Binding Substitutes (Bad title, I know, shhhh lol)

[RaineOnYourParade]

TW, brief mention of desire to self harm

 

So I'm not a very safe binder. I don't wear it to bed or while exercising or anything like that, I'm not that bad, but I wear it basically every moment I'm awake. My chest dysphoria's really bad to the point where I'm sometimes tempted to take a knife and just chop, chop, chop away at my chest (anyone who gets that reference I love you). So yeah. Walking around without a binder is not comfy. It's not as bad in bed since I can cover myself in a blanket until I'm a shapeless blob, but any alternatives for when I'm still in my waking hours to reduce the dysphoria a bit? My chest fat sacks have gotten too large for just baggy clothes to work, even with most sports bras I own, so I'm kinda at a loss

[VickySGV]

Your sports bra is still your friend there, but shirt style and pattern will give it (sorry) added support at de-emphasizing the "rib cage fat".   Without knowing your work type, I am at a bit of a loss on what you might need.  Button front shirts that have vertical patterns or a just some work uniform plain color will de-emphasize your upper chest.  There are guys with moobs wearing that stuff.  Other item is just to get busy enough to keep your mind off it.  I know that will be tough, but it works with all of us to a degree in our favor. 

[RaineOnYourParade]

2 minutes ago, VickySGV said:

Your sports bra is still your friend there, but shirt style and pattern will give it (sorry) added support at de-emphasizing the "rib cage fat".   Without knowing your work type, I am at a bit of a loss on what you might need.  Button front shirts that have vertical patterns or a just some work uniform plain color will de-emphasize your upper chest.  There are guys with moobs wearing that stuff.  Other item is just to get busy enough to keep your mind off it.  I know that will be tough, but it works with all of us to a degree in our favor. 

Thanks for the reply :)) I haven't heard the vertical pattern thing before, actually, so I might try that. 

[Vidanjali]

Wish I had a good answer for you. It's been tooooooo hot in South Florida this summer to bind unless I'm going directly to a place with AC. But most of my outings these days are to healthcare appts, so I don't bind for those so they can read my blood pressure accurately and in case I am required to undress. Else, I'm walking my puppies or taking them to the dog park. It's been dangerously hot down here. Lately my binder substitution has been an under armour tight fitting tank, followed by a NY&Co shaper camisole with the shelf bra cut out of it, then oversized tee shirt on top. Both with a binder and my alternative, after I've "bound", I lie on my back and allow gravity to flatten the "chest fat sacks" as you put it (tbh, that's how I see them as well). They drop away from the center which gives a tiny bit more flattening look, as opposed to conglomerated towards the midline. The nips wind up pointing in kind of an unnatural position when standing up, but I avoid wearing anything that would show it. Unfortunately, it's a lot of weight on the chest I'd prefer to do without, so I hear ya. I focus a lot of my meditative contemplation on "I am not the body", primarily for spiritual purposes, but it also helps with acceptance of the shape I'm dealing with. 

[RaineOnYourParade]

@Vidanjali Your options: tight clothes or lots of clothes. Pick your poison.

I would say Florida heat must suck except I'm the type of person that wears puffy jackets in 60 degree weather and would probably flourish if it was constantly hot to the point where most people hated it lol

I read a little bit about the "I am not the body" thing you have in the Spiritual area (snooping is fun), some of it makes sense.

 

Thanks for the reply!

[Vidanjali]

19 hours ago, RaineOnYourParade said:

@Vidanjali Your options: tight clothes or lots of clothes. Pick your poison.

I would say Florida heat must suck except I'm the type of person that wears puffy jackets in 60 degree weather and would probably flourish if it was constantly hot to the point where most people hated it lol

 

Yes, lol, those are the poisons du jour. I truly marvel at guys with no boobs, the ease of wearing just one layer...

 

I have been extremely heat tolerant most of my life. I would usually have been bundled up to the nines in 60 degrees weather (which is rare down here), and never ever complained about heat so hot you're sweating just sitting still. But, this summer has been the perfect storm of premenopausal hormonal changes + POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) + climate change + El Niño. This month has been better, but for most of July there was a heat advisory every day with "real feel" temps in the 100teens-twenties with humidity. I'd walk outside and my heart rate would immediately skyrocket even without binding or layers. Not cool, literally and figuratively. We're getting into hurricane season now, and getting more breeze, so that's a relief - hopefully the worst of the storms stay out at sea. 

 

What's interesting is that once I began wearing a binder, I became much more self-conscious on occasions when not wearing it. There's a relative consciousness about it.

 

Off topic, just curious - how do you like living in Frederick? I've been investigating different cities for several months to see where we could move to. Gotta exit Florida eventually due to politics, climate change & cost of living. My brother lives in Pasadena, MD. I thought western MD might be nice bc more nature - would like to be closer to my bro, but too much traffic east - but eventually ruled it out bc MD overall has a very high cost of living, and it appears folks in western MD are more likely to be right wing. I also imagine it's a different prospective for you as a younger person growing up there compared to me a Gen X person making choices. 

[RaineOnYourParade]

@Vidanjali I can't remember the last time I was actually hot haha, and I get what you mean about the binder.

 

Frederick is a weird little area, it's in southern MD between Baltimore and DC. We have the sticks, the suburbs, and a downtown/city area all within ten minutes of each other. The city is smaller, so it's not too crazy. I went to Pride last year too, it's a nice celebration. There's a bunch (although depending on where in FL you are it might seem like less) of festivals and organized things too. 

 

Good food and nice stores, too. When it comes to experiences outside the fests, though, there's a bit less variety and you might have to drive out. There's a big protected wildlife area with a trail in the part of Frederick I live in, too, and there's a lot of parks. Overall, I'd say it's pretty nice.

[Vidanjali]

@RaineOnYourParade that's what I gathered. Seems like a pleasant place to live. And super that they have Pride there.

[RaineOnYourParade]

4 minutes ago, Vidanjali said:

@RaineOnYourParade that's what I gathered. Seems like a pleasant place to live. And super that they have Pride there.

I wish I could live in Florida without Florida politics. I like hot weather, beaches, swamps, and theme parks... basically summer. I like summer.

[Vidanjali]

3 minutes ago, RaineOnYourParade said:

I wish I could live in Florida without Florida politics. I like hot weather, beaches, swamps, and theme parks... basically summer. I like summer.

 

You're preaching to the choir, son lol. I do love Florida, but there are many concerns here.

[RaineOnYourParade]

34 minutes ago, Vidanjali said:

 

You're preaching to the choir, son lol. I do love Florida, but there are many concerns here.

V sad that such a pretty place is having so many problems