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High heels


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This may sound like a silly question, but I was at a party last week and I couldn't help noticing the women that wore high heels, and how nice a look it gives an outfit, and how graceful they look when wearing them.  I was so amazed at how effortless it is to look so graceful in heels, and while it's not an everyday look, of course, it's something that should be a part of any woman's fashion accessories, and it's one of the things that definitely emphasizes what makes a woman who she is.


I have a few pairs of heels I wear at home from time to time (2 inches up to about 3 1/4), and I am just terrible walking in them.  Yes I can stay on my feet in them, but I look in the mirror and I don't look graceful in them.  I look like I'm struggling to keep my balance, and that's something I just didn't see at the party last week.  The women there looked so effortless in their ability to walk in their heels like they were not there.


So what is the secret?  Do I just need to keep practicing at home?  Do I need to go out in public in heels more often?  Or are my high heel shoes just not the best quality?  They are from a thrift store at this point.


I just want to do it right, and I just don't feel like I am.

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Well you got to understand that they are YEARS ahead of us and we have to practice a lot to make it look good. None of my heels are thin. They all are wedged. I don't trust myself yet. I'm afraid a heel will break off. It seems so easy in the movies. I try to walk in them daily because I usually am in dresses which I feel like I need my heels. I do have a pair of flats but I love the look of heels. When I am home I take them off quickly lol. Good luck! You've GOT THIS!

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Yes, Ashley has it right - practice.  But I think there is a bit more to feeling comfortable in them.  After years of walking in them, most women have stretched their ligaments and tendons to the point where it doesn't hurt (as much).  That stretching of the back part of the legs doesn't come without years wearing high heels.  So even if you've got the balance down right, I think it's still going to take time to wear them in comfort.


I once asked a female colleague about why she doesn't wear flats or sneakers walking to the bus or other places outside the office.  She said that her legs are so used to them it feels uncomfortable to wear flat shoes.  You should also know that it's possible to get bunions and other foot problems from wearing heels often.  I know one trans woman IRL who had to have bunion surgery on both feet after years of wearing heels.


Carolyn Marie

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I think Ashley's advice is spot-on.  It's really about the amount of time you spend wearing high heels.  Eventually it comes natural, you completely forget you are wearing them.  But it's also about wearing them frequently, and on different surfaces too.  You have to get used to how to walk in them on different situations, and on steps, etc.


I also think it's important to start with heels that are wider, not only at the top, but where they touch the floor. Yes they can look a bit less fashionable than thin heels, but they are much more stable, and much easier to learn in.


I also agree with Carolyn.  Your legs and ligaments have to adjust as well.  Be patient Chloe.  It took years for me to get adjusted to walking in heels, and your time will come.  Just wear them when you can, but I'd definitely start with heels that are a little lower, with wider heels, and work your way up.

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So much good advice here! Yes, wear them!!! Walk around in them....alot. Stretch the muscles and tendons. Practice taking different length steps and placing one foot in front of the other as you walk. I started right into 6" platforms...and almost broke an ankle a few times before I got my balance down. I'm by no means perfect but after a few years of practice, I'm very comfortable wearing them. I generally stick to 3 to 5" heels most of the time but still have a few 6" pairs for fun. And, a wide heel is definitely easier to walk in.


I also found that wearing boots with heels in colder weather kept my legs in shape for sandals and wedges in warmer weather. Once the muscles and feet are trained, you need to keep them in line. 😁


The hardest part for me is finding heels that really fit. I wear something between a 12 and 13 and can generally only find whole sizes. A 12W will normally work for me but to wear them for hours, with any grace, takes a good fitting pair of heels.


You can do it!!! It just takes practice!!!

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I don’t wear heels often, but am comfortable with them.  

Opinions differ, but I think tip toe-ing it gives me the most graceful balance 


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2 hours ago, Carolyn Marie said:

I once asked a female colleague about why she doesn't wear flats or sneakers walking to the bus or other places outside the office.  She said that her legs are so used to them it feels uncomfortable to wear flat shoes.


I know exactly what she's talking about, @Carolyn Marie.  I have to wear 3 1/2" narrow heels in my job everyday and have for years, and now my legs really suffer when I go back to flats or sneakers.  But I think it's also a good thing to alternate between heels at work and sneakers or sandals at night and on weekends.


But I agree with everyone here, it's really just about practice and persistence.  You will get there, but it takes some time.

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i never had a problem with heels but i can tell this. As I get older its more of a pain. I stop the 8inch now i am down to just 5 0r 6inch. I put a sole gel in then and that usually dose the trick


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I love wearing and walking in heels and over the years, I think I've mastered them.  One thing I did learn early on was that it is important to master the art of walking like a woman before adding heels to the mix.  High-heels tend to be made with female body geometry in mind, which is why it may be more natural for cis women to walk in them.  The female pelvis tends to lower a woman's center of gravity.  This geometry also dampens out head and shoulder sway.  Conversely, if you were AMAB, the pelvic geometry exacerbates head and shoulder sway making it harder to stay balanced when wearing high-heels. So, to master high-heels, it is important to learn to walk like a woman first, eliminating the upper body sway so typical of male body geometry.  Once that's done, walking in high heels becomes much easier and looks much more natural.  "She Struts."  

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Wow, thanks for the answers everyone!  I guess I never thought about it being a physical difference between those born male and born female, but that makes a lot of sense.  


I will definitely practice more and will also try bigger heels that are more stable.  Thanks all! 😚

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  • 2 months later...

Speaking of Heels 👠 👠


You can bet when I get a lighter motorcycle the kickstand will look like this. Not to mention my leathers will have bling. 


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