Changing your gender socially

[GabrielVox]

I'm not sure this exactly fits into the coming out section, but it's sinilar enough...

 

I'm not sure about my own gender. I've been labeling myself as genderfluid for a few years already, but never really told anyone outrightly, even though I suspect my family already knows about this, as I haven't been exactly secretive with my preferences most days.

 

However, I was born female, and have always been labeled as female all my life. I remember having a period during adolescence when I was seriously considering transitioning to male, but never got the courage, the guts to talk about it and go through with it, mostly because I still see myself as female half the time.

 

Recently, I've been speaking online with other people, and they only know me as male, and I discovered I absolutely loved it. I always feel extremely happy and relieved whenever they adress me as a male.

 

I was wondering, then, how to you start to change your gender socially? I'm positive I don't want to go through hormone therapy, but I'd like to start being able to go out as a male, that my coworkers, friends and family start seeing me as a male, so that I can feel like myself when I feel like a man. 

 

Just, I don't know where and how to start this process. I already have my name picked out, I just have absolutely no idea how to go through with it...

 

If anyone can point be in the right direction, I would definitely appreciate it, thank you.

[VickySGV]

This is the work of both you and a Gender Therapist to do.  I would go to your Health Care Provider and see if they can channel you into the therapy where you will get mentoring on doing this.  They may also refer you to support groups where you can work on it in detail with others on that path.

[Carolyn Marie]

Changing hair and clothes is a place to start, along with telling people you want to tell, what your preferred pronouns and name are.  You might have an issue with your voice, if it sounds feminine.  Then there is studying male social interactions; men have certain ways of walking, standing, sitting (manspreading 🤣), talking, interacting, etc.  That you probably can learn from just observing, but getting it right is important.  @VickySGVis right regarding legal, emotional and mental issues being covered by a G.T.  Then you should research what your local, Provincial and Canadian government requirements are for document changes, if that is what you desire.

 

Changing gender, whether just in presentation, legally or medically, is no small thing, and you need to really think it through.  It IS complicated, and that's where Vicky's suggestion comes into play.

 

Carolyn Marie

[awkward-yet-sweet]

I was identified as female at birth.  As I figured out that I was different in my late 20's, I started to say I was genderfluid.  Clothes were the easiest thing to change, as I never dressed feminine and I prefer to wear as little as possible.  My hair gradually got shorter over a few years, and now I go with the "fluffy androgynous pixie" look. 

 

Last year I started leaning more in the direction of being a boy.  I ended up discovering that I'm medically intersex.  I told my partners that I probably should have been male instead of female.  My husband stopped referring to me as "wife" and now uses "partner" instead.  Same for my female partners who used feminine terms like "girlfriend."  I haven't changed my name, and I don't plan to.  Maybe the spelling to make it more androgynous, but that's it.  No plans to legally change my gender on my ID's, since it doesn't affect me.  I work from home independently, so I don't have coworkers to deal with. 

 

You can find a counselor if you want, but remember that you control the situation.  If they don't help you, fire them.  I have yet to find a counselor/therapist that is helpful for me, so I mostly just stick with family and friends.  If you have someone already in your life who has a good listening ear, that's a place to start.  Do a few gradual changes of appearance and preferred form of address to see how it feels, and work from there.