Introducing Myself

[Kristen Sehr]

59 minutes ago, Birdie said:

Yeah, my wife of course knew I was intersex when we married. She did not know that my body wasn't done changing yet, and I didn't either. 

The changes were quick and drastic, even though I was still "trying" to present myself as male. 

When things couldn't be hidden from public view anymore, she decided she wasn't into it. She didn't sign up for "kissing a girl", and that's where my body decided to go. Of course finally being honest with her after all those years and explaining that I had always seen myself female and the male thing was a "charade" didn't help either. 

I should have been completely honest when we met, and she could have avoided it altogether. 

 

All in all, my body decided to go all the way, and I'm just along for the ride. I finally let my growing breasts and curves lead the way and accepted myself. Would have been nice if my wife was here too join me, but she isn't. 

You can negotiate how you present yourself, but you can't negotiate out physical changes that are happening by themselves.   

In my case both parties needed to compromise, and that didn't happen. 

 

I think you did what was needed for you. And that it was the right thing, which makes it no less tragic or sad when it comes to losing a spouse. I'm not intersex but I certainly know what it means to fight oneself, and to deny oneself, to deny gender and who one truly is inside for a very, very long time.

 

I've known trans folks with spouses that were able to stick with them, and others that could not find doing so to be in themselves. On the other hand, some that lost spouses later on found other partners that were more far accepting, and built long lasting, enduring relationships on that.  

[Birdie]

1 hour ago, Kristen Sehr said:

I've known trans folks with spouses that were able to stick with them, and others that could not find doing so to be in themselves. On the other hand, some that lost spouses later on found other partners that were more far accepting, and built long lasting, enduring relationships on that.  

I have no desire to ever build a relationship with anyone again. I have had many offers that I have cordially rejected. One of them is still my very close friend. 

Some of the offers were from the other side of the aisle, and that was intriguing, but NO. I have always found some men to be very attractive, but I don't know if I could never move on that. 

3 strikes and you're out. I had my three, so I'm done. 👍

 

[Kristen Sehr]

1 hour ago, Birdie said:

I have no desire to ever build a relationship with anyone again. I have had many offers that I have cordially rejected. One of them is still my very close friend. 

Some of the offers were from the other side of the aisle, and that was intriguing, but NO. I have always found some men to be very attractive, but I don't know if I could never move on that. 

3 strikes and you're out. I had my three, so I'm done. 👍

 

 

In my own life, I have learned to "never say never". Because things can change and sometimes very unexpectedly. On the other hand, you are doing what is right for you and there is no fault in that. I can understand. 

 

The other side of the aisle is an intriguing place. And most men I have no interest in anymore. However, sometimes when I meet somebody something just clicks, and an attraction is definitely present (not that I'll act on it right away as much more needs to happen first).

 

And then there are those male friends that over time, some deep emotional connections were forged with. And with one in particular, and right out of the blue after we had already known each other for decades - I could absolutely feel myself falling in love with him (and this was prior to my starting any hormones). He was straight though, and already taken. But oh my, what might have been... 💕 

 

 

[Birdie]

2 minutes ago, Kristen Sehr said:

 

In my own life, I have learned to "never say never". Because things can change and sometimes very unexpectedly. On the other hand, you are doing what is right for you and there is no fault in that. I can understand. 

 

The other side of the aisle is an intriguing place. And most men I have no interest in anymore. However, sometimes when I meet somebody something just clicks, and an attraction is definitely present (not that I'll act on it right away as much more needs to happen first).

 

And then there are those male friends that over time, some deep emotional connections were forged with. And with one in particular, and right out of the blue after we had already known each other for decades - I could absolutely feel myself falling in love with him (and this was prior to my starting any hormones). He was straight though, and already taken. But oh my, what might have been... 💕 

 

 

I have a good friend that have known for years. He came over after quite some time to visit. I went out as "Birdie", and I dressed the part. I must have changed clothes a dozen times before he arrived, so that told me I felt more than I wanted to admit. 💖

The dinner date was spectacular, and he asked if we could continue going out. 🙄

I initially agreed, but later called him to cancel.

I am technically still married since I never divorced, and he has a wife that he says, "what she don't know won't hurt her". 

I'm sorry, but I can't do that. 

If that's the kind of guys I attract then absolutely NO. 

[Mirrabooka]

On 6/26/2023 at 7:20 AM, Mychal said:

Hello. I'm Mychal.

Hello Mychal. Welcome aboard! Pleased to meet you...again!  

[Mychal]

On 6/28/2023 at 4:35 AM, Birdie said:

On 6/28/2023 at 4:35 AM, Birdie said:

I have a good friend that have known for years. He came over after quite some time to visit. I went out as "Birdie", and I dressed the part. I must have changed clothes a dozen times before he arrived, so that told me I felt more than I wanted to admit. 💖

The dinner date was spectacular, and he asked if we could continue going out. 🙄

I initially agreed, but later called him to cancel.

I am technically still married since I never divorced, and he has a wife that he says, "what she don't know won't hurt her". 

I'm sorry, but I can't do that. 

If that's the kind of guys I attract then absolutely NO. 

 

Birdie, you have to be honest with yourself, and follow your moral sense of values!

 

Hugs,

Mychal

[MaeBe]

Hi Mychal!

 

I assume we may/may have participated on another forum before here. If so, hello here! If not, nice to meet you!

[April Marie]

2 hours ago, MaeBe said:

Hi Mychal!

 

I assume we may/may have participated on another forum before here. If so, hello here! If not, nice to meet you!

I was just wondering how Mychal was doing - hasn't been on the forum since mid-September. I hope all is well.

[Bdolfan1964]

On 6/26/2023 at 4:54 AM, Mychal said:

Thank you for the welcome, April Marie and MaybeRob! I'm looking forward to chatting with members and getting fashion hints on pulling together some outfits to replace my boys clothes!

 

Ciao,

Mychal

Hi ,

I would love to chat with you! I’m all new to this fashion and looking for community