otherwise, get your name on a waiting list now, the sooner the better.

 

Do stick around and join in the conversations or ask questions here.  It is a very supportive group.

 

Regards,

Kathy

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  • Forum Moderator

@FlyAwayFinch Hello and welcome!  Kathy is spot on with her comment.  Doubting oneself is natural.  Change is inevitable.  You are still quite young and there will be plenty of both in your life.  Do the best you can and be adaptable.

 

Cheers, Jani

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3 hours ago, KathyLauren said:

Hi, @FlyAwayFinch.  Welcome!

 

 

If the thought of coming out makes you scared, that doesn't sound to me like you are wanting attention.

 

Having doubts about your future is normal.  What if you do change your mind?  How changeable is your mind normally?  If you frequently find yourself changing your mind about things, then an extra bit of caution is warranted.  If you tend to make decisions confidently, then it is less likely that you will change your mind later.

 

This is the sort of thing that gender therapists are for.  They can help you get clarity about your way forward.

 

I see from your profile that you are in the UK.  I know that, unfortunately, waiting lists are insane there.  If you can afford to see a therapist privately, it might be well worth doing so.  Otherwise, get your name on a waiting list now, the sooner the better.

 

Do stick around and join in the conversations or ask questions here.  It is a very supportive group.

 

Regards,

Kathy

Thank you so much for the help. I really appreciate it! With limited help available, I'm really grateful for what this community can give me! I'm going to look in to gender therapy, and even with long waiting lists, I don't mind the wait if it means I can work everything out. 

 

Thank you,

Finch

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  • Admin

Welcome to Trans Pulse, @FlyAwayFinch.  What my friends have said is very true; your feelings, including confusion, are quite natural.  Please have a look through the FtM and the other transition-related forums.  We have quite a few members from the U.K., and what they've said about navigating the NHS can be quite useful to you.  Also, in the upper right corner of the page is a search feature.  You can type in NHS and hopefully come up with a shortcut to useful posts.  Best of luck to you.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

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3 hours ago, Carolyn Marie said:

Welcome to Trans Pulse, @FlyAwayFinch.  What my friends have said is very true; your feelings, including confusion, are quite natural.  Please have a look through the FtM and the other transition-related forums.  We have quite a few members from the U.K., and what they've said about navigating the NHS can be quite useful to you.  Also, in the upper right corner of the page is a search feature.  You can type in NHS and hopefully come up with a shortcut to useful posts.  Best of luck to you.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

Thank you so much!!! I will definitely look into the NHS thing! I'm so glad to have such great support through such a confusing time

 

 

Hugs :)

Finch 

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