Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Introducing Myself


Mychal

Recommended Posts

Hello. I'm Mychal. I've always felt I was both male and female, starting when I was 4 or 5 years old. I even remember being mistaken for being a girl back in 1951 when I was 2 years old physical boy (I hadn’t been given a haircut yet). I was always sensitive, and while still a young child my mother told me I needed to “toughen up”. As a teen I preferred relationships to “sexual conquests”, but girls preferred bad boys...and I definitely wasn't one of those. At the age of 27, even though at first glance I looked very macho, women thought I had a feminine air because of the way I coordinated my male outfits. I've always had a touch of gynecomastia and wide hips, but advanced age and major weight loss as revealed my body as being totally feminine in shape with an hourglass shape. I've never been on HRT, so my girls are a direct result of Grade 4 gynecomastia.

 

I'm here because I'm looking for a community with like experienced people.

Link to comment

Welcome to the forum, Mychal!! You'll find lots of information and even more welcoming people here. Each of us is unique. Look around, ask questions and post as you feel comfortable!!

Link to comment

Hiya Mychal

 

It's funny - you think you alone and then you find this forum. While everyone's story is unique if you look around you will find parts that have meaning to you.

 

Hugs

 

MaybeRob

Link to comment

Thank you for the welcome, April Marie and MaybeRob! I'm looking forward to chatting with members and getting fashion hints on pulling together some outfits to replace my boys clothes!

 

Ciao,

Mychal

Link to comment

Hey girl!, welcome to the TP site. I'm glad you made it over. 

It takes a bit too get used to, but you will find the people here are very accepting. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome dear.

   I loved dressing"well" as a young man.  I loved putting outfits together and still do.  I must admit most of the time i'm wearing quite similar outfits however as i'm on the farm.  Adding a scarf, bandana or hat can easily make that casual work look appear ready for a trip to town.  Dressing is one of the joys of transition.  It took seemingly years to find my own style but time and experimentation has given me a wardrobe.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize 

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Birdie said:

Hey girl!, welcome to the TP site. I'm glad you made it over. 

It takes a bit too get used to, but you will find the people here are very accepting. 

Thank you, Birdie! I look forward to getting to know the folks and contribute positivity!

Link to comment

A little bit more about myself: as a 5 year old, I instinctively felt I could choose between being a "boy" or "girl". Sometimes I felt like I was both and told my grandmother that when I grew up I would grow "boobies" like hers. And so my body did! 😉

Link to comment

Hi Mychal I have done most of my shopping on temu.com and shein.com. The clothes come from China but I have never found anything as cheap and good quality. I'm building up my wardrobe and have 14 dresses, 12 skirts, 10 yoga pants, 14 tops and 12 more sport bras are on the way. I did order a gothic dress from temu.com and I think it should be here soon. I can't wait to have it. I'll post it up as soon as I can. 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Ashley0616 said:

Hi Mychal I have done most of my shopping on temu.com and shein.com. The clothes come from China but I have never found anything as cheap and good quality. I'm building up my wardrobe and have 14 dresses, 12 skirts, 10 yoga pants, 14 tops and 12 more sport bras are on the way. I did order a gothic dress from temu.com and I think it should be here soon. I can't wait to have it. I'll post it up as soon as I can. 

I'd love to see! Thank you!

Link to comment
9 minutes ago, Mychal said:

I'd love to see! Thank you!

You're welcome that's what us girls are here for to help each other out. I have an shopping cart with an order of almost seven hundred dollars worth but it took a lot to get that much. I also have another shopping cart with temu for four hundred-fifty dollars. After that I will be done with the majority of my shopping then just buying a dress, skirt or shoes here and there. Retail therapy is AWESOME! If only I had the account to handle it lol. 

Link to comment
6 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

Retail therapy is AWESOME! If only I had the account to handle it lol. 

Oh my! do I understand 🙄

Link to comment
14 minutes ago, Birdie said:

Oh my! do I understand 🙄

LOL. I'm looking forward to next month. I'm getting six skorts, four skirts, fifteen tops and t-shirts. My 12 sport bras I ordered will be in the beginning of next month. 

Link to comment
51 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

LOL. I'm looking forward to next month. I'm getting six skorts, four skirts, fifteen tops and t-shirts. My 12 sport bras I ordered will be in the beginning of next month. 

Wow!! You’re a bit of a “clothes horse”, aren’t you? 😃🤗

Link to comment
42 minutes ago, Mychal said:

Wow!! You’re a bit of a “clothes horse”, aren’t you? 😃🤗

Oh yes I have a big walk in closet and I want it full. It would be nice to not have to wear the same clothes every week. I can mix somethings up but I love clothes and shoes. I used to be into video games big time but that has almost faded away. 

Link to comment
23 hours ago, Mychal said:

Hello. I'm Mychal. I've always felt I was both male and female, starting when I was 4 or 5 years old. I even remember being mistaken for being a girl back in 1951 when I was 2 years old physical boy (I hadn’t been given a haircut yet). I was always sensitive, and while still a young child my mother told me I needed to “toughen up”. As a teen I preferred relationships to “sexual conquests”, but girls preferred bad boys...and I definitely wasn't one of those. At the age of 27, even though at first glance I looked very macho, women thought I had a feminine air because of the way I coordinated my male outfits. I've always had a touch of gynecomastia and wide hips, but advanced age and major weight loss as revealed my body as being totally feminine in shape with an hourglass shape. I've never been on HRT, so my girls are a direct result of Grade 4 gynecomastia.

 

I'm here because I'm looking for a community with like experienced people.

 

Hi Mychal, and welcome.

 

We have some similar circumstances. I had gynecomastia, too. So when I was transitioning & first provided with a hormone (HRT) letter from my then-therapist, and then went to be examined by a physician to get the hormones, she asked me if I had ever been on HRT before. Because of the size of my boobs. But I hadn't. It was just the way I was. And because that was also an element of who I was inside gender-wise, I was actually, secretly proud of them. 

 

And you still might consider trying HRT if your circumstances are right for it, and it is something you want to do. I bring this up because HRT affects more than the body, they also affect the brain. For me, I would remain on HRT even if there were no physical changes (or enhanced physical changes) because of what HRT does for my thought processes and emotions. HRT  really helps bring out "the real me" and I am very thankful for every day I spend on them.

 

Just some food for thought and not everybody needs to go the HRT route. But for those that do, it can certainly be amazing.

 

Link to comment

Hi Mychal! I too had some feminine physical characteristics throughout my life, and as I progressed through my 50's and 60's they became more noticeable. My doctor diagnosed me with Hypogonadism, but further investigation found I was a DES baby. You are of the generation where DES (Diethylstilbestrol) was used during pregnancies, resulting in a range of developmental 'variations'. Sadly I missed having an hourglass shape, but I had an incomplete puberty, some gynecomastia, and undersize genitals, but in my 50's my testosterone production almost ceased, and my genitals atrophied and withdrew. My blessing is that I have retained a full head of hair, and I am the shortest of my brothers at 5' 7", which made transition in my 60's a little easier.

 

I hope your participation on this forum gives you answers and peace, and many new friends!

 

hugs,

 

Allie 

Link to comment
23 hours ago, Kristen Sehr said:

And you still might consider trying HRT if your circumstances are right for it, and it is something you want to do. I bring this up because HRT affects more than the body, they also affect the brain. For me, I would remain on HRT even if there were no physical changes (or enhanced physical changes) because of what HRT does for my thought processes and emotions. HRT  really helps bring out "the real me" and I am very thankful for every day I spend on them.

 

 

Thank you for that, Kristen! My thought processes have always been more feminine than masculine. But my physical appearance made me look more macho than I EVER was. Even as a young kid, I hated the usual rough housing and boisterous activities of boys my own age. I was more sensitive and emotional, and much preferred the company of girls/women, but that was not something that girls/women in the 1950s/60s/70s would be comfortable with me being around. I eventually met and married (still am) with a woman who was more comfortable with men (and thought more like one) than with women. That's why we have lasted so long together (43 years). But my physical changes thru natural estrogen surge makes me feel girlier than my wife...liking brighter colored clothes, and my urge to wear dresses, skirts, etc. Ever since my girls became extremely visible thru extreme weight loss, it's been a struggle to get her to accept my needing to wear women's pants, bras, shirts because men's clothes don't fit my measurements.

 

My natural inclination is to automatically be wary of men, not feeling safe around them or trust their intentions. I'm curious if you could DM about how taking HRT has changed your emotions and thought processes.

 

Hugs,

Mychal

Link to comment
22 hours ago, AllieJ said:

Hi Mychal! I too had some feminine physical characteristics throughout my life, and as I progressed through my 50's and 60's they became more noticeable...

...in my 50's my testosterone production almost ceased, and my genitals atrophied and withdrew. My blessing is that I have retained a full head of hair, and I am the shortest of my brothers at 5' 7", which made transition in my 60's a little easier.

Thanks for reaching out, AllieJ!

 

I've always had high testosterone levels (they are still high for my age now), which makes my also having normal estrogen levels for a woman my age a mystery to my endocrinologist, who ran me thru a full range of ultrasounds and mammograms. The estrogen levels are not due to any medication side effects or internal organ problems.

 

I was prematurely bald by the age of 19, grew only to a height of 5' 5", and had moderate gynecomastia until about eight years ago when my girls showed up on my chest (I was 50 pounds overweight at that time, so I thought they were "moobs").

 

Hugs,

Mychal

 

 

Link to comment
23 minutes ago, Mychal said:

Ever since my girls became extremely visible thru extreme weight loss, it's been a struggle to get her to accept my needing to wear women's pants, bras, shirts because men's clothes don't fit my measurements.

My wife left about the time I could no longer hide my breasts in public. 

Trying to keep the S.O. happy while dealing with physical changes at the same time can be challenging. I did not succeed. I would take her back anytime, but as time passes that seems very unlikely. 

@Mychal do your best to keep her happy finding a happy medium, and open conversation is the best advice I can offer. 😉

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Mychal said:

Thank you for that, Kristen! My thought processes have always been more feminine than masculine. But my physical appearance made me look more macho than I EVER was. Even as a young kid, I hated the usual rough housing and boisterous activities of boys my own age. I was more sensitive and emotional, and much preferred the company of girls/women, but that was not something that girls/women in the 1950s/60s/70s would be comfortable with me being around. I eventually met and married (still am) with a woman who was more comfortable with men (and thought more like one) than with women. That's why we have lasted so long together (43 years). But my physical changes thru natural estrogen surge makes me feel girlier than my wife...liking brighter colored clothes, and my urge to wear dresses, skirts, etc. Ever since my girls became extremely visible thru extreme weight loss, it's been a struggle to get her to accept my needing to wear women's pants, bras, shirts because men's clothes don't fit my measurements.

 

My natural inclination is to automatically be wary of men, not feeling safe around them or trust their intentions. I'm curious if you could DM about how taking HRT has changed your emotions and thought processes.

 

Hugs,

Mychal

 

Mychal, I'll be glad to DM you. Will be doing so shortly.

 

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Birdie said:

My wife left about the time I could no longer hide my breasts in public. 

Trying to keep the S.O. happy while dealing with physical changes at the same time can be challenging. I did not succeed. I would take her back anytime, but as time passes that seems very unlikely. 

@Mychal do your best to keep her happy finding a happy medium, and open conversation is the best advice I can offer. 😉

 

I am so very sorry that happened to you Birdie, with your wife leaving like that. For those of us already in relationships when our gender issues surface, finding a happy medium can be difficult if not impossible. It was an extremely hard time for me when that happened, so I can relate.

 

Plus I was so deeply in denial when I got married that I would not even recognize the gender issues going on inside myself at that point, let alone be able to confide in anybody else about them. So my wife got far more than she ever bargained for, and it was all the more shocking when I finally did come out to her (as I had felt this way since I was a little kid, and told her so). I truly felt horrible. Absolutely horrible, because I loved her and I had deeply hurt her.

 

What helped, but only somewhat, was the realization that at least some of what she found attractive in me, and loved about me, were the femme things in my personality that she later instantly distrusted and hated when she first found out about what I really was under the surface. Took awhile to reach that point. We separated but got back together.

 

There is certainly a need for balance and negotiation when possible, when a spouse is involved - if one wants the relationship to continue. But how far does one go in trying to be accommodating with a spouse while also dealing with pressing gender issues like these? Darned if I know.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Kristen Sehr said:

So my wife got far more than she ever bargained for

Yeah, my wife of course knew I was intersex when we married. She did not know that my body wasn't done changing yet, and I didn't either. 

The changes were quick and drastic, even though I was still "trying" to present myself as male. 

When things couldn't be hidden from public view anymore, she decided she wasn't into it. She didn't sign up for "kissing a girl", and that's where my body decided to go. Of course finally being honest with her after all those years and explaining that I had always seen myself female and the male thing was a "charade" didn't help either. 

I should have been completely honest when we met, and she could have avoided it altogether. 

 

All in all, my body decided to go all the way, and I'm just along for the ride. I finally let my growing breasts and curves lead the way and accepted myself. Would have been nice if my wife was here too join me, but she isn't. 

You can negotiate how you present yourself, but you can't negotiate out physical changes that are happening by themselves.   

In my case both parties needed to compromise, and that didn't happen. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 125 Guests (See full list)

    • Susie
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • SamC
    • MaybeRob
    • MaeBe
    • EffieL
    • Thea
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,988
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Stefani pratt
    Newest Member
    Stefani pratt
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alliana
      Alliana
      (58 years old)
    2. Asayoru-343
      Asayoru-343
      (18 years old)
    3. dhowell
      dhowell
      (69 years old)
    4. Swan13
      Swan13
  • Posts

    • MaeBe
      Lest I need state it, I understand there are churches/congregations/sects that are very LGBTQ+ welcoming. They are a beautiful minority.   On the whole you will find more xtian/xtian-adjacent religions against LGBTQ+ people than those that support them. Perhaps in 300 years it will be different, but for now where are the voices coming from that most vehemently eschew queer people? I ask that simple question. If my answer of mostly religious-based persons is wrong, I am happy to stand corrected.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I read through those SBC documents, the Nashville Statement and some other stuff and I am sitting here frustrated with the situation, not guilty feeling but irritated at how they missed some logical connections because of their preconceptions and I seriously doubt they talked to a biologist, a geneticist or a specialist in sexual disorders before writing this stuff.   I've never been SBC and never plan to be.  Nonetheless there is a sense of yuck I have to deal with.  They are conservative evangelicals and likely have never met an articulate transgender person in their lives, one they can dialog with, because, for one thing, according to the Nashville Statement, they will shut down dialog and tell the transgender person how they are wrong.  No listening.  Just telling. 
    • MaeBe
      And we're no longer primitive. We're not longer fighting for the survival of the species, in fact we're killing the planet with our virility. You can claim old habits die hard, but it's not for primitive clashes of clans (almost wrote clashes of clams, that's a completely different thing!) that these mentalities persist. Who is responsible for maintaining ancient culture in the name of tradition? Perhaps my argument is a semantic one, but who are the people most insistent in perpetuating the past? Religious bodies and those that support them are.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The only memory I can drudge up about a flippant attitude was some school kid who said he switched genders on a whim and never could decide on Monday what he would be Tuesday.  This was an online article a ways back.  For all I know the author of the article exaggerated.  Or misunderstood.   Trying to locate the cause of this idea that transgender people have a flippant attitude, which nyet, about TG, especially in the light of the immense soul-struggle so many go through on so many levels.   They may say they love someone, but you are right, what happens in the actuality is what counts and 'loving church discipline' can be cold and cruel.  Personally I am not going to risk it. If I found myself at an SBC church even for one meeting I would carefully avoid any hint that I am TG.  They might feel obligated to deliver my filthy soul from Satan and not believe it when I said I already invited Jesus in my heart and I seek to obey Him.  I have been through things like that at times on other issues.   Our denomination has a position paper on transgender I can live with, and we really like our church and are plugged in and comfortable.  I pointed out to our pastor that, percentage wise, we in all likelihood have some stealth transgender among us.  He did not reply, and he did not reply in a manner that makes me think he knows of some in our church, people who have told him they are and he is keeping the confidence.  Several times he has alluded to transgender people without condemnation.  It's a good place. We struggle with the issue of dealing with transgender youth coming to youth events, I have heard second hand.  But they are welcome and they come.  Issues like where do they sleep at night get wrestled with. Not banning them.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Listen to John MacArthur on trans* sometimes - Christians sometimes do.  I could easily point to others.    I'm not sure religion is the underlying cause.  In a primitive tribe, a man does not want to go to war because he is a woman? They are down a warrior. A woman claims to be a man and does not want to build the tribe up by giving birth? Both of these things are primitively treason against the tribe. 
    • Mmindy
      @Abigail GenevieveI was raised on St. Louis Cardinals Baseball & Blues Hockey. I’m old enough to have been a Cards Football fan too, but Bill Bidwell changed that when he moved the team to Arizona. 
    • MaeBe
