Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Interactions with other people


Roach

Recommended Posts

Just want some anecdotes. How have you noticed interactions with other people (strangers, clients, coworkers, classmates, etc.) changing since you started presenting differently?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

When i first transitioned life seemed awkward with most if not all who i had known well.  Over time i was comfortable in myself and they were with me.  It takes some time.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

I'm still new to transitioning since I started in May of this year. No one other than my kids and some family members have accepted me. Maybe it'll take more time or maybe they just won't. I would like to be accepted but I have been a black sheep my life. I miss talking to other people other than my boys and small talk at church. My church is filled with elders because not many Lutheran's in the south that are my age. We did get three young members and they are too young. They are 18 and I'm 39 which makes me feel really old because I could have a kid older than that. The church does know I'm trans so that is a plus. The pastor is wanting to learn more about the trans community so I told him that I would talk about it without issue because it makes another informed person out there.

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

The church does know I'm trans so that is a plus. The pastor is wanting to learn more about the trans community so I told him that I would talk about it without issue because it makes another informed person out there.

 

This is good, I suppose.  I was raised in the Lutheran church, and my understanding is that as a denomination they are somewhat open to us.   My relations with the church are, let's just say, complicated.

Link to comment

I've been afraid to, but I've tried to talk to people more aside from the ones I do regularly.

 

With strangers, I don't see much difference. You meet them once and never see them again. When I've voluntarily talked to people to pass the time, I've found the experience enjoyable. We talk, I sit down and listen. I've found not many people will just come up to me and talk to me- I have to do that myself if I want social interaction. It's been fun and I'm always careful. 

 

Now with family, that can be tougher. Especially extended family. I'm treated as I was before and I try not to let it bother me. I'm not close to them, so they really don't know specific things about me. I think it's for the better: a lot of them are from religious backgrounds and some of them have shown themselves not to be kind to those who aren't exactly down 'the straight and narrow.'

 

All in all, everything feels about the same. It's my mindset that has changed.

Link to comment

I haven't come out yet, but I feel with my work it would be too difficult. They've known me as a man for 5 years and I can see there's a lot of prejudice with people at my work place. I could just yesterday overhear a conversation by two of them about how "they" were planning to make laws for children to be transitioned medically without their parents' consent. I'm hoping to be working somewhere else by the time changes in me become obvious and people start noticing and asking too many questions. 

Link to comment
43 minutes ago, Sascha said:

I haven't come out yet, but I feel with my work it would be too difficult. They've known me as a man for 5 years and I can see there's a lot of prejudice with people at my work place. I could just yesterday overhear a conversation by two of them about how "they" were planning to make laws for children to be transitioned medically without their parents' consent. I'm hoping to be working somewhere else by the time changes in me become obvious and people start noticing and asking too many questions. 

Its the same way for me I to have not come out at work I feel it would really mess things up. But I will tell you it is not easy being in boy mode for 4 days a week longer in the winter.  

Link to comment
2 hours ago, rachel w said:

Its the same way for me I to have not come out at work I feel it would really mess things up. But I will tell you it is not easy being in boy mode for 4 days a week longer in the winter.  

Yes, do I know. I'm always looking forward to the weekends when I can be myself, at least at home. But then it's very hard when I have to change back to boy mode and be hit by reality in the process.

 

But in the bright side, this shows me how much worth is to pursue my goal to be able to be myself permanently. I'm planning to change jobs as soon as I can and find a place where they are open and supportive to trans people so I can start my new life. But in the worst case, if for some reason I have to stick with my current job, I know I still have to go ahead with my transition. I cannot give up my happiness for the sake of not making others uncomfortable in their status quo bubbles, even if hell breaks loose. I hope you are doing well and moving towards being your authentic self even if only by small steps at a time.

Link to comment

I transitioned while in a very public facing role, and while I noticed some people holding back from talking to me, I eventually worked out the lack of comfort was mostly in my head! I simply made it obvious which sex I was presenting as, and it made the people I was dealing with much more comfortable as they knew how to approach and address me. This works for binary, but non binary makes it harder for people to engage, more because they don't want to offend than being uncomfortable with your presentation. 

 

When interacting with other people , make it obvious how you want to be treated, and get on with the topic at hand and you will simply make it easier for everyone, including yourself! Yes, there will still be the odd jerk, but they usually aren't too smart so have some responses ready. The majority of people just want to get on with life!

 

Hugs,

 

Allie

Link to comment

The way strangers relate to me has changed a lot since I socially transitioned. Women approach me regularly with compliments and encouragement, whereas men often act nervous or ignore me. Very occasionally (five times in the past year) young men have heckled me in the street; most of the heckling is annoying but harmless, but on one occasion I feared for my safety. Meanwhile I have made many more friends than usual in such a short time. I like myself a lot more: I am generally far more happy and outgoing. (This has changed a little since my sister’s death two months ago.) 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

My interactions with both people I know and with strangers have improved since I came out six years ago. 

 

Back in the old days, men used to see me as some kind of weird, defective, gay-ish man and would relate to me only to the degree that they had to.  Women saw me as a man, and therefore a threat.  I had to be very good at anything I did just to be tolerated.

 

Now, people see me as a woman.  Men treat me with respect, hold doors for me, etc.   Women talk to me and treat me as "one of the girls".  When I go to the hardware store, sales clerks are eager to help me find stuff, to lift heavy tools for me, etc.  Back in the day, I could never find one when I needed help!

 

I am a little bit "on the spectrum" as they say, so I will likely never be gregarious and the life of the party.  But my life and my social interactions are much more pleasant now.

