Lexxi's Introduction

[Lexxi]

My name is Lexxi and I'm a 54 year old trans woman. I've known that I was different for as long as I can remember. I was in kindergarten when I first realized that even though I was supposed to be a boy, I certainly didn't feel like one. In my mind I always felt like a little girl who enjoyed playing dolls with my female classmates and had no interest in playing with the boys or their traditional male centered toys. I liked having long hair and cried every time my mom took me to the barber shop. I also loved wearing what I call soft clothes. In other words they're clothes that would be more appropriate on girls. Of course children being as cruel as they can be I was teased mercilessly. In order to put a stop to their torture I started playing the roll of a boy, and that carried on for most of my life.

I'm almost positive that every one who reads this went through some of the same treatment I did, so I don't have to explain how painful life has been...you already know. The only way I was able to get through it was to tamp down the real me and always remain in my outward character. Every time I thought too much about the hidden me it would send me into a pretty deep depression that I could never tell anyone about. I felt truly alone. I tried to never think about Lexxi because to do so hurt so bad.

 

In order to help keep my pain at bay I started drinking...heavily. But I only did that for about 15 years. I eventually quit drinking because I didn't want my child to grow up with a drunk parent. So I quit the booze and just learned to deal with the pain...but it was never fun.

 

Then in 2019 my life totally changed. I was able to find happiness. I came out in May of 2019 then started HRT in July of the same year. I legally changed my name in December and went full-time at that time. In May of of 2022 I had my bottom surgery and I've been really happy about that. I have a consultation with a plastic surgeon in July (2023) and hope to have my surgery by December.

 

So that's me in a nutshell. If anyone has any questions please don't hesitate to ask.

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Lexxi,

 

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here.

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf🐾

[April Marie]

Welcome to the forums, Lexxi!! Lots of love and support here!!

 

 

[missyjo]

e

Lexxi,

welcome

 happy you found us. we are, as you'll find  a little community of  non binary people who just want to love n help each other on this journey called life. so, ask questions, give out advice, tell your stories for your vintage point n welcome home dear.

 

hugs

 

missy jo

[AllieJ]

To be transparent, I have had the pleasure of knowing Lexxi for years, and consider her one of my closest friends. She has a heart of gold and a zany sense of humour, and you just can't help loving her! Unfortunately we live on opposite sides of this planet, so I can only 'see' her online! But it's great to have friends in new environments!

 

Hugs,

 

Allie

[KathyLauren]

Hi, Lexxi.  Good to see you here!  It's a great group of people.

[Charlize]

Welcome Lexxi.  
I remember a time in kindergarten when the girls were suddenly separate.  I simply felt i was on the wrong team.  I remember loving to play with some big cardboard blocks but was just as happy working in the miniature kitchen when i could get there.  It has taken time to simply find peace with myself.  This site has certainly been a great part of the comfort i now feel.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Mirrabooka]

Welcome aboard, Lexxi. I admire your determination to go ahead and physically become who you really are. it's a good news story! 

[Susan R]

15 hours ago, Lexxi said:

My name is Lexxi and I'm a 54 year old trans woman.

Hi @Lexxi, It exciting to see you here. I believe you’re the same Lexxi I met way back at the beginning of your transition. Our stories are so similar starting at a very young age. It’s so nice to read about all the positive changes you’ve made in your life over these last few years. You’ve certainly come a long way. I look forward to catching up on other details in your life if you’re open to it.

 

Great to see you again,

Susan R🌷

[Lexxi]

6 hours ago, Susan R said:

Hi @Lexxi, It exciting to see you here. I believe you’re the same Lexxi I met way back at the beginning of your transition. Our stories are so similar starting at a very young age. It’s so nice to read about all the positive changes you’ve made in your life over these last few years. You’ve certainly come a long way. I look forward to catching up on other details in your life if you’re open to it.

 

Great to see you again,

Susan R🌷

OMG Susan.......yes I'm the same Lexxi. You were one of the very first trans people to really get to know me. I loved reading your life story and following along with your transition. We used to have some very good messages going back and forth between your house and mine. I've often wondered what came of you after I left the other forum and helped get a different one started. I was sad that we lost touch.

 

So how are you doing? I hope everything is better with your family than it was the last time we communicated. Sadly for me my daughter no longer speaks to me. It's broken my heart in a million pieces and I don't think I'll ever get over being abandoned by her, but I have to do what's best for me and my mental sanity. I MUST continue to be my true self.

 

I just went back and re-read what I wrote last night. I realized that I left out something really important. The plastic surgeon I'm meeting next month is the one who'll do my top surgery. Last year I had the option to either do top or bottom surgery and I chose to to bottom surgery first. They're equally important to me but I knew that the bottom surgery would be the more serious one with the longer recovery. So I went for that one first.

 

Now it's time for top surgery and I can't wait till it gets here. I don't want impossibly big results but I know I'm going to have to have bigger implants because I'm a bigger person. I just want them to look proportional on me. The surgeon I've chosen to go to is supposed to be one of the best ones in Indianapolis and they say after your consultation it takes about 5 or 6 months to get the surgery after that. I kinda wish he wasn't so busy. hahaha

 

I'm glad that I found you again and I hope we can continue to have some good talks.

 

Lexxi

[MaybeRob]

Welcome Lexxi,

 

good to see you here

 

Hugs

 

MaybeRob

[Lexxi]

Thank you all for the warm welcome!

[Confused1]

Hi Lexxi!

 

I don't get on often, but I am here too.

 

Hugs,

Mike