      Honestly, I wasn't talking about religious stances on trans people when I wrote that. That said, religion fosters transphobia in subtle and awful ways. Such as your reference for the SBC, it's a sin. Why? Because they interpret scripture in a way to exclude trans people from the capability of being saved? Where do you think transphobia really stems from? It is 100% rooted in religion. Even those that aren't religious are influenced by religion, society as a whole has been. I think handwaving their position as simply "honoring tradition" or "interpreting sin" as not being transphobic is allowing their doublespeak to cloud judgement. If they truly loved, respected, understood, and embraced humanity people they wouldn't exclude trans people. They would go to the parts of the bible that talk about loving everyone as they are God's creations and just letting God sort it out in the end, but no: if you're not cis/het, you're not welcome and shame on you [selected slur]!   On the flip side, I draw parallels to how religion behaves exactly as xstian nationalists insist LGBTQ+ people are grooming youths. The main way to make more xtians is to breed and indoctrinate the young. Trans people aren't forcing their young to be trans or guilting them to no end if they're not or traveling the world as missionaries to spread transness!   Anyway, I am flying too close to the Sun here. I have no qualms if people find solace, grace, or peace in faith or religion, but I am wary of the idea that religion doesn't propagate transphobia.  
    • Betty K
      I’m glad to hear you mean no harm and have no beef with genderfluid folks. Thank you for clarifying that. This still seems a strange presumption to me though, when so much of anti-trans propaganda is clearly either (a) concocted in bad faith to justify an argument, or (b) based on ignorant assumptions. Yes it’s possible a few outliers in the trans community are making ridiculous claims about this topic, but even if so I seriously doubt they are the cause of the relevant anti-trans propaganda.    That may well be a fair call, and you’re right that “transphobe” is an over-generalisation. I used it as a shorthand and because, as Sally and MaeBe said, there is always a transphobic minority that spreads the anti-trans views which then unfortunately influence some who are less transphobic. But I still think we can fairly characterise such beliefs as being transphobic, at least partly. As to the absence of hatred in those church documents, you may be right about that, but I would be wary of taking people or institutions at face value when they urge love and compassion. Even the most virulent transphobes sometimes claim to support trans people. Actions speak louder than words.    I do better understand your anguish over lack of belief in trans identities now though. It must be very difficult being trans and involved with certain churches. I know there are some churches that accept and affirm trans folks though; maybe it’s time for a change in denomination?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I looked through the Focus on the Family material and also the Southern Baptist Convention stuff, both highly influential, both rejecting transgenderism.  I found no hatred but an urge to treat people with love and compassion. I found some logical fallacies in both and nothing convinced me to change my position.  SBC assumes someone who is transgender is not saved and so is not allowed to join their congregations.    I have a certain affection for both.  FotF helped us with some material that helped us raise our kids and on most issues they are fellow travelers.  SBC seeks to conscientiously fight the good fight but I would never join a SBC church for reasons that are irrelevant here.  Not that I could now in good conscience.  I look like a guy? SURPRISE!  Left boot of fellowship.   The Nashville Statement is worse.  CBMW.org wrote it and it has been criticized heavily by some trans folk. . https://cbmw.org/nashville-statement#articles  I am saddened at some of who signed the thing. Articles 10 and 13 are of particular interest.  Other things can be found here that trans folk would take exception to. But they do not treat TG as something flippant.    I would not refer to any of these as transphobes.  I am not sure the term is useful in conceptualizing or interacting with those who object to the idea of transgender being something besides sin.  When all you have is a hammer, everything is a nail.    
    • Maddee
      Happy to see the rainbows again🌈🌈
    • Ashley0616
    • Vidanjali
      Nice to see you, dear and congratulations on your upcoming anniversary. Very well done!
    • Vidanjali
      It's estimated between 1-2% of the general population is transgender. This is based on a cursory web search of studies and stats. So apply that to all teachers and students in Florida. According to ballotpedia, in 2022 there was a total of about 3 million public school teachers and students combined. That does not include  higher ed institutions and private institutions. So let's tack on another million people which is a pretty conservative estimate. 1-2% of 4 million is 40,000-80,000 people.
    • Vidanjali
      Both. In the course of experience an individual will naturally go through periods of inquiry and seek to define their experiences for deeper personal insight. This potentially goes on and on, though some have greater curiosity than others.
    • Ashley0616
      Heck I would get rid of the left and right lower rib. I would love a narrower waist but I would still need to get rid of my gut. I guess I'll do liposuction and tummy tuck and while they are at they can remove those ribs. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...