Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

     

    Note, Admirers are not welcomed here.

Beat up couple nights ago in drag...


jriddle1990

Recommended Posts

So I was out in drag the other night and thought I met a cool guy who was into me .. I was wrong we went to his Hampton inn room and we got undressed and when I was fully naked this guy turns on me calls me -awesome person- this and -awesome person- that punches me kicked me in my groin and then made me (do a sexual act) .. for what he called (entrapping him) ... I'd like to think I pull off being female that good but I don't there is no way this guy didn't know I had penis .. I thought about the cops but seems embarrassing... Idk just felt like sharing... Be safe everyone....

Edited by Carolyn Marie
substituted a euphamism for a sexual act. Original words used were not suitable for minors
Link to comment

Wow.  That's a terrible experience.  It is your choice, but I would talk with the police.  In New York, they are probably aware of trans issues and able to deal with it.  You are a victim of a hate crime...there is no other way to describe it. Since your profile indicates your city of residence, here is the website of their police department:

 

 https://www.binghamton-ny.gov/government/departments/police-department

 

I would encourage you to contact their detective division number (right side of the page.)  Tell them what happened and ask to meet with a supervisor.  The sooner you do this and the higher-ranking the person you talk with, the more likely they are to get the evidence they need to prosecute your attacker.  If you need somebody to help you, they likely have non-sworn personnel of whichever gender you prefer to assist you in feeling comfortable enough to provide a statement.  

 

@Carolyn Marie can probably give you some police advice, as I believe she's a current or former officer. 

Link to comment
On 5/25/2023 at 8:38 AM, Charlize said:

I am fortunate to have never been abused but do vividly remember a close call.  I cannot say that had anything to do with my decision to have an orchiectomy.  I'm sorry you had to suffer those experiences.  Hopefully it is something you can discuss with a therapist.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

44 minutes ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

Wow.  That's a terrible experience.  It is your choice, but I would talk with the police.  In New York, they are probably aware of trans issues and able to deal with it.  You are a victim of a hate crime...there is no other way to describe it. Since your profile indicates your city of residence, here is the website of their police department:

 

 https://www.binghamton-ny.gov/government/departments/police-department

 

I would encourage you to contact their detective division number (right side of the page.)  Tell them what happened and ask to meet with a supervisor.  The sooner you do this and the higher-ranking the person you talk with, the more likely they are to get the evidence they need to prosecute your attacker.  If you need somebody to help you, they likely have non-sworn personnel of whichever gender you prefer to assist you in feeling comfortable enough to provide a statement.  

 

@Carolyn Marie can probably give you some police advice, as I believe she's a current or former officer. 

 

Link to comment

I feel like it'd just be humiliating I have history with drug abuse and my city is very small the officers would probably know me and idk i wanna just put it behind me... He bruised me a little that's all ... 

52 minutes ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

Wow.  That's a terrible experience.  It is your choice, but I would talk with the police.  In New York, they are probably aware of trans issues and able to deal with it.  You are a victim of a hate crime...there is no other way to describe it. Since your profile indicates your city of residence, here is the website of their police department:

 

 https://www.binghamton-ny.gov/government/departments/police-department

 

I would encourage you to contact their detective division number (right side of the page.)  Tell them what happened and ask to meet with a supervisor.  The sooner you do this and the higher-ranking the person you talk with, the more likely they are to get the evidence they need to prosecute your attacker.  If you need somebody to help you, they likely have non-sworn personnel of whichever gender you prefer to assist you in feeling comfortable enough to provide a statement.  

 

@Carolyn Marie can probably give you some police advice, as I believe she's a current or former officer. 

 

Link to comment

I went through a rape investigation as a 11 year old when my family found out my older brother and cousin were doing things to me it was humiliating as a kid... As an adult I couldn't imagine going thru it

Link to comment
  • Admin

@jriddle1990, I completely understand how you feel about the incident itself and your reluctance to report it.  There is a sexual abuse hotline, separate from any police agency, where you can talk to a counselor and receive support and advice.  Their number is:

1-800-656-4673.  I urge you to call them.  I also echo what @awkward-yet-sweetsaid; it is important to talk to the police, not only for your sake, but for the sake of anyone else who comes into contact with this unspeakable monster.  If he isn't stopped, he will do it to someone else, and possibly kill them.

 

We have crisis counselors here, too.  If you have or can download the Discord app, you can log into our Chat room and talk to a trans person who is trained to counsel and assist you, or just to listen.  You may have PTSD from this attack, and really need to talk with somone.

