Hi, from someone who’s questioning things

[Astrid]

On 10/15/2023 at 4:58 AM, JaySee88 said:

 

I’ll definitely need to start initiating conversation a little more. In the past she has been very understanding, so I shouldn’t be so worried. 

 

A very key point!   The more you share with her things both big (your thoughts, fears, hopes, etc.) and small (clothing preferences, things you'd like her advice on purchasing), the more comfortable with you she is likely to be.  Best of luck with your journey!

 

Astrid

[JaySee88]

I just wanted to share something, I hope it’s appropriate. Want to share because I feel like I’ve been quiet in my life for a while now, and this moment felt very significant and made me feel very happy.

 

I was talking to my wife about bralettes (she used to work as a bra fitter). She could sense I was interested, asking questions. The next day she bought me a matching set. It was my favourite colour and all. 
 

She is usually a bit reserved when it comes to seeing me trying on clothing. She is more than happy for me to do it. But doesn’t necessarily always want to see it.

 

But this time she wanted to see me try it on and even told me that it looked really good on me. Anyway, it was a really nice feeling. 
 

That’s all I wanted to say haha thanks 🙂

[Owly]

On 6/10/2023 at 4:13 AM, JaySee88 said:

Hey there,

 

I’ve procrastinated over writing this for days now. I’ll try not to write an essay, even though I probably could (I’m sure everyone here could!)

 

AMAB and I guess I’ve identified as a male pretty much all my life. I’d have patches where I really wished I’d been born differently in my teens, I think. I figured that was normal. But I’d say I was always probably a more feminine male. 
 

Over the past 10 years, I’ve suffered pretty badly from anxiety and depression. I have great support from a very loving and understanding wife which has helped with that a lot. But during a panic attack last year, I decided to wear my wife’s pyjamas to bed, with her permission. I found that my anxiety was heavily reduced. I slept properly for the first time in a long time. 
 

From there, things have kinda evolved a bit more. I feel more comfortable in feminine looking clothes, I’m feeling like I don’t really fit in with Male peers (I work in a very male dominated warehouse type job, where the language used behaviours can leave me feeling pretty upset, although I’m good at hiding it), I find myself wishing I had been born differently again, and sometimes even feel slight jealousy toward other women, over things like pregnancy, appearance, etc.

 

Anyway, I’ve been talking to a psychologist who suggested reaching out to others to try and understand my feelings, as I feel very unsure and confused. I’m not sure that I’m transgender, but I don’t feel male either… so yeah, just here trying to understand myself a bit better.

 

Thanks for reading anyway! Hope everyone is doing ok 🙂 
 

 

Hi @JaySee88 ! oh man! you described a very similar experience to mine regarding wishing to be born again as a female and being able to bear babies.

I don't think I'm fully transgender but I know I want to take on some female characteristics and be able to go back and forth between male and female.

I hope you're doing well. 

hugs

[Ashley0616]

Just keep talking with the therapist. There is another possibility that you may be a femboy. A man who loves to wear women's clothing. They have no interest in transitioning. Not saying you are just a possibility. The therapist should be helping more. I don't think they specialize in gender identity. There are plenty of therapist online that specialize in that.

[JaySee88]

10 hours ago, Owly said:

Hi @JaySee88 ! oh man! you described a very similar experience to mine regarding wishing to be born again as a female and being able to bear babies.

I don't think I'm fully transgender but I know I want to take on some female characteristics and be able to go back and forth between male and female.

I hope you're doing well. 

hugs

Thanks Owly, it’s so nice to hear from people with similar experiences and feelings. Up until now, I haven’t really met anyone in life with the same feelings that I’m able to share with and relate to. So thanks and good luck to you with everything 🙂

 

9 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

Just keep talking with the therapist. There is another possibility that you may be a femboy. A man who loves to wear women's clothing. They have no interest in transitioning. Not saying you are just a possibility. The therapist should be helping more. I don't think they specialize in gender identity. There are plenty of therapist online that specialize in that.

Thanks for your reply Ashley, and I definitely agree with you about talking to a gender therapist, online might be the way to go. I felt like I had a good handle on it, but the less I talk about it, the more I think about it. 
 

I know labels aren’t important, and the main thing is to do what makes you happy, but I guess I have a bit of an analytical mind, and not knowing or understanding something kinda me slight anxiety haha. 
 

I think maybe the clothing isn’t such a big part of it for me now. It definitely triggered some feelings. And I still wear them when I can, because I feel ‘right’ in them, and feel like I look right in them, if that makes sense. But I keep getting all these other feelings, remembering times when I was younger lying in bed wishing I had been born female, remembering comments from others about my femininity that were probably meant to insulting but actually excited me etc.

 

But I guess that’s all something I need to analyse with a therapist haha. Thanks for taking the time to reply to me! All the best 🙂