The Official Intro Of Jessica_282

[jessica_282]

Attempt #24 at writing an adequate intro.

I would like to take this moment to introduce myself to those people of the forum and those that chat with me

My name is Jessica Hayden (last name not revealed), I am 38 years young, thanks to the saying "your a youngin" MamaShar insists that I am.

My story is very similiar to others so if it is hackneyed I apologize.

I am preop MTF, as if the name didn't give it away. I am a restraunt manager (Primary income), I do IT work on the side for my company, and myself. I grew up on computers, first one being a commodore vic 20, I put computers together and repair them for my family members. That makes me the computer geek of the family. I also do Basic, HTML, well you get the point.

History:

Found out there was something different about me, around the age of 7, when at the same time, I ended up in a small Texas town to end up graduating 12 years later. This town was your usual cowboy, rodeo, ranch, farm town, population 6,500. So you can get the general idea of how hard it was to be different in a town like this.

At around 12 I found out what football really was, (being forced to do football to do track) a barbaric sport that is better watched than being played. Go Dallas Cowboys

I was first introduce to the subject of, or word transsexuals, when I was in high school. The idea that I was transsexual was a question that I asked myself when I found out what it really meant. With alot of soul searching, and great sense of wanting to know more, I went out on a quest to learn what this was and how I or what I could, or should do about it. On my journey I found the information on the net, in the college library, and through chat. Unfortunatly I found all the info, plus more than I needed to know. I found the info on DIY. This was a mistake that most of us make when first trying to solve are dilemas with a fast easy cheap fix. I tried this for almost 3 years. I had done enough research to know what it took to get from one gender to the other. I thought this was enough to follow thru with my plans. Like a nieve child I didn't realize the medical risk I was putting myself in.

With that said and done, then comes the trial of choosing to live in a male world because a decision I made with my best friend, who became my wife. She had good intension of doing the right thing but the natural way of life was pulling at my every whim. Even though I knew down deep that it was wrong, I still went with the idea that the family, house, white picket fence was the thing to fix the idea of being transgendered. Out of the relationship I have two adorbable children, my son 14 now, and my daughter that is 10. Now not only do I have to live with transitioning later, but I have pulled two children into the equation.

My marriage didn't last. I decided (through depression) that I would distance myself from my children, my ex, and the world. I decided that my main focus would be on my job. I did this for 10 years. Last year my children had come of age to understand what and who I am. I came out to them and my ex, except she already knew because of the DIY I did while we were married and before. My children excepted me and that made me cry, so sad for deciding to distance myself from them, it made me relieved to get that off my shoulders.

Now my son lives with me, and the real hard part of my life now begins. But I am ready for the challenge of being a parent again.

Thank you for your time,

Jessica Hayden aka Jessica_282

[Guest pattib]

Welcome Jessica. It's nice to meet you.

I'm pattib, still kinda new.

Hope to hear more from you in the future.

[Guest Leigh]

welcome...

some lovely ladies should be here to give you cookies soon.

nice to join the forums from chat...there needs to be more mixing.

peace&love

leigh

[Sally]

Hello Jessica,

I am here with the unoffical - offical welcome to Laura's - the traditional cup of Donna Jean's hot cocoa and a plate of fresh baked cookies - baked by me.

We are very friendly, non-judgemental and enjoy being here.

This is a sfae site and a place to have fun, make friends, learn and support each other.

Welcome to the family.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Ashlee]

Hello Jessica,

Welcome to the playground!

You have a story that many of us can relate to in some way. I'm so glad that your kids have accepted you! How wonderful. It must be really great to have them back in your life.

Please feel comfortable with us here, we are just one big happy family!

{{HUGS}}

Ashlee

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dearest Jessica,

I welcome you with open arms hon. Your story is so similar to mine. Hon, just be yourself and we will all grow together.

hugs Jess. You are here and you are safe. Jessica, I am so glad that you have decided to join the forums too hon. You will find that the forums are a quieter place than chat. Both chat and the forums have their place. Experiencing both is really good. In the forums, get used to people posting to you over days, not seconds as with chat. With that being said, the forums are the place you can contemplate a topic and post something that you think without the pressure of responding quickly.

Welcome Jessica, you are among friends

Love

Brenda

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hey, Jessica....welcome, Sweetheart!

I'm Donna Jean and I think that you'll enjoy it over here in the forums...

You know, being Transgendered causes turmoil in so many lives ...not including our own..I guess you could liken it to "Collateral Damage"

People become part of our story and it's unfortunate...

But, we're not in this life alone so .....

I don't have to tell you that we don't ask for this anymore than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, but it's here none the less and we must deal with it the best that we can...

Hence, Laura's....

We hold eace other up...

None of us are immune form depression or saddness over our condition .

You are amoung people who understand, Jessica....

Welcome to the forums, Honey!

XXOO

Donna Jean

[jessica_282]

Hello Jessica,

I am here with the unoffical - offical welcome to Laura's - the traditional cup of Donna Jean's hot cocoa and a plate of fresh baked cookies - baked by me.

We are very friendly, non-judgemental and enjoy being here.

This is a sfae site and a place to have fun, make friends, learn and support each other.

Welcome to the family.

Love ya,

Sally

Thank you. I really appreciate the thought. Oh and the cookies can't forget about cookies and the hot cocoa. mmmmm

[jessica_282]

Again thank you all for the warm welcome. As I don't get onto the forums that much, I have decided that balance between the chat room and the forums is the best thing for me at this time. So as getting use to the forums I will be in more often then so.

I will be looking forward to reading and commenting with you all soon, (HUGS)

Jessica Hayden

[Guest Dionne]

Hi Jessica,

Welcome, it is very nice to here your story. Thanks for sharing. Like others here it is very similar to my story also. Our jurney can be long and hard at times, but there are rewards for finding the way. I can't beleive the happyness I have found since I started accepting who I really was. Hope you can find peace and joy in your journey as well.

It is a joy talking to you in the chat rooms.

Again welcome and nice meeting you.

Hugs,

Dionne

[Carolyn Marie]

Hi, Jessica. Just wanted to join my sisters in welcoming you to Laura's. It is an wonderful place filled with

amazing, talented and caring people. It's a great place to hang out among friends.

I too have a family, none of whom know about me. I dread the day when I may have to tell them. I'm glad

to have my friends here to help me through that.

Hope to meet up with you in chat. I don't get in there as often as I would like. The forums allow me to

collect my thoughts before putting them in writing, so I usually prefer this venue.

Again, welcome. Great to meet you.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest 1Char]

hi!

Welcome!!

I'm charlotte and I hope u enjoy lauras

[Paula ult]

Hi Jessica and welcome to the forums, I go both ways , forums in the daytime and chat at night.

You could almost duplicate your story, just change the names and some facts and that could be all our stories.

Depression make us do some crazy things like hurt and push others away, how well i know.

Don't beat yourself up too bad over self medicating, i did it too, i just hope you are seeing a therapist and an endo to monitor the hormones.

Yes you are transitioning later but you are transitioning, just remember that, i somehow managed to make it to 56 before my bell went off and i had to transition

HUGS!

Paula

[Guest Emily Violet]

hi im emily ncie to meet you and welcome

[jessica_282]

Hi Jessica and welcome to the forums, I go both ways , forums in the daytime and chat at night.

You could almost duplicate your story, just change the names and some facts and that could be all our stories.

Depression make us do some crazy things like hurt and push others away, how well i know.

Don't beat yourself up too bad over self medicating, i did it too, i just hope you are seeing a therapist and an endo to monitor the hormones.

Yes you are transitioning later but you are transitioning, just remember that, i somehow managed to make it to 56 before my bell went off and i had to transition

HUGS!

Paula

Yes I am going to an endo for hormones and I see a therapist (not a gender therapist) but a therapist that is learning as I teach (really there for support). The endo is very educated and experienced with dealing with transgendered people like us. I found her through the TS support group that I go to (found out that Alyea use to go to the group), what a small world sometimes.

Thanks,

Jessica Hayden

[Guest Jessica22450]

Hello, I've noticed you in chat and have seen you wandering around. I too( although i'm only a kid) am the computer geek of the family.