 

Please take carer of yourself and get the help you need.  I care about you.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment

I doubt he will show his face around gay nights at the bar here in Binghamton I told everyone

 

Link to comment
  • Admin
17 minutes ago, jriddle1990 said:

I doubt he will show his face around gay nights at the bar here in Binghamton I told everyone

 

 

It's possible; but you were likely not his first victim. and very likely won't be the last, especially if he gets away with it.

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment

I won't lie, going through the investigation process wasn't fun.  And testifying in court wasn't fun for me.  I was assaulted (not sexually, just viciously beaten) after a car accident last year.  The guy left me for dead on the side of the highway.  As much as I was intimidated by the police process, I'm glad I did it.  He was sentenced this spring, and won't be released even on parole for at least a decade.  I feel better knowing he isn't out there. 

 

Whether you talk to the police or not, it is always your choice.  But either way, find somebody you can trust to walk you through it.  Whether it is a counselor, a friend who can spend long hours talking, or a leader in your faith community...you need backup and a way to vent your feelings.  For me, that person is my husband (he has a psychology degree, among other things).  Even with a lot of talking, the assault changed my life significantly. 

 

If you need to talk, the resources Carolyn Marie posted are a good starting point.  And if you are comfortable with somebody on this forum, I'm sure that people will be glad to trade PM's.   Please think about it, and know that you aren't alone.

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

damn  thats terrible.  sorry to hear that.  i alwasy like to say "id of" but you never know until in the moment.  its one reason i hesitate on estrogen.  i do and dont wanna keep muscle mass.  i lost a lot already but wanna keep some.  i was talking to a guy onlne and had plans to meet the next day after chatting a fe day or week or so.  first thing dude says was, " so youre a sissy fa@@0t?  Gonna suck my -penis- and bend over like a good littlle cumslut?"  my voice got deeper and went back into a different mindset without thought and said, 'yousay some -crap- like to me again and ill make sure i show up and one of us is getting KTFO and pretty sure it wont be me.  i have no love for bullies."  he hung up and i realized i ssnapped and wasnt very lady like.  about a month later i was out ll weekend dressed fr first time at a party and thing weregetting risky at teh hotel.  one guy was really grabbing  and forcefully moving another cd's head like an object.  i knw people have their kinks but i may dress and be submissive in ways but i do throw hands.  he looked at me and started to say something about my commennt towards something and i already was on my feet being aggressive.  right before that i was with a bunch of other bi friends some dress some not some cis some trans and i was kissing this guy but wasnt too into it so slowed down and he kept pulling my head and trying to force me.  i ws stoned him drunk.  i firmly but gentle as could be put him down and sai,, "dude, im not the one.  i promise you that."  the whole room turned and i just got my -crap- and ubered out.  i hate my aggressiveness and it has gotten me in bad situations including a stabbed through the hand but its the only way i know.  its why i stay in and keep to myself mostly.  people think theyre entitled to something i or someone isnt ready to give and i cant react normally.  quitting alcohol has helped but im not even a year in so i get anxiety from that also

Link to comment

I wish I was that tough... I've always been a weakling male... I just don't know how to fight .. ...

Link to comment
  • 8 months later...
On 7/12/2023 at 8:21 AM, jriddle1990 said:

I wish I was that tough... I've always been a weakling male... I just don't know how to fight .. ...

You might consider learning martial arts, which will help you in the strength department, flexibility, confidence and of course self-defense skills.  You don't have to develop massive muscles, either.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Here are some safety tips whenever going out:

1. Make sure your cellphone is fully charged, and don't forget to bring the charger with you.

2. Tell a trusted friend or family member who is accepting about where you're going to be (if you're traveling alone).

3. Bring along a trusted friend or someone else that is in the community, go together, and afterwards leave the place together.

