Anxiety over what what to write as a closure to a Mothers day or Fathers day card.

[Moira Arista]

With Mothers day literally four days away, I'm struggling with what to write as my closure to my mothers day card. When I was little it was Love your S word and dead name. Then I transitioned from that to Love your Baby. This year is different. I have absolutely no idea what to write in my mothers day card. Part of me wants to write Love your loving Daughter Moira Arista, but I don't think my mother is prepared to except that. Then I thought of my father as well. Fathers day will be here before we know it. My father doesn't know I'm his daughter and not his son. I've told my mother, but never talked about it with my father. Please reach out my sisters with your thoughts and advice. 

[VickySGV]

You are still their <birth order> loving child.  That will always fit regardless of gender.  The signature can be just a scrawl, it is in telling them you still recognize them as parents that suits the day.

[Susan R]

4 hours ago, Moira Arista said:

My father doesn't know I'm his daughter and not his son.

@Moira Arista If you’re not ready to come out to your Father then Vicky’s suggestion to leave gender out of your card’s closure makes sense.. Anything revealing your gender is going to bring that topic to the forefront. If that’s not your intention, you might add “hugs and kisses” below the “From your loving child”. The only issue you might have with the vagueness is you Father knowing which loving child the card is from. If you have several siblings, this becomes an issue unless you use the ‘birth order’ Vicky mentioned above. Keep in mind that the inclusion of the ‘birth order’ might raise questions with Dad if he has any inkling of the idea you’re in transition. In my brief history on this planet, I’ve found that parents seem know more than they let on.

[Moira Arista]

2 hours ago, Susan R said:

@Moira Arista If you’re not ready to come out to your Father then Vicky’s suggestion to leave gender out of your card’s closure makes sense.. Anything revealing your gender is going to bring that topic to the forefront. If that’s not your intention, you might add “hugs and kisses” below the “From your loving child”. The only issue you might have with the vagueness is you Father knowing which loving child the card is from. If you have several siblings, this becomes an issue unless you use the ‘birth order’ Vicky mentioned above. Keep in mind that the inclusion of the ‘birth order’ might raise questions with Dad if he has any inkling of the idea you’re in transition. In my brief history on this planet, I’ve found that parents seem know more than they let on.

 

[Charlize]

My parents were dead by the time i transitioned.  If i had lived at a distance from them i may well have avoided telling them as it could really have hurt them.  They were of a much different time.  At the same time trusting in their love i might have felt compelled to open up.  That is a decision only you can make.

"Your loving child" cover it regardless.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize