Glasses and piercings and dysphoria :/

[NoEli6]

Dysphoria has been kicking my butt lately because of all that's going on. I think I really need something more gender-affirming- I recently got new ear piercings, thinking that earrings would look more kind of masculine and alternative fashion if I had more than one per ear, but the studs I've got in these are like small diamonds. Very feminine. I've been getting misgendered so much lately. Started a new job at an ice cream place, too, which means more access to more people who think I'm a girl. At this point, even looking at my arm while I'm struggling to scoop some tough ice cream just makes me want to scream. I think I need a change in glasses- and the piercing, too, but I don't know what to do other than wait it out till I can get some plain black studs or something more masculine (AKA boring). I just need some kind of change, really. I'm in the hopes that changing my glasses will help me pass at least marginally better- I hope I'll find the energy to work out more soon, too. I've been kind of chronically fatigued for a while. So, let me show you my current glasses and the ones I want. I've got these round wire-framed ones that I'm showing two of and I want the ones shown on this random guy from Google. Is this an upgrade? Do you think it'll help? I've got an awfully smooth face with a slightly visible but still feminine jawline. Very soft cheeks, skin with hardly any blemishes- basically all the tell-tale signs of a girl. Nose and eyebrows I think are androgynous, though maybe me having nice-looking eyebrows would in fact seem feminine to some. 

[NoEli6]

Side note: I look kinda like a paler version of the guy above with more feminine features. Thinner nose, fuller lips, and maybe it's a trick of the glasses but their eyebrows seem more square. Longer face shape by a bit, though. I think when I smile I straight up look like a girl. 

[April Marie]

I hope you don't mind me providing some thoughts. I saw your post in the recent posts area and started my answer before realizing it was in the FtM section. I thought, perhaps, I could provide the perspective of someone looking to do the opposite transition and who has worn male-type glasses for decades. 

 

I can surely understand the dysphoria that just constantly drags at the self-confidence. When I had my ears pierced, I needed to have something that was androgynous enough that wouldn't scream male or female. The piercer initially grabbed ones like you describe - very small fake diamonds and I asked for something different just because the small stones did seem more feminine. I'd swap out as soon as you're healed to something larger and clunkier. Actually, my go to earrings are small hoops - like Niall Horan of One Direction wore on this season of The Voice.

 

It seems like I see more women going for the larger dark frames recently. When I pull up pictures of men wearing glasses, I tend to see frames that are not as large and trend towards more rectangular. Hard lines. not softer rounded lines would seem to give off more of a male vibe. I looked for an example - who is more masculine than Tom Brady wearing glasses? 🤣 These frames are dark like the ones you showed, but more rectangular. I know when I have visited the optometrist over the years and looked at new frames, the vast majority are smaller and more-rectangular. 

 

 

One possible - and easy way - to get an idea  of what would give off a more masculine look would be to go to a local drug store or Dollar General and try on reading glasses and sunglasses. They'll have a variety for you to try without spending money up front on new frames. I offer that as an idea since I did this to find some more feminine reading glasses.

 

I had a thought while typing this that made me LoL. When I was in the Army, they issued us glasses, although we could wear our own purchased glasses, too. The issued glasses were always from a general contract and you didn't have many options. One year, they started issuing tortise-shell plastic frames that were hideous - and they quickly became known as "Birth Control Glasses." No one found those things attractive.

 

Again, I hope you don't mind my jumping in. As sisters and brothers we share many of the same struggles...and dysphoria is a universal bane. Stay strong!!

 

 

 

 

[Vidanjali]

I find glasses with an aviator bridge & either horizontal or bowed downward across the top (as opposed to a cat eye bowed upward shape which tends to be more feminine). Here are two examples I found. Also, if the top of the glasses obscure the eyebrows, it can give the illusion of a thicker brow and more prominent brow ridge. As far as earrings to masculinize your image, a larger size stud would do it, and perhaps a darker colored stone. Anthony Anderson who looks very masculine with earrings comes to mind.