4. Be aware of your surroundings.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 216 Guests (See full list)

    • jamessolomon
    • Sally Stone
    • derkgof
    • KathyLauren
    • Betty K
    • Lindsey_D
    • MaryEllen
    • Dani LeFae
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      81.7k
    • Total Posts
      780.1k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      8,712
    • Most Online
      8,356

    DanielleRegina
    Newest Member
    DanielleRegina
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amanda Altschuler
      Amanda Altschuler
      (57 years old)
    2. BrandenLeon
      BrandenLeon
      (29 years old)
    3. cassiopeia
      cassiopeia
      (43 years old)
    4. Correy_Shea
      Correy_Shea
      (28 years old)
    5. KathrineMT
      KathrineMT
      (69 years old)
  • Posts

    • Sally Stone
      Hi Dani,   Welcome to the TransPulse forums. Thanks for sharing a little about yourself.  I think you'll find great friendship and support here.   
    • Dani LeFae
      I am a 52 year old bearded newly gender fluid AMAB. I have closeted since about age 10 when I realized wow I felt when expressing myself through clothing was wrong. I think like many I first used my moms night dress around age 9 and remember it felt so good. I was home alone and stayed in her night dress all day simply playing with my toys in my room. Around age 10 I got caught and was shamed for it. I went a few years before the impulse to dress became to strong to ignore. I began, occasionally dressing in secret. Around this time I had a secret boyfriend and I would use his sisters clothing once in a while until he said it was weird, so back in the closet I would go and stay. I never connected sexuality to dressing. The feelings I experienced were more around comfort and pretty. After several failed relationships, 1 failed marriage, and 2 children, I met my current partner at age 22. I had 2 children, she had 2 children, we married, and had another. I did not fully dress for about 8 or 9 years but the impulse was strong. Around age 30 or so I came out to my partner. We were members of an internet group that was often openly sexual in nature. I had offered a questionnaire into one of the forums and one of the questions was "Have you ever warn clothing of the opposite sex?". We each answered the questions together and she was surprised by my answer. I was to find that, though she was surprised, she was supportive and encouraging. At the time our children were between the ages of 5 and 10, so I was limited to dressing only in our bedroom at night and/or when our children were at school. I would love those days. I would get up in the morning and see my wife off to her job, get the kids off to school, and get changed to spend the day as Dani, well back then it was Emily (long story). This went on for about 4 years off and on. I never really felt confident in how I looked to dress when alone with my wife except a few times or at night. After we bought our new home in 2009 I stopped again. The house was smaller, the kids were older, and we hit kind of a lull in our marriage. I was worried my kids would catch me or that my partner would no longer accept me. For the previous 13 years I have hid myself behind a mask of "gentle masculinity" is what my partner calls it. My partner and I have worked very hard at becoming each others best friend, support, lover, nurturer, and partner. We have a relationship that I never thought possible, but I stilled harbored shame, guilt, and fear about this masked part of who I am.  Recently, last month, I had a dream which left me feeling conflicted. It involved me being dressed as Dani and helping my partner prepare for something hurtful to myself. I felt conflicted because I felt hurt by what was going on in the dream, but I also felt excited about having been dressed and the impulse was again strong. I spoke to my partner about the dream and all of the feelings associated with it. I still struggle quite a bit with the shame and stigma that was instilled in me as a child. Again my partner was not only accepting and supportive but also encouraging. I have a hard time sometimes trusting it is true, but she has never lead me to know otherwise. So, here I sit today, about 3 weeks later next to my partner watching TV dressed as Dani, well as much as I am comfortable with at the moment. I shared with her a picture from yesterday. Yesterday while she was at work I wore my new burgundy tights and shirt, plaid skirt, and shoes. I am able to dress and be who I am and someday I will be be able to share that with her in person. I am still very self-conscious and sometimes feel fear and shame around it, but she is helping me work through it. Anyways, that's me. I am not thrilled with having a full beard and mustache, but I am a Santa during the Christmas season with a couple of good paying accounts, so, well at least for now, I am a full bearded genderfluid project in the working. 
    • Lindsey_D
      Thanks, but not really my words, just a summary paraphrase from Gal. 5:22.
    • Rose
      Well said Lindsey! Exactly what I meant 
    • derkgof
      hi, sorry there are so many replies to my thread and i don’t know how to fully reply to most of them besides saying i appreciate the support <3 seeing so many older trans people talk about their experiences really helps.    i want to ask people on here if i pass as male or not, should i make another thread for this? or is there one already set up. once again, i’m clueless. i have used forums before, but i’m just unsure as to how this particular one works.  i hate to say it, but the cat photo i’d attached isn’t even mine ☹️ he’s just a reaction image i like to use and i put it there to lighten the mood. BUUUUT,, at my grandmother’s house in turkey we do have kittens. i’ll show you :D i mainly just want to medically transition, find a nice partner and stuff. maybe pursue music? i think i want to be a GP, but i’m not sure yet. 
    • christinakristy2021
      You're very hot in those leggings hon. 
    • KymmieL
      I wish we had that at our VA. The LGBT coordinator is my current therapist.    Kymmie
    • Lindsey_D
      Exactly. Straight in your own mind about who and what you are and where it might be leading before trying to explain something to someone else. Part of my preparation was to be ready to spend several days in a hotel or with friends/family if wife needed the space and time to process. Not to sound all Scriptural, but you are asking for faith, patience and understanding &c, in so much as you ask these of her, be willing to extend them to her in kind.
    • hailey
      It has been a good day so far. Decided to go to church as Hailey once again. One church member asked me where I got the skirt I am wearing and told her.
    • Rose
      Dear Kyleigh,    I do understand that yours is not an easy situation, as I have been through this myself.    I read your post one two hours ago, and I’ve been wondering since what could be the best advice I could give you, in order to help you.    I think the most important thing is for you to be well prepared in your mind about what you will tell her.    First of all, I think the most important is to speak from the deepest point possible inside you heart: if you know that you are a trans woman, it’s better to say it frankly than to begin with a “softer” presentation of things like “I like to dress as a woman”. The most sincere it is, the easiest to understand and to accept IMO. Because if it’s a condition you really experience in every part and moment of your life, it can’t just be ignored. Someone who would just like to wear women’s clothes for fun is obviously not in the same situation. You can resist and manage an addiction, it’s much more difficult to do it with a real mental condition.   Another important thing also is to be sure that the way you will say it is not biased by other problems in your couple, or she may not be able to think about what you said with an open mind. For example, you being a trans woman can explain some aspects of your behaviour as a husband that don’t please her, but make sure that when you talk about it, she won’t feel like you are trying to blame her for anything. In my own story, understanding my being a trans woman explained a lot of frustration my wife had because she thought I wasn’t acting like a normal husband in numerous circumstances. Actually, she was right to think what she thought, as I wasn’t a “normal” husband. And I can’t blame her for thinking this. Actually my coming out helped a lot to ease our relations. Now she knows what she can’t await from me and why, and she also enjoys a more relaxed state in our relationship.   So it’s important that you have a clear idea of what you want to say and how you want to say. How you will introduce the subject, how you will formulate it. For all of this, a therapist is a good person to work on it with.    Plus it’s important that you take your time to be able to speak in a relaxed and peaceful way, and also that the moment is adequate for her to be able to really listen, and not be bothered by material worries. It there is stress whatsoever, if there is a time schedule, is there are upcoming social obligations, the risk is that you won’t have time enough to explain the things in a coherent and most possible depassionate way. Or that she won’t be present enough in the situation to receive a sincere message coming from your heart. Or that she won’t have enough time and peace of mind to be able to understand what you are telling her, to receive it, to process it, and to be able to understand what she thinks of it. And to ask you questions. And to listen to your answers. And so on.    So the best would be for example an evening when you have no obligations, and several hours in front of you, that you would have usually spent dining, talking and watching tv.    So the answer to your initial question would be: talk to her -as soon as you are clear about what you want to tell her, and you are sure that it comes from your heart and is not biased by other problems in your couple -when you think you will have enough time together discuss it, i.e. she has time and peace of mind to receive what you are telling her, and you have time and peace of mind also to receive her reactions.    If you manage to do so, I think the fact that she can have some days afterwhile to think it further can be a good thing.     Sorry for the long post, but yours was not an easy question!!!   All the best,   Cheers,    Rose
    • Heather Shay
      Last member of my nuclear family, besides me, passed away yesterday.  I remember seeing the following album in his collection and although not top on my list, it was interesting.    
    • Heather Shay
      Thank you - sadly he passed yesterday. We planned to visit on Monday but that was not meant to be.
    • Heather Shay
      Last member of nuclear family passed.
    • Heather Shay
      What is your favorite thing to do when you are alone?
    • Heather Shay
      Emotional stability is the ability to manage and express emotions in a healthy way, even in stressful situations. It's often used interchangeably with emotional intelligence and emotion regulation.      Here are some ways to develop emotional stability: Practice self-care: Prioritize your well-being and recharge your emotional batteries.      Reflect on your emotions: Develop self-compassion, which can reduce anxiety and depression.      Learn to express your emotions: It's natural to have a range of emotions.      Practice empathy: Try to understand the perspectives of others and respond with kindness and compassion.      Set boundaries: Set physical, mental, and emotional limits to protect yourself and others.      Emotional stability is often considered one of the big five personality traits, neuroticism.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...