Introducing Myself

[Mychal]

Hello. I'm Mychal. I've always felt I was both male and female, starting when I was 4 or 5 years old. I even remember being mistaken for being a girl back in 1951 when I was 2 years old physical boy (I hadn’t been given a haircut yet). I was always sensitive, and while still a young child my mother told me I needed to “toughen up”. As a teen I preferred relationships to “sexual conquests”, but girls preferred bad boys...and I definitely wasn't one of those. At the age of 27, even though at first glance I looked very macho, women thought I had a feminine air because of the way I coordinated my male outfits. I've always had a touch of gynecomastia and wide hips, but advanced age and major weight loss as revealed my body as being totally feminine in shape with an hourglass shape. I've never been on HRT, so my girls are a direct result of Grade 4 gynecomastia.

 

I'm here because I'm looking for a community with like experienced people.

[April Marie]

Welcome to the forum, Mychal!! You'll find lots of information and even more welcoming people here. Each of us is unique. Look around, ask questions and post as you feel comfortable!!

[MaybeRob]

Hiya Mychal

 

It's funny - you think you alone and then you find this forum. While everyone's story is unique if you look around you will find parts that have meaning to you.

 

Hugs

 

MaybeRob

[Mychal]

Thank you for the welcome, April Marie and MaybeRob! I'm looking forward to chatting with members and getting fashion hints on pulling together some outfits to replace my boys clothes!

 

Ciao,

Mychal

[Birdie]

Hey girl!, welcome to the TP site. I'm glad you made it over. 

It takes a bit too get used to, but you will find the people here are very accepting. 

[Charlize]

Welcome dear.

   I loved dressing"well" as a young man.  I loved putting outfits together and still do.  I must admit most of the time i'm wearing quite similar outfits however as i'm on the farm.  Adding a scarf, bandana or hat can easily make that casual work look appear ready for a trip to town.  Dressing is one of the joys of transition.  It took seemingly years to find my own style but time and experimentation has given me a wardrobe.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize 

[Ivy]

Welcome Mychal

[Mychal]

2 hours ago, Birdie said:

Hey girl!, welcome to the TP site. I'm glad you made it over. 

It takes a bit too get used to, but you will find the people here are very accepting. 

Thank you, Birdie! I look forward to getting to know the folks and contribute positivity!

[Mychal]

Thank you for welcoming me, Ivy and Charlize! (Charlize, I ALWAYS wear a nice hat!) 🙂

[Mychal]

A little bit more about myself: as a 5 year old, I instinctively felt I could choose between being a "boy" or "girl". Sometimes I felt like I was both and told my grandmother that when I grew up I would grow "boobies" like hers. And so my body did! 😉

[Ashley0616]

Hi Mychal I have done most of my shopping on temu.com and shein.com. The clothes come from China but I have never found anything as cheap and good quality. I'm building up my wardrobe and have 14 dresses, 12 skirts, 10 yoga pants, 14 tops and 12 more sport bras are on the way. I did order a gothic dress from temu.com and I think it should be here soon. I can't wait to have it. I'll post it up as soon as I can. 

[Mychal]

1 hour ago, Ashley0616 said:

Hi Mychal I have done most of my shopping on temu.com and shein.com. The clothes come from China but I have never found anything as cheap and good quality. I'm building up my wardrobe and have 14 dresses, 12 skirts, 10 yoga pants, 14 tops and 12 more sport bras are on the way. I did order a gothic dress from temu.com and I think it should be here soon. I can't wait to have it. I'll post it up as soon as I can. 

I'd love to see! Thank you!

[Ashley0616]

9 minutes ago, Mychal said:

I'd love to see! Thank you!

You're welcome that's what us girls are here for to help each other out. I have an shopping cart with an order of almost seven hundred dollars worth but it took a lot to get that much. I also have another shopping cart with temu for four hundred-fifty dollars. After that I will be done with the majority of my shopping then just buying a dress, skirt or shoes here and there. Retail therapy is AWESOME! If only I had the account to handle it lol. 

[Birdie]

6 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

Retail therapy is AWESOME! If only I had the account to handle it lol. 

Oh my! do I understand 🙄

[Ashley0616]

14 minutes ago, Birdie said:

Oh my! do I understand 🙄

LOL. I'm looking forward to next month. I'm getting six skorts, four skirts, fifteen tops and t-shirts. My 12 sport bras I ordered will be in the beginning of next month. 

[Mychal]

51 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

LOL. I'm looking forward to next month. I'm getting six skorts, four skirts, fifteen tops and t-shirts. My 12 sport bras I ordered will be in the beginning of next month. 

Wow!! You’re a bit of a “clothes horse”, aren’t you? 😃🤗

[Ashley0616]

42 minutes ago, Mychal said:

Wow!! You’re a bit of a “clothes horse”, aren’t you? 😃🤗

Oh yes I have a big walk in closet and I want it full. It would be nice to not have to wear the same clothes every week. I can mix somethings up but I love clothes and shoes. I used to be into video games big time but that has almost faded away. 

[Kristen Sehr]

23 hours ago, Mychal said:

Hello. I'm Mychal. I've always felt I was both male and female, starting when I was 4 or 5 years old. I even remember being mistaken for being a girl back in 1951 when I was 2 years old physical boy (I hadn’t been given a haircut yet). I was always sensitive, and while still a young child my mother told me I needed to “toughen up”. As a teen I preferred relationships to “sexual conquests”, but girls preferred bad boys...and I definitely wasn't one of those. At the age of 27, even though at first glance I looked very macho, women thought I had a feminine air because of the way I coordinated my male outfits. I've always had a touch of gynecomastia and wide hips, but advanced age and major weight loss as revealed my body as being totally feminine in shape with an hourglass shape. I've never been on HRT, so my girls are a direct result of Grade 4 gynecomastia.

 

I'm here because I'm looking for a community with like experienced people.

 

Hi Mychal, and welcome.

 

We have some similar circumstances. I had gynecomastia, too. So when I was transitioning & first provided with a hormone (HRT) letter from my then-therapist, and then went to be examined by a physician to get the hormones, she asked me if I had ever been on HRT before. Because of the size of my boobs. But I hadn't. It was just the way I was. And because that was also an element of who I was inside gender-wise, I was actually, secretly proud of them. 

 

And you still might consider trying HRT if your circumstances are right for it, and it is something you want to do. I bring this up because HRT affects more than the body, they also affect the brain. For me, I would remain on HRT even if there were no physical changes (or enhanced physical changes) because of what HRT does for my thought processes and emotions. HRT  really helps bring out "the real me" and I am very thankful for every day I spend on them.

 

Just some food for thought and not everybody needs to go the HRT route. But for those that do, it can certainly be amazing.

 

[AllieJ]

Hi Mychal! I too had some feminine physical characteristics throughout my life, and as I progressed through my 50's and 60's they became more noticeable. My doctor diagnosed me with Hypogonadism, but further investigation found I was a DES baby. You are of the generation where DES (Diethylstilbestrol) was used during pregnancies, resulting in a range of developmental 'variations'. Sadly I missed having an hourglass shape, but I had an incomplete puberty, some gynecomastia, and undersize genitals, but in my 50's my testosterone production almost ceased, and my genitals atrophied and withdrew. My blessing is that I have retained a full head of hair, and I am the shortest of my brothers at 5' 7", which made transition in my 60's a little easier.

 

I hope your participation on this forum gives you answers and peace, and many new friends!

 

hugs,

 

Allie 

[Mychal]

23 hours ago, Kristen Sehr said:

And you still might consider trying HRT if your circumstances are right for it, and it is something you want to do. I bring this up because HRT affects more than the body, they also affect the brain. For me, I would remain on HRT even if there were no physical changes (or enhanced physical changes) because of what HRT does for my thought processes and emotions. HRT  really helps bring out "the real me" and I am very thankful for every day I spend on them.

 

 

Thank you for that, Kristen! My thought processes have always been more feminine than masculine. But my physical appearance made me look more macho than I EVER was. Even as a young kid, I hated the usual rough housing and boisterous activities of boys my own age. I was more sensitive and emotional, and much preferred the company of girls/women, but that was not something that girls/women in the 1950s/60s/70s would be comfortable with me being around. I eventually met and married (still am) with a woman who was more comfortable with men (and thought more like one) than with women. That's why we have lasted so long together (43 years). But my physical changes thru natural estrogen surge makes me feel girlier than my wife...liking brighter colored clothes, and my urge to wear dresses, skirts, etc. Ever since my girls became extremely visible thru extreme weight loss, it's been a struggle to get her to accept my needing to wear women's pants, bras, shirts because men's clothes don't fit my measurements.

 

My natural inclination is to automatically be wary of men, not feeling safe around them or trust their intentions. I'm curious if you could DM about how taking HRT has changed your emotions and thought processes.

 

Hugs,

Mychal

[Mychal]

22 hours ago, AllieJ said:

Hi Mychal! I too had some feminine physical characteristics throughout my life, and as I progressed through my 50's and 60's they became more noticeable...

...in my 50's my testosterone production almost ceased, and my genitals atrophied and withdrew. My blessing is that I have retained a full head of hair, and I am the shortest of my brothers at 5' 7", which made transition in my 60's a little easier.

Thanks for reaching out, AllieJ!

 

I've always had high testosterone levels (they are still high for my age now), which makes my also having normal estrogen levels for a woman my age a mystery to my endocrinologist, who ran me thru a full range of ultrasounds and mammograms. The estrogen levels are not due to any medication side effects or internal organ problems.

 

I was prematurely bald by the age of 19, grew only to a height of 5' 5", and had moderate gynecomastia until about eight years ago when my girls showed up on my chest (I was 50 pounds overweight at that time, so I thought they were "moobs").

 

Hugs,

Mychal

 

 

[Birdie]

23 minutes ago, Mychal said:

Ever since my girls became extremely visible thru extreme weight loss, it's been a struggle to get her to accept my needing to wear women's pants, bras, shirts because men's clothes don't fit my measurements.

My wife left about the time I could no longer hide my breasts in public. 

Trying to keep the S.O. happy while dealing with physical changes at the same time can be challenging. I did not succeed. I would take her back anytime, but as time passes that seems very unlikely. 

@Mychal do your best to keep her happy finding a happy medium, and open conversation is the best advice I can offer. 😉

[Kristen Sehr]

4 hours ago, Mychal said:

Thank you for that, Kristen! My thought processes have always been more feminine than masculine. But my physical appearance made me look more macho than I EVER was. Even as a young kid, I hated the usual rough housing and boisterous activities of boys my own age. I was more sensitive and emotional, and much preferred the company of girls/women, but that was not something that girls/women in the 1950s/60s/70s would be comfortable with me being around. I eventually met and married (still am) with a woman who was more comfortable with men (and thought more like one) than with women. That's why we have lasted so long together (43 years). But my physical changes thru natural estrogen surge makes me feel girlier than my wife...liking brighter colored clothes, and my urge to wear dresses, skirts, etc. Ever since my girls became extremely visible thru extreme weight loss, it's been a struggle to get her to accept my needing to wear women's pants, bras, shirts because men's clothes don't fit my measurements.

 

My natural inclination is to automatically be wary of men, not feeling safe around them or trust their intentions. I'm curious if you could DM about how taking HRT has changed your emotions and thought processes.

 

Hugs,

Mychal

 

Mychal, I'll be glad to DM you. Will be doing so shortly.

 

[Kristen Sehr]

4 hours ago, Birdie said:

My wife left about the time I could no longer hide my breasts in public. 

Trying to keep the S.O. happy while dealing with physical changes at the same time can be challenging. I did not succeed. I would take her back anytime, but as time passes that seems very unlikely. 

@Mychal do your best to keep her happy finding a happy medium, and open conversation is the best advice I can offer. 😉

 

I am so very sorry that happened to you Birdie, with your wife leaving like that. For those of us already in relationships when our gender issues surface, finding a happy medium can be difficult if not impossible. It was an extremely hard time for me when that happened, so I can relate.

 

Plus I was so deeply in denial when I got married that I would not even recognize the gender issues going on inside myself at that point, let alone be able to confide in anybody else about them. So my wife got far more than she ever bargained for, and it was all the more shocking when I finally did come out to her (as I had felt this way since I was a little kid, and told her so). I truly felt horrible. Absolutely horrible, because I loved her and I had deeply hurt her.

 

What helped, but only somewhat, was the realization that at least some of what she found attractive in me, and loved about me, were the femme things in my personality that she later instantly distrusted and hated when she first found out about what I really was under the surface. Took awhile to reach that point. We separated but got back together.

 

There is certainly a need for balance and negotiation when possible, when a spouse is involved - if one wants the relationship to continue. But how far does one go in trying to be accommodating with a spouse while also dealing with pressing gender issues like these? Darned if I know.

[Birdie]

1 hour ago, Kristen Sehr said:

So my wife got far more than she ever bargained for

Yeah, my wife of course knew I was intersex when we married. She did not know that my body wasn't done changing yet, and I didn't either. 

The changes were quick and drastic, even though I was still "trying" to present myself as male. 

When things couldn't be hidden from public view anymore, she decided she wasn't into it. She didn't sign up for "kissing a girl", and that's where my body decided to go. Of course finally being honest with her after all those years and explaining that I had always seen myself female and the male thing was a "charade" didn't help either. 

I should have been completely honest when we met, and she could have avoided it altogether. 

 

All in all, my body decided to go all the way, and I'm just along for the ride. I finally let my growing breasts and curves lead the way and accepted myself. Would have been nice if my wife was here too join me, but she isn't. 

You can negotiate how you present yourself, but you can't negotiate out physical changes that are happening by themselves.   

In my case both parties needed to compromise, and that didn't happen.