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

When I first came out, a lot of people gave off the vibe that they were walking on eggshells around me. They either wouldn't use my name and/or pronouns, or they would use either or very excessively. I understand that it was an adjustment kind of thing, but it still felt really weird at the time. Nowadays, it's much better though

 

For me, I find that I have no idea how people perceive me gender wise, like, at all. I've had people assume me to be a cis man (even pre-t), a cis woman, or some flavor of non-binary. Even 4 months on testosterone, I still don't really know if people perceive me as a man, woman, person, child, boy, girl, whatever. I'm lucky enough that the people in my life are respectful of my gender, and I feel like I benefit socially from it. I want to be around people more now than I ever did pre-HRT, even if the only changes I've really had are some chin hairs and a small voice drop.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 121 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • Confused90
    • Stormy23
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      81k
    • Total Posts
      772.6k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      8,272
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Tuesday_Elliot
    Newest Member
    Tuesday_Elliot
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Dimitri K
      Dimitri K
      (29 years old)
    2. Lyndoryee
      Lyndoryee
      (29 years old)
    3. MilesTheMan
      MilesTheMan
      (15 years old)
    4. MsMarlo
      MsMarlo
      (61 years old)
    5. NoStormClouds
      NoStormClouds
      (32 years old)
  • Posts

    • Confused90
      See at this point idk what’s real feelings and what’s my ocd getting to me. I can say I found out I have feelings for my coworker who is a guy(amab and straight). When I think of him and wanting to be happy… it brings me to tears 
    • KathyLauren
      Sorry to hear that.  Take some allergy meds.   I had the same experience when my brothers and I were cleaning out our father's house.  He hadn't cleaned since his wife died 9 years earlier.  This was long before covid so I didn't have a mask handy.  Fortunately, his neighbour was a nurse and gave me a mask to wear.  Definitely mask up if you have to go back there.
    • April Marie
      Well, just when I thought I'd turned a corner....the bus hits me.   I've been working with an aging aunt and uncle for almost two years. My uncle was in memory care nursing and passed away last October. My aunt was in and out of the hospital, rehab and her apartment for most of that time. I finally convinced her that she needed to be in skilled nursing and moved her to a facility close to us.   Since then I've been working to get her apartment cleared, cleaned and transition her to Medicaid.    I've spent the last two days at her apartment - a 1.5 hour drive each way - having it cleared and then cleaning it. SHe just wasn't able to clean for herself and the apartment was filled with dust and grime. Last night, after breathing it all in all dal I think I set off an allergy and I have been sick as a dog. Sore throat, congestion, tired, I've slept almost all day and, as my wife has told me several times, I look like hell.   This is really the first I've sat with my Surface all day...and I'm in bed.   Tuesday, I drive back down to have the final inspection and turn in the keys.   Our puppy is now 14 weeks and almost 30 pounds. She had a vet visit on Thursday for her distemper booster and the vet said she is "perfect." She's totally house trained and on her way out of the Velociraptor phase. What a doll she is.   Have a wonderful rest of the weekend!!!
    • April Marie
      This is such wonderful news for you both from being able to start on testosterone and for your parents hearing and supporting you. Good luck and keep in touch!! We're here if you need us.
    • April Marie
      That is an awesome shirt @Ivy
    • Mmindy
      That’s fantastic news and just as @Vidanjalipoints out there are two great realizations in your post. Acceptance by your parents and starting HRT soon.    Congratulates and enjoy the ride.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Looks great @Ivy
    • Ivy
      My daughter sent me this t-shirt.  So I wore it to our local Pride Picnic.
    • Carolyn Marie
      Wonderful news, hon.  I'm very happy for you.  You will make great progress very soon.   HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • Willow
      Glad you are going to a Pride picnic.  I never know in advance what I am going to get to do.  And by the time I do know it’s too late to sign up.  Working is the pits but I am making progress towards being able to quit once and for all, again.  I just don’t know what I’ll be able to do after I’m no longer working because I had to give up all the things I liked to do.   the only way I get a particular day off is to schedule way in advance such as my doctors appointments and church things.  Which reminds me I have some future events I need to put on my need off schedule for October and January.     het @Mmindy just a little play humor there.  Our dog is getting older but as a puppy she was all but housebroken when we picked her up. Just needed to learn a new environment and we had to learn her puppy signals.  We put in an underground fence and she learned to recognize the warning without getting zapped.  When we took her to obedience school she was a quick learner for all but the reason we took her, don’t jump up on people. Learned to Use a bell.  Learned to open lever doors to go out and in.  Still doesn’t like going out in the rain.  Taught us how to interact with her sign language.  And has been a very smart dog.  Her sister is still kept in a cage when no one is home.  Sweetie doesn’t even have one.   best dog ever but will be our last dog when her life ends.  Best to end being dog parents with your best dog.  And yes she is a family member, not a pet.   Willow
    • Betty K
      That’s fantastic news! I know this can be such a hard situation, but it sounds as though you dealt with it brilliantly. Congratulations, and much respect to your parents for listening.
    • Vidanjali
      @hormonedifficientin2ways congratulations! Perhaps it's hard to say which is most affirming, getting to start T or having had your parents finally validate you. Two different realms of euphoria. Best wishes. 
    • Mmindy
      That’s fantastic! 🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈   🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Ivy
      We're having our 2nd annual Pride Picnic today!
    • Mmindy
      @Willow since my wife and I drink different coffee blends, and the puppy gets me up way earlier than I had become accustomed to in retirement. He and I are up and sharing the morning alone, because the wife still sleeps in.    Parker had the last of his puppy vaccinations and wellness check up yesterday weighing in at 24.2 pounds at 13 weeks old. He’s responding well to training and is mostly potty trained. We’re using the sleigh bell method for marking the door to get outside, and waiting for him to bark at the door before letting him in. He understands not to rush the door or gate when we’re moving through them.